by Mr. Jay L.

Created on: April 16, 2008

There are a variety of reasons why a man would be hesitant to ask a woman out. The reasons are as varied as the number of men on the planet. However, there are several basic categories into which men tend to fall; often men will combine several categories to various degrees to create a template that is theirs and theirs alone.

Let's try to identify some of them, shall we?

1) The Walking Wounded. These are the men who have had some traumatic dating experience, specifically in the "asking out" phase. They have consistently been turned down for dates, and figure they are somehow disfigured; the mistake that they make is that these men often make is an assumption that they physically lack something desireable. They get the change of clothes, change their look, change their car or motorcycle, and still get nowehere. Having been turned down so many times, they have no clue where they go wrong and get stuck in a cycle of changing their appearance rather than their behavior. After a while they are afraid to approach anyone for fear of rejection.

2) The Betrayed. These men are angry and resentful because of some past injustice that has been done to them, or that they perceive as having been done to them; the problem that these men face is that they think they have healed when really they haven't. What consititutes a sufficient betrayal for this type? Divorce and infidelity on the part of their significant other are the main factors for this one. Beneath their calm exteriors simmers a cauldron of distrust, resentment, and anger that women can easiliy smell a mile away. These men are afraid to ask people out for fear that they will once again be betrayed.

3) The Defeatest. This man sabotages himself before he ever leaves his front door. His house is too shaby. His clothes don't fit right. He doesn't have the right car, the right job, or the right income. In essense, he has nothing a woman could possibly want. He validates his insecurities by gravitating to the women who are looking for all the materialistic things and the Hollywood good looks; when they shoot him down he feels vindicated in his harsh self-criticism, and the cycle becomes even harsher. After a while he gives up asking anyone out, assured that he has nothing of value.

4) The Misfit. This is the guy in High School who wasn't exactly a geek or a nerd, but wasn't exactly cool either. He simply didn't fit in with all the cliques, either through clothing or interests. He makes friends easily, but can't seem to get

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>