If only I had that house, that body, that guy or that lifestyle boy, I'd be happy! Or if I could just nail that 6 meter u-turn with the correct friction point the inspector will pass me and I'll be ecstatic. We place so much emphasis on externals and blow-out our anxiety that we forget we have a great smile or the ability to walk and talk and look at the world around us. Some of us enjoy wearing luminescent socks, vibrant polka-dot pajamas or chuckle at a reticent tuxedo cat who adores climbing under blankets. We have the abilty to hold and savour a wonderfully sweet, warm cup of coffee or chew the refreshing ice in a cola slurpee.

I once had a friend at uni. who often dwelt on how miserable she was. She'd lament that she didn't have a guy, she wasn't blonde like Heather Locklear (whom she'd met) and wasn't from a monied family. Therefore, she arrived at the conclusion that future prospects were grim. She even played a game of I'm-worse-off-than-you. At times it was comical, because she was witty and it was 'hip' to hang out at the uni. bar and philosophize about life. No one thought anything of it. If she could only play guitar and join The Black-Eyed Peas life would be sweet. She had the best black ringlets and the widest, infectious smile in town. She also had the self assurance to tease lecturers and get away with it - a feat which takes subtle tact and finesse. She managed to blind herself by the inability to see every little good thing she had going for her. If she could simply appreciate what she had, it would have meant positive thoughts rolling onto positive, energized actions.

Despite attempts to illustrate her strengths and helpful community services - she was found dead in an inner city apartment, having overdosed on drugs. Tragically, I received a shocking phone call the next morning - after we'd been celebrating her 21st birthday and after she'd flippantly offered me a sum of money. She appeared quite tipsy at the time and we both laughed it off as some well intentioned joke, because her surprise party was already paid for. She slumped out of life suddenly, without showing overt signs of a serious deterioration or of being distraught to the point of suicide. Later that week her parent's questioned me through bleary eyes at the crematorium as I watched white smoke billowing from the tower.

I attempted to stay positive by being grateful for everything I had - fingers, toes, hands feet and the tenacity to continue nursing. On occasion I saw images of her in other girls and it took some time to adjust to the loss of not having her next to me in lectures. We owe the world a positive face along with grateful thoughts, in the hope that those around us don't spiral into negativity.

The secret to happiness is appreciating what you've got and accepting that you can't change certain events, know how to solve everything or turn back time. I believe calmness and acceptance does more than a pollyanna attitude, but it sure helps to smile..

Learn more about this author, Catherine Bruce.
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