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Living in an apartment is an art. Oh, yeah. Discretion and diplomacy are needed, as well as patience and perhaps long-suffering. And please, always keep your dignity in working with your neighbors. Some apartment complexes have quality insulation for sound while others that are older contain very little to absorb the sounds. Just as living within a home, you cannot expect complete silence from next door.

Most apartment tenants don't have a say who will be their neighbors. All would appreciate a caring and quiet one. That doesn't always happen.

If your neighbor disturbs you as soon as you or he moves in, wait at least two weeks for the behavior to change. Perhaps this is due to the move or other unknown circumstances.

TALK FACE-TO-FACE

If the neighbor is disruptive with his loud sounds, talk to him first. Even if the talk doesn't change his ways, at least you have tried, kept your dignity, and been the kind of neighbor that you would like him to be. Your behavior alone could turn his mind to see the situation your way. Sometimes notes work if you can't locate the person who works nights and you work days. However, an upfront person will always make a better impression than a note.

If you've talked to the neighbor about lowering his sound (a common complaint) and he continues to blare his stereo or TV, try asking him again. Depending on the neighbor's personality and character, this must be used with discretion.

TALK TO LANDLORD

The next step is to talk to the landlord. For some, the landlord is easily accessible. For others, they can never find him when they need him and wonder where he hides out. If only they could locate him, they'd remind him about that broken dryer or dripping faucet to be fixed. Oh, and the toilet . . .

When you talk to the landlord, ask him to speak to the neighbor. Inform him that you already have and the neighbor promised to lower his noise, but that he hasn't. Discreetly tell the landlord he could probably use his power of ownership to entice the loud neighbor into lowering whatever creates noise.

While you have the listening landlord in your presence, suggest he install carpeting (if apartment has wood floors) or insulation between the floors, so tenants wouldn't have these noise problems. If you're having these problems, the other tenants are probably also.

If all those attempts fail, turn your music volume up, but not too loudly. You don't want a battle of the bands through walls. Just enough to let the neighbor understand what louder music sounds like to him.

HELP YOURSELF

If the others' help fails to lower the sounds of the rude neighbor, what can you do yourself?

A far-side idea is to install carpet remnants to the ceiling. But, of course, you'd have to check with landlord first! (Where was his hideout?)

Turn on your music, radio, or TV station and focus on that. Remind yourself to overlook other tenants' sounds. Life with interrupted noises is like that in many places, and one has to learn to overlook the noise and focus.

Turn on a fan or something to counterbalance the others' sounds. You'll be surprised at the how much another low sound can offset an annoying noise.

For a last resort, you might have to endure the remaining months on your lease and then move to a likeable apartment.

But check the noise level first from the corridors.

Learn more about this author, C M Hegberg.
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