by Donna St. Jean Conti

Created on: April 16, 2008

Parents with cancer looking for ways to help their kids cope do have free resources available to them.

Most likely, you have heard the statistic that one in eight women is diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. For some of us, our diagnosis comes at a relatively young age when we are focused on raising children, which potentially adds to our personal struggles and feelings related to receiving a cancer diagnosis. Often, mothers and their partners struggle with or at least ponder how or what to tell their children about the cancer. Some want to know how to relieve their children of the day-to-day treatment and recovery regimen. Some even want to know to get their kids out having fun and to, well, just be kids. In short, they want to give their kids a break in several senses of the word. Thankfully, there are organizations out there that will help.

My children were two and four at the time of my breast cancer diagnosis, and my second phone call, after calling the American Cancer Society (http://www.cancer.org), was to Kids Konnected. I still swell with emotion on remembering that phone call. The woman on the other end of the phone was sympathetic, helpful, sincere. She sent us Teddy Bears.
Based in Laguna Hills, Calif., Kids Konnected was established in 1993 by a then 11-year-old, Jon Wagner-Holtz, whose own mother battled and beat breast cancer. The mission was simple: To provide friendship, understanding, education and support to kids who have or had a parent with cancer.

One of the first things Kids Konnected volunteers will do is send a variety of educational materials, including a new book called Hope the Bear: How to Help Your Children Cope with Your Cancer Diagnosis, co-authored by Lynette Wilhardt and Barbara Granoff. The organization used to send a collection of books to callers, but, as Wilhardt explained, "All of the books had some helpful information, but none of them had all the information needed to address the situations that come up regarding children and a parent's cancer, so we published our own book."

Kids Konnected also provides families touched by cancer with opportunities for counseling and support group participation. Support groups are organized by age group and held once or twice per month. When we began attending the support groups, my children were five and seven years old. They were in different groups with my daughter's group focusing on art and dance therapy while my son's group focused on writing, talking and role playing.

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