Is there anything that is worse than a pick-up line? At some point we've all had them used on us and whether we want to admit it or not tried them out on someone else as well. Think of how often those lame advances have worked and it is pretty evident there has to be a better way to get your foot in the proverbial door. Luckily there is and that is opener.
The difference between the two is far from subtle. A pick-up line no matter how good it is can be spotted before it's over. The opener however is very clever icebreaker. It doesn't have that creepy overtone that immediately puts a persons radar up. A further bonus is the opener is multi-directional. You may have a specific person in mind when delivering it, but it can reach out and engage an entire group of people bettering the users odds of finding someone receptive to them.
Ask yourself this one simple question, do you really believe telling someone their clothes would look good on your bedroom floor is likely to get a positive response? I use that just as an example because believe it or not people are still dragging that out as old and tired as it is. Now in all honesty, I have responded to it in the past. I've responded by turning my back on the person. I've emptied a drink in the persons lap. I've spread the rumor in the bar that the person had a yet unnamed and untreatable version of herpes that could spread by eye contact. Now if that's the type of response you're looking for, by all means stick with the pick-up lines.
However if you make your approach and break the ice effectively without giving off to a person the feeling they need disinfectant just being near you, then you have a great chance of succeeding. As a bright person you decide the opener is a better option than pick-up lines, but you have no idea what a good opener is. A good opener is simple and non-threatening. The best openers in fact are the ones that don't even appear to be openers.
Over many years I have actually missed a few used on me and for the sake of fighting loneliness around the world I'll share one so you can have an idea of what does work. Now this may sound corny but it did work. If you deliver the opener well which is something you will just have to practice, you are on your way to the promised land. Remember to be confident at all times.
The best openers are the ones in which you ask for help or advice. It's hard to turn someone in need down, especially if it is a man that is secure enough to ask a woman for aid. I had a gentleman that approached a table I was at with my girlfriends one night that pulled this move off better than I ever imagined could be done. We were at a local bar unwinding after a long day and hardly noticed him, actually we just noticed him leaving otherwise he blended into the background. A couple of minutes later he re-entered, looked around a bit lost, and approached us. "Excuse me but could you tell me how to get to the RISD Museum? I don't get into the city very often and I lost my map quest directions somewhere." his line was sheer genius, non threating, no overtones, polite, and again it is hard to turn down a person in need of help.
We went back and forth amongst ourselves as to what the best way to reach his destination was, wrote it down on a napkin for him, and asked if he was interested in a specific exhibit. We started the small talk, by using an opener and giving us the chance he reversed the playing field letting us think it was all our idea to talk to him. He thanked us and asked if we would be staying awhile as he would like to buy us a drink for helping out. As this didn't have the pick-up feel or even that of an opener we all agreed. As he ordered he asked how long it would take to get there, and deciding he had time asked if we would mind if he had a quick drink with us and gather some knowledge as to what else he should see while in the museum.
Again we were receptive and eager to hear about what he liked at the museum, where he lived, worked, and so on, as well as share our favorite parts of the museum. Once you get a person talking about themselves or their likes you have already increased your odds of success immeasurably. He had gone from being out the door to sitting with a table of ladies with one simple question and some manners.
After the third drink it was clear he was going to miss the exhibit, but he stated he enjoyed being with us rather than walking the museum alone. By the end of the night he admitted he had no idea how to ask us to have a drink so he asked for directions instead. Whether that was true or it was a part of his well crafted story remains unknown to this day. He eventually got not only the date he was looking for, but married that same woman, my best friend, two years later. To this day he retains it as his secret and we all laugh about it.
Had this stranger simply approached and asked to buy us a drink the odds are we wouldn't have accepted as courtesy would demand we at least allow for introductions. Our defense's would have been up and we would be on the look out for what tactic he was going to use. We would have grilled him like a steak on a barbecue and picked out all his flaws real or imagined until he would never stood a chance.
After seeing the difference in the pick-up line and the opener it is plain what the obvious choice is if you hope to meet someone. Like any craft it takes work to pull it off well. Learning it could be the difference between watching the world go by or getting on for a ride. Don't get left behind, find the opener that works for you, and like Jedi powers use this knowledge for good and not evil. Most of all have fun!