by Meesha Meserole

Created on: April 15, 2008

The blackness falls over my eyes
I let it go too far again
Anger clouded my thoughts
A black thunderstorm of hatred
Now he appears in a circle of light
An ebony lake rippling silently around him
He's all I can see
His hideous, cracked face breaks into a grin
Like a decayed jack o' lantern
A voice echoes in the dark cavern of my mind
"Once more you fail.
"Your gift is also your curse.

"Control it."
The circle of light fades
I'm alone in the darkness

Tremors in the water frighten me
Fear of the unknown grips my chest
I'm in the lake
The steady pulsing of the water strengthens
Something powerful is coming
I'm frozen in the trembling surface of the lake
Now waves crash against me
Pushing me under
As the tentacle of some great leviathan closes around me
I know I'm going to drown in my own stupidity
I filled this black lake with my feelings
I created this monster with my mistakes
Water closes over my head
I let myself sink quickly, without a struggle

Suddenly I realize the darkness is lifting
I can see again
The one I hurt stares at me
She tried to lift me up to the light
To drive the demons from my soul
I failed her, like everyone else

Her whisper caresses my face
"What did I do wrong?"
Tears fill my eyes
She is so full of springtime
Sunshine
I want to follow her, to let her lead me
But I can't bear to leave the spirits in my mind
They force me to live every day
I owe them allegiance
Her eyes search me
Probing my soul
She turns away quickly
Shaking with suppressed sobs

I know she wants to help me
I want her to save me
But when she walks away, I stay
In anguish I crumble
I'm held back by voices
Telling me to be nice
Forcing me to push everyone away
They isolate me
A prison in my mind

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