by Jordan Sullivan

Created on: April 15, 2008

"dead ends"

what was it like to sleep with
your head on subway stairs and
your hair tangling with the days
unwashed
skin hugging around your bones
so tight it's hard to imagine
you ever being lonely

you rest your head now on anything
on windows, in the car, in your hands
with eyes of deeply set cobalt
that blink like moth flutters
just searching
for constants
other than collapsing veins
pleading red and purple forgiveness

my baby girl, you say
the way it felt when i first held you
kissed you on the small of your back,
your elbows and toes
this was my only whole moment
with your head resting on me
like i was sturdy enough to let you dream
on me and god
my laugh made you laugh and my
smile made you smile

but now, most days i can't remember
the last time i saw you
or if i can stop seeing you
as a tourist in my life
but we have years of bottles that hid
in closets and under beds
that you drank hollow long ago
and the beach is a few miles west
all you need is a cork and you can
let your battles float away

because i have and i don't know how
to restart the heart when
i put it to an end

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