What kind of person am I? I know what kind of person I'm not. That is my beginning point. If I can identify what I'm not then I will find out who I am. Most of my life I've only known who I am through the voices and the opinions of others. Through them I know that I'm stubborn, I know that I'm loud, that I talk too much, I know that I'm arrogant. The list goes on and on but I won't bore you with what other people think I am. These voices are just voices that have belonged to teachers, strangers,lovers and friends. Voices that will always be with me and can't be denied but acknowledged. Voices that have something to teach me, voices that remind me that my focus is in the wrong place.
For a long time a part of me resisted the labels I'd been given. I hated the names I'd been given, so I did everything in my power not to be those names people had given me. I became kinder, quieter and less resistant. I forced myself into being a rigid person who conformed to her external environment. This change led me into an early marriage that was mapped for disaster. A marriage that brought about the very labels I didn't want to be.
It wasn't until the destruction of the relationship that I finally turned inwards. When I looked within and asked myself who I was, the answers came. Understanding what mattered to me was far more important than what others thought about me. I can now look into my mirror every morning and smile with confidence and know what kind of person I am. I am me! That's it.
I'm whoever I choose to be everyday. I could be happy I could be sad, I could feel annoyed or I couldn't be bothered, it doesn't matter!
My emotions from day to day are only indicators of how I feel. How I choose to respond will no longer depend on the opinions of others but on the opinion of the person who looks back at me in the mirror every single day. I'm a wonderful person full of love, love eternal. Love free to give and free to receive.
Who I am can never be truly defined on an action or inaction, nor can it be defined in the many opinions of a passer by. I am whoever you want me to be, who I am to you will only be a reflection of who you are. That's me!