by Lokemun Magar

Created on: April 15, 2008   Last Updated: March 07, 2009

What should our response be when dealing with children using foul language? Do we spare no rod and spoil no child? Do we get the children to repeat and write what they use millions of times over? Do we treat them with patience and repeatedly explain that what they are saying is bad language over and over to them?

Do we judge the intention of children who use foul language or do we deal with the foul language itself? Many a time, we miss the mark by scolding the children for using foul language, telling them that the language is unacceptable. Many a time we assume that they know the implication of the foul language they use but do they really?

Children who use foul language often do not understand the implications of the words they use. They know the foul language they spout is vulgar because others tell them that they are using vulgar language. Many a time, children use foul language to express anger, without truly meaning the words they mince out or understanding what they really mean.

Where do children pick up foul language? Most often, it is a role model close to their heart. It could be a parent or any adult that they come into close contact with. It could even be a favorite cartoon or movie character. Because they have the language used over and over again in their presence, they often do not realize that foul language slowly becomes a part of them, just as subconscious actions become part of our motion.

Children often fail to distinguish between good and evil because everything that their idol does must be the best or at least acceptable. Hence they emulate their idol's mannerisms and language, including the bad vocabulary which becomes cliches rather than words used with the intention that they actually bear.

Most children parrot their friends in actions, likes and speech, not so much for superiority but so that they can fit into the gang. Thus, if your child's playmates are using vulgarities, you child will likely pick up one or more words without realizing their implications.

Many a time, children spouting foul language are told to shut up and not use it. My niece even had her tongue polished with shoeshine when she spouted something she picked up somewhere. The possible outcome is that these children grow up knowing that certain language is bad and should not be used. On the other hand, they will secretly use it with their friends who find it acceptable or use it whenever they think that they are out of hearing.

Another way is to get the child to say it

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