by Melissa DeRisi

Created on: April 17, 2008

You've done it! You've found the person you want to share the most intimate of relationships with. Finding that special someone is arguably one of the most thought and talked about subjects around. Now that you've done it, you're life has meaning and you'll now do all significant and insignificant acts with them in mind. Right?

Chances are you didn't meet your partner in a vacuum. They had friends just like you had friends. It's a safe bet that you'll both still have most of your friends after they find out you're in a steady relationship. As you shift from being an independent individual into a new roll as half of a healthy interdependent relationship, adjustments will have to be made.

A new relationship generally starts with a honeymoon period where there are not enough hours in a day to spend together. Once you've settled into a comfortable pace, other acquaintances will again get a share of the one-on-one time that you have a finite amount of. A unique predicament may occur when friends of the opposite sex are introduced.

A popular subject for movies and literature, the opposite sex friend has the potential for being the cause of your first of many debates. If you already feel left in the cold by your loved one enjoying someone else's company, it can sting a little bit more when it's someone you feel in competition with. Since you find your mate highly desirable, wouldn't anyone else of the same persuasion?

Your girlfriend or wife goes to the movies with her girl friend; no problem, girl bonding. When she goes to a movie with a guy friend; why can't she just go with you? What guy spends time alone with a girl he hasn't thought of sleeping with? Your boyfriend or husband is going hiking with his guy friend; not a big deal. When he goes hiking with a girl friend; what?! Does she know and respect that he's in a steady relationship with me?

Assuming that you want your relationship to be satisfying and have longevity, real communication mixed with compromise is imperative. Try to ensure a number of activities with your new partner and opposite sex friends so that familiarity can be established. If you feel uncomfortable about anything, discuss your feelings without accusing and before they grow out of proportion. Be wary of arguments over "nothing."

Though it is true that your new partner will not likely be best friends with your best friends, you'll find over time a shift occurs when yours and mine can become ours. A grand goal, but not always possible when real infidelity becomes an issue. Just remember, jealousy, accusations and friend monitoring will not protect you from being cheated on. Practicing healthy communication and working on a satisfying relationship is always a safer more rewarding bet.

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