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KAI THE WONDER DOG! (and we do wonder)

Josh tried his best to hide a smirk as his dad gave him a warning look. "I can't apologise enough" pleaded Spike, "Kai's usually such a reliable dog. I don't know what happened!" The dog looked on smugly as the chicken lay limp and lifeless in Tony's arms. Josh was 10 years old and although the situation was sad, difficult and embarrassing, especially for his dad, he couldn't help but find the dog's face comical.

Tony had asked his colleague, Spike, for help in rounding up Joyce one of three illusive chickens on the run from the hen coop. These chickens - Joyce, Flo and Mavis (3 old birds) were named after Tony's elderly aunts and much loved by both Tony and his family.

The so-called Lake District Three' had made a heroic bid for freedom by jumping the wooden fence separating the allotment from a small but badly over-grown field and proceeded to set up home in the wilderness. After countless failed attempts to catch the chickens Tony had asked for the help of Spike's dog, Kai a well-groomed and extremely agile spaniel known locally for his great enthusiasm when locating the occasional pheasant. Spike was sure he was the dog for the job.

Now two chickens had found their way home but Tony was growing increasingly anxious for the safety of Joyce. He was sure she was still in the long grass. He could hear her scratching around. But, with an imminent family holiday Tony was afraid the neighbourhood fox would have Joyce for a tasty snack; one small field, lots of tall grass and a dog named Kai what could possibly go wrong?

In went the dog, up went the chicken. Now it is well known that a clipped chicken is capable of a 2 ft flap in a roughly semi-circular direction. Kai, however, can jump at least 6 ft in any direction and this he did as Joyce took flight. Grabbing the chicken Kai brought it down and Joyce made several attempts to break free. Kai gave the bird a gentle nip to let her know who was in charge and the chicken relaxed.

On presenting the lifeless chicken to Spike, Kai looked every inch the great retriever. Joyce neither looked or sounded as clever. After giving a small flutter and a final coo' she flopped to one side and died. Blood trickled slowly down her beak. Spike gave a heavy sigh and looked ominously at Kai. To make matters worse, Spike could hear Josh trying hard not to chuckle. "Shut up!" he whispered in hoarse tones from the corner of his mouth. Spike looked across to Tony whose children were stood close by and looking very near to tears. "I'll, erm, buy you kids another one!" pleaded Spike.

"Look, don't worry" said Tony. "These things happen it can't be helped!" He wasn't sure he completely forgave Kai but he had asked for the dog's help, unfortunately for Joyce.

Back at work it wasn't long before the tale was told and the jokes came thick and fast. A picture of Foghorn Leghorn playing croquet through a spaniel's pinned down ears appeared stuck to Spike's locker and Joyce's Revenge' high-lighted above it; drawings of a picturesque grave with protruding chicken legs and the remains of a dog's recent movement steaming by the graveside - just two of the back at ya's' fired by Tony and his colleagues.

The following day Tony received a telephone call from his uncle to say his Auntie Joyce was feeling poorly! Fortunately, this particular bird did not require the life-saving skills of Kai and made a full recovery to the great relief of everyone concerned.

Learn more about this author, Jax Lugers.
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