Parents Unanimous

This is where you can share your knowledge about Dyspraxia

- what are the tell tale signs

- how to diagnose

- how to help kids with Dyspraxia

wear mini-skirts

wear tight tiny Tees

wear heavy make-up?

What are your biggest concerns about your teen?

I have gone through this three times, and going through the Tween stage now.

I have found in challenging, to say the least. I have dealt with drugs, outlandish behavior, and just plan sassyness.

I am engaged in writing for another website right now on the subject of Parenting Teens.

I am really interested to learn how others cope, and if it the same for all teens, or am I just a whimp?

http://www.helium.com/zones/preview/975

- you'll find about anything you need on ADHD here.

Follow this link for empty titles

http://www.helium.com/channels/688-Special-Needs?sort=seek

It's too early for Father's Day, but never too early for some praises and appreciation.

Be proud of your dads and write something here.

It's too early for Father's Day, but never too early for some praises and appreciation.

Be proud of your dads and write something here.

In today's society is it truely possible to have it all?

Full time student to improve children's lives, full time worker to provide for children, full time single mother can one truely have it all?

All expecting parents have great hopes for a happy healthy baby. What happens when your baby is not healthy. Parents go through an aray of emotions. Out of three children I had three very difficult pregnancies, deliveries, and two sick children. We are living proof that things can work out.

In today's society discipline seems a thing of the past. In the past children were taught to respect their elders and others because they represented the family whenever they went out. Today we have far less discipline and higher crime rate along with higher rates of assults committed by teens. I don't believe we need to beat the children, but a firmer hand by more parents is clearly called for. What are your thoughts?

I am a single mother of three children who was raised by a single mother until she became ill. Actually the kids basically raised ourselves. I never missed haveing a father because I hated mine. Now that I have children I am at a point that I am wondering how important fathers are. My son has recently began talking to his father at eight years old. My three month old son is spending a week at his grandmother's with his father. However, this is becoming difficult as they think they need to call the shots. I am curios as to how important this relationship really is. My eight year old has turned out just fine not having his father in his life.

Here we go again. My almost thirteen year old believes she is twenty-seven and in charge of everything. I here it only gets better. I've raised her to be independant... now it's a consent battle. It is a joy to see her grow, but it is begining to take a firm hand. Parenting a teen is going to be a true blessing in disguise.

When love of partners go  south life still goes on. It is a beautiful thing to see the world through the eyes of a child. It has been my pleasure to witness this in three fold. I have raised my children on my own most of their lives. I have had the pleasure of planning birthday parties, picking schools, and allowing extra curicular activities of my choosing. When my son decided he didn't like football a man may have made him stay. It was my right to tell him it was okay. However, I told him that the next sport he went into he must see through. We recently completed his second year of soccer. It has been wonderful being able to guide my children my way. They are three very beautiful, intelligent, and independent (with the exception of my three month old...lol) children.

Special needs can range from the mind, body, or chemical. Some would have called my childhood difficult. I call it a blessing in disguise. It has served me well and helped me deal with the special needs of my children. It has also led me to wanting to become a teacher and help those with specail needs. 

Hi everyone, I am new to this group,and new to Helium as well.

I have one child and she is 12 1/2.  She is the best thing that ever happened to me and such a blessing.  I admire how much she has evolved past me and now I know that I have done something right because of that! 

Everyone says, "Ugh, just wait until she's 13.  You won't be gushing then!"  Now, I understand all about teenage rebellion.  My monster years were from 16 to 18.  I made it very hard on my parents.  But does my history have to mean that my daughter will become a hellcat as well?  

Does anyone else out there love and appreciate their moody, hormonal, wonderfully adolescent kid like I love mine?  

-Lyn 

Anne Marie, 

I have a slightly different view point on this subject.  It might be because I myself was given up for adoption at the age of two.  I was then shuffled through two different foster homes and finally placed with my wonderful family when I was three years old.   

When I asked about my (biological) mother and father it was very hard for my mom.  She had to deal with a scared child that did not fully understand what was going on.  She said that my mother and father did not have the ability to take care of me. She handled the situation with grace and honesty.  My mother realized that I had been hurt enough.  

I agree that birth parents should not boast about being parents when they have not earned that title.  Every time that I look at my own daughter I also wonder how anyone can neglect or abuse a child.  I also am truly grateful for all of the lessons that my real mother (adoptive mother) bestowed up on me.   

I speak a lot about my mother in this statement however I must let it be known that my father was an amazing man.  He taught me so much about life. 

That being said, as a child I did often wonder about my biological parents and eventually I did meet them.  They were and still are very selfish people.  I am so grateful that they did not raise me.  My mom was right they definitely did not have the ability to take care of me.

Lisa and Anne Marie,

I agree and really respect your opinions and experiences. Both of you sound like wonderful mothers and I appreciate the lively discussion.

 I feel as a child that has been adopted closed adoptions are the best.  As an adoptive parent you do not have that time before the child is born to bond.  I also believe that the biological parents need to have a clear understanding that they are not the parents of the child.  This could be a breeding ground for confusion as the child gets older.  (Especially during the teenage years)

I do have some confusion on this matter because I think that if we stopped open adoptions all together, there would be more people deciding to raise children that they are not equipped to handle.

