by T Verhoff

Created on: April 15, 2008

Meet my friend Carissa. She's perfect. 23-years old. Wavy locks of honey-colored hair. Perfect skin. She's a casual beauty, someone whose smile could make the heart of Dr. Seuss' Grinch grow four times in size though Christmas was still underway. If she wanted travel, her boss sent her to a conference despite more deserving - - and less attractive - - employees. The world gave Carissa what she wanted. But that was 1995. Today, Carissa is in her mid-30s, feels frumpy from carrying an extra fifteen pounds, and has graying hair and three children. As you can imagine, Carissa remembers her 20s fondly but, admittedly, like it belonged to someone else.

And though it's unfair to others, we encounter an unyielding reality: more attractive people are associated with better qualities. They are thought to be smarter, more confident, interesting, organized, articulate... even more familiar (as CRAZY as that sounds), possibly "just like us." Accordingly, more attractive people are preferred in nearly any situation conceivable (as UGLY as that sounds). So it becomes: The desire to be attractive is not reserved for the vain. It includes people who simply wish to compete and be content with life.

To accept this notion - - that people getting neck lifts and liposuction can be modest and level-headed - - does not mean that you support the abundance of scrawny models and beautiful celebrities splashed on magazines and television. For clarity, in no way is it ever admirable to conspire to acquire J-Lo's behind or Angelina Jolie's lips. To the contrary, reasonable cosmetic surgery is:

~~ When someone wants to recover who they once were prior to an illness or accident.

~~ When someone wants to better a facial disfigurement such as neurofibromatosis or cleft palate.

~~ When a person has worked hard to lose a lot of weight and is being kept from enjoying his/her hard-won success because of excess skin (whose removal often requires surgery).

~~ When a person is not aging well, is losing desirable opportunities, and has exhausted alternatives to improve his/her appearance.

For less severe defects - - those that don't make other people rubberneck and stare rudely - - all feasible alternatives should be reviewed carefully, since cosmetic surgery is genuine risk to body and life. Today, the list of look-enhancing options is limited only by your imagination: dressing in a few new wardrobe pieces or an entirely new wardrobe; using hair extensions, hair coloring, shine-enhancing laminate, or new hairstyle; losing ten pounds; whitening teeth; using silicone bra inserts; wearing colored contacts or a smart new pair of eyeglasses; trying visible-lift, line-reducing skin foundation; or donning false eyelashes. Ultimately, to decide that cosmetic surgery is the best option, a person needs to declare alternatives - - singularly and in all combinations - - to be inadequate.

In a world that hinges success on appearance, many people have considered cosmetic surgery for themselves, often making it a "life-perfecting" instrument in their daydream. However, cosmetic surgery should be viewed as a serious endeavor with unclear results, and as a last option. Do your homework, be patient both with your analysis and in realizing results, and you might feel like my friend Carissa, who is feeling good about herself, with "new hair" and a rockin' new Friday night outfit.

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