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AuthorParenting Tips 101

Posted on Apr 08, 09 at 02:36 PM

Some of the toughest times of being a parent are just not covered in books your obstetrician gives or recommends to you.  So we reserve this forum to the free exchange of parental tips for conquering the greatest job you will ever love...parenting.

My favorite piece of advice to give young parents (this is not the age of the parent, but the age of the child) is:

Do not argue with a toddler.

While the first blush may be apparent, the underlying reasoning may not.  Toddlers are reincarnated when they turn 13.  Despite what medical science claims, toddlers do remember and turn terrible two into a cake walk when they are teens.

Arguing with a toddler undermines your authority.  Now, I am not saying "rule with an iron fist", but I am saying "be the adult". 

As long as the "argument" has a solid conclusion (No, I will not allow you to jump out of the tree because you will hurt yourself. No, I will not allow you to eat jelly beans for breakfast with Kool-aid in the bowl.), do not be swayed by wiles, cuteness, whining or tantrums.

When you argue, you validate toddler has a quasi-valid point in arguing.

Ann Marie

Lori Buttermark   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #1 on: Apr 13, 09 at 12:33 AM

I know this is a question for Dads, but I'm a single mom from a "once upon a time" marriage.  Stuff happens, but we survive and move forward. 

Through the years I sat my kid down and talked until I was blue in the face, while he developed "selective hearing":)   

What kids don't reveal is that our words of wisedom DO penetrate their boneheads on some level. 

My son was taught whether it be of a personal, professional or social nature (ladies included), beware of eye contact, the strong/weak handshake; always be true to yourself 'cause liars must have good memories; love and respect yourself, then others will do the same. You are judged by the company you keep. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

In my travels, I am blessed to receive the reapings of my "solo" parenting efforts. Compliments flow regarding my gentleman of a son. 

Don't be mislead, he has his moments and shortcomings like any other red-blooded offspring, but given the entire picture, he is living proof that nothing is impossible with patience and perserverance. 

They say Rome wasn't built in a day....I say it was: They brought sandwiches:)

Lokemun Magar   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #2 on: Apr 13, 09 at 09:49 AM

Hi Lori,

You're an inspiration to me a single mom with a ten year old boy. I've chosen to remain single again for religious reasons. 

Well-meaning friends have been trying to get me a second man. Sometimes I think perhaps for my son's welfare I might, yet when he says that I can only kiss female toddlers and no other guy but him, it's better if I don't.

My tip: always spend quality time to explain the whys and why nots. Even for the silliest sounding questions.  

Lori Buttermark   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #3 on: Apr 13, 09 at 07:16 PM

Hey Lokeman Magar:)

Thank you for your comment and I hope you see my reply as well. 

As for a second chance at love, you might want to wait on that score. Kids from "single-parenting" are vulnerable and have the need to soak up tons of affection.  If  you choose to date, be sure to introduce the gentleman to your little guy. Then ask your son's feedback. This way you are keeping him in the loop and he can begin to recognize and understand that he can share mommy and still have her to himself.

Relationships come and go, but our kids are forever and they WILL remember the good, the bad and the ugly.

Good luck and good news:)

Lori Buttermark   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #4 on: Apr 13, 09 at 07:17 PM

Ooops!  I apologize ...."Lokemun" 

Lokemun Magar   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #5 on: Apr 13, 09 at 10:06 PM

Hi Lori,

My name - I'm just Mun to make it easy to call (Mun as in rhymes with Sun, Run, Fun, Nun..:-) And don't worry about the Lokeman part. You may know a Lokman.:)

Your advice - You're so right about the second chance and at love and son thingy. I'm kept so happily busy at work, home and Helium that there's no time for a second chance even if I want. I've great former colleagues who have set the great example as you advised and they are so blissfully secondly married now - pardon my bad English.

Mun     

Lokemun Magar   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #6 on: Apr 13, 09 at 10:06 PM

Hi Lori,

My name - I'm just Mun to make it easy to call (Mun as in rhymes with Sun, Run, Fun, Nun..:-) And don't worry about the Lokeman part. You may know a Lokman.:)

Your advice - You're so right about the second chance and at love and son thingy. I'm kept so happily busy at work, home and Helium that there's no time for a second chance even if I want. I've great former colleagues who have set the great example as you advised and they are so blissfully secondly married now - pardon my bad English.

Mun     

Lori Buttermark   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #7 on: Apr 13, 09 at 11:25 PM

Hi Mun

I sent you an email via Betaville Zone, sharing my thoughts and ideas on raising that little guy. 

Enjoy your day - Chat soon:) 

 

 

Ann Marie Dwyer   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #8 on: Apr 16, 09 at 04:00 PM

Lori,

You just discovered one of the greatest assets of Groups.  Finding like-minded people to share ideas and help!

Hope you enjoy the rest of the forums!

Ann Marie

Lori Buttermark   

Re: Parenting Tips 101
Reply #9 on: Apr 16, 09 at 10:21 PM

Hi Anne Marie

Yes, the concept is being able to relate intelligently. I know what my speciality genres are; hence I subscribe to that particular Forum.

Thank you and have a gr8 day:)



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