Jenni, your comment about bonding and adoptive parents/mothers isn't (obviously) one I'd disagree with, as far as having some opportunity to start forming some bond during pregnancy goes.  

Maybe my own thoughts on the matter are only because of my own history, but I have to say I wasn't all that bonded with the two babies I had myself before I had them.  I wanted them more than anything and cared about them and thought about them, but I felt like I didn't know them.  When each was born I did have a powerful urge to protect them, but each time I saw a new, strange, little face/person I knew I'd have to get to know.

When I first met my son (the adopted one) as an infant I felt pretty much the same kind of thing.  The difference was that I didn't have to try to get my mind around the idea that "there really was a baby in there, and here it is" with my eldest son.  :)

With a first (unsuccessful) pregnancy that ended in the second trimester, there was one time when I was worried about both the pregnancy and the adoption finalization running into a snag.  I wanted both children, but I had no doubt or question that if the adoption were not to go through it would be a whole lot more horrible for me (and absolutely horrible for my son) than if I lost the baby I was carrying and didn't know.

My younger son was born at 34 weeks.  It's said that mothers of premies sometimes have trouble bonding with them.  He wasn't all that premature, but I didn't notice anything different between bonding with him and bonding with my daughter.  With both of them, the bonding pretty much began at birth and continued to "grow" as time went on.  Maybe I just didn't allow myself to really bond with the unborn babies after I'd had the miscarriage; but, really, I think it was more that I just didn't know them until I met them.  It was all pretty much the same with my adopted son.    One difference between looking at him today (he's over 30) and at the two children I had myself (20's) is that I look at the two younger ones and still can't believe where they came from.  LOL   With my eldest son, that's not so hard to "get my head around".   LOL

Friend- For a short period of time both my children used one, but only for the first month or two. I decided that I was not going to be that mom who's child was three sucking on one. It iritates me to see children walking around with them in there mouths at those ages.

Hi Lynette, I'm new to the group too.

I have a family of 6 children. 16yo boy (stepson), 14yo boy (mine), 13yo boy (stepson) 11yo girl (mine), 10yo girl (stepdaughter) and 1yo girl (ours), and I am flat out!

I'm not really enjoying the male hormones in the house right now, nor the female lol, but having so many kids here fulltime allows you to watch them grow with all the little intricate details.

I wouldn't give up being a mum for all the world (well, maybe for the occasional evening).

I love them all to bits, whether they are mine or not, and right at this moment i have my 1 year old sound asleep in my arms. if only they could stay like this forever.

Jenna

Let me start by telling you I did foster Parenting for teenage girls for 8 years along with my two own teenagers at the same time.  I had the big time bad kids no one else wanted.  I had over 60 girls thru my home and loved every minute  of it. I will also tell you that you are NOT their friend, you are the parent. Too many parents try to be their childs friend, it doesn't work. Let them say they hate you, that they wish you would die, that they are going to run away. With the kids I had I have heard it all, seen it all and done just about everything there is to do with teenagers.

If you want to get it right "tell them the truth and make it stick." If you say they cannot do something, do not let them. If they say they hate you, just let it go, they will settle down. Do not let them be the one in control, the more you argue with them the more control they have. If you just shut up and stare at them, they will get so disgusted they will find someone else to threaten, its fun. Make it a game for yourself, when they start their stuff and shout at you do not respond, the game is "The first one who speaks is the lose." You will find they will do it less and less if you play that little game, ha ha and guess who the winner is .....YOU.

My son now in the sixth grade is not concentrating more on his subjects, which I am afraid he has no choice in india over subjects he likes,please tell me how to bring him back on track because if I say something he now retorts and gets angry.

Try not to worry, Deepa, because it's a symptom of his age alone, but do be proactive.  Here in the US our kids in 6th grade generally don't have choices about their classes either.

I've told mine that school is like their job right now, and there are things you might not like but too bad - just do it, get past it, and move on.

Boys, esp., seem to lose interest in school around 4th grade or so.  There are just so many other things going on - in the world, and in their heads!  Continue to talk to him, let him know the importance of school, and engage him in conversation about it - but in a casual manner, just throwing a few things out here and there instead of lecturing or being completely serious all the time.

thank you for the much needed advice, sometimes Iused to get angry but regretted it later,anyway I will try my best. I think this forum is great because people like me can get help from all over the world.

 I'm the mother of a nine year- old boy, and a two year-old girl.  The problem I'm having is getting my daughter to cooperate with me----at least 25 percent of the time that she is with me.  It seems that she is overly curious, and very mature for her age.  When she gets into the wrong things, I tapp her hand or spank her bottom.  The problem with this is that it doesn't phase her.  When she does something that she knows is wrong, she'll spank herself! However, she keeps on doing it.  What am I to do at this point?????

Janet Coppola

Hi Lynette,

Teen daughters really are quite amazing. Their mood swings and attitudes change like the weather, but that dosen't mean that they are not wonderful. They after all merely doing what we did at that age. Best way I found was by talking to them, letting them have friends round and getting to know their friends {very important} equally important, don't comment on their friends choice of clothes as they will only take it as critisism. Sometimes it's best to play dumb, you learn more along the way. Crafty but well worth it. Enjoy teenage daughter as I do, love her to bits and get along great. Shopping trips and girlie nights with chocolate biscuits are great for keeping a good relationship.. Have fun.

Janet

Here are some interesting Palm Sunday/Easter crafts you can do with your children.

http://www.helium.com/items/2127084-palm-sunday-craft-projects

My father was the man who raised me. He took me in when I needed him most and clothed me, fed me, and gave me love. He was, is and will always be the man that I measure every other man to. My husband is another wonderful man and father. I thank God for both of them.

I was adopted and my father chose to raise me like his own. I love him for it!

My father ask me what type attention that I wanted get with that type of outfit. Then he would proceed to tell me that I deserved better than the type of guy that I would attract wearing those types of clothing. 

He would express his dissappointment in the decision that I had made. Many times he would not even have to say a word. However the best thing that My dad ever did to deter me from wearing skimpy clothing was to tell how nice I looked when I wore a classy outfit. 

Click on this link to find new titles: http://www.helium.com/channels/688-Special-Needs?sort=seek

Do remember Helium's latest writing standards: http://help.helium.com/helium-writing-standards

Happy writing, and let me know what other special needs you would like me to research and churn out titles for you to write to.

Cheers

Mun

You've a smart dad, Jenni - one who never gives up. :)

I have two year old twin boys and a three year old daughter. I feel like I have triplet toddlers. I love to write because it makes me feel like my brain can break free of the sound of tiny voices chanting "Mommy" unceasingly throughout the day.

That; and typing on my laptop makes me look cool while I'm drinking my mocha at Starbucks. 

<a href="skeptimel.blogspot.com">-Melody Jane</a>

well every kid is different, we have 10 children and ive found that with some kids, you just cant spank them, cause they just dont care, sounds like you have one of those. i found a good alternative to spanking little ones for discipline is to simply make them sit still, it drives them crazy, and probably will you too until they get used to it as a punishment but once they get it, it seems to work quite well as  a deterent. for litttle kids, a  few minutes of sitting completely still feels like hours. just imagine how it feels to us when we wait for the dr at their office. other things that worked for me were taking away favorite toys, little ones forget what they are doing a lot faster than older kids but normally just taking an item away and steering them away from the items or situation causing the problem also helps as well as directing them towards alternative activities when they are getting in to stuff. hope this helps.

Coming from a single parent home and not having a father definitely impacted me while growing up. I feel that there is always going to be a point in a child's life where the question and yearning for a father will come up. Regardless of what many say. However, the best thing a single mother can offer her children when no father is actively involved or present are mentors. Girls need the affirmation and respect a good mentor can offer her. Even teach her how a boy should treat her. Boys need the proper modeling of what a grown man looks like in terms of proper behavior, advice and respect for women as well. There are more reasons why I feel its beneficial to have a father ( or a male mentor) present. For now, these are my two top reasons. 

In response to the main question of whether dads or moms cook better..... well, that depends. I know plenty of families, for whatever reason, where the dads are the better cooks. And before you know it, the sons follow in their steps as well.

Hi Raquel,

Agree with you anytime! In Chinese cooking, that's understandable because cooking with a hot wok over a blue fire is a feat I won't be able to undertake. In other kinds of cooking, I guess it's because when a man comes public with his cooking, his pride won't let his precision fail him, and he will do his best. :)

Hi everyone,

@Lyn I don't think all teenagers follow through with how we were when we were teens. Some of us who have been good during our teen years may have teens who might turn out very defiant. While some who have been so bad during their teens may have kids who aren't really rebellious but are in fact just getting by normally. Teenagers however are more likely to show respect for our views if we show them respect too and try not to be too critical. As they become adults, children need lots of support, encouragement and praise to build up their confidence and self esteem. Some of the troubled teens we have today often lack that confidence in themselves so they find solace in the company of those who appears to accept them for who they are. Unfortunately more often than not, from people who are bad influence. Here is a good read for parents with teens having low self confidence.

Lastly, it's probably not ideal that we expect to agree all the time instead let's try to understand their views and let them make their own choices if possible but still reminding them of their limits and the consequences of their actions.

It's great that you're not having a hard time with your daughter, you're probably doing the right approach on her so just keep it up.

miniskirts they may be justfashion but they say who you are or whou u want to be depending on how you walk in them.

Tight tees = fast

Having a teenager is rough, I mean  being rebellious is like a normal thing for them to do but we should also consider that there are limitations to the extent of them being free to do whatever they want. Specially when it comes to sex, drugs, alcohol, lying. Thats why we need to guide them but if its beyond our control there are professional people who could help us in the time of need.

- http://www.mytroubledteen.com/request-information/

I have a 13 year old son,  who I am homeschooling because of problems with placement in the school.  He is very high functioning.  He is an artist in his own right.  He loves to draw and make wood models and he paints.  It is better to look at the thing they can do and use those to help them understand and eventually do the things they can't.