Has the sacred character of marriage been lost?

Yes

1 of 37

by Cosmin Pascu

Write now Print Invite a writer™ Add to Favorites RSS Feed Contact this writer

We live in a world where values and principles which once were the hallmark not only of a nation but a universal view. Divorce is not anymore headline news but an option to open sex for everyone who chose the object sacred marriage. Of course there are many complex issues which contributed to this terrible act. Some have been abused emotionally, relationally or even sexually. In either case, there is a real obsession when one talks about divorce. Others have done more harm (the fundamentalist and the liberals) by their stupidity and by with their hard cardboard made only of black and white. These mutilators have generated hatred or pleasure for those involved in this natural disaster for any family

Divorce, a factor of dysfunctional relations

David Popenoe regrettably has to affirm that `there can be no doubt that the institution of marriage has continued to weaken in recent years. Whereas marriage was once the dominant and single acceptable form of living arrangement for couples and children, it is no longer. Today, there is more "family diversity"`[1] and where this takes place there is also a great warning of multiplying the number of dysfunctional families. It used to be said that divorce only takes place among the poor. However, numerous studies have proven that this is not the case. David says that `Today, more children are born out-of-wedlock (now almost four out of ten), and more are living in stepfamilies, with cohabiting but unmarried adults, or with a single parent. This means that more children each year are not living in families that include their own married, biological parents, which by all available empirical evidence is the gold standard for insuring optimal outcomes in a child's development`[2].

Whil e this is a real issue, a great premise is now being attributed to politics and mass media. We will focus first on the political game, where more political leaders become the campaigners for such matters.

Divorce, the political shame/game

It would be wrong to not think that politics affect lifestyle and even the values of a society, and in our case, a family affected by divorce and broken or distorted relationship. The `State Of Four Unions` magazine points out that `Less well known is the fact that the Red and Blue states also differ significantly in family terms, and this may help to explain their politics. The Red states typically have a more traditional family structure than the Blue States; people in the Red states marry younger and in larger numbers, cohabit outside of marriage less, and have more children. This is in large part because Red Staters are likely to be more religiously observant and to belong to denominations that profess allegiance to more conservative social values. However, the Red states also have higher divorce and out-of-wedlock birth rates than the Blue states, and these rates can hardly be considered indicators of traditionalism, much less religiosity. A closer look at the actual demographic differences among the states can help us to better understand the nature and causes of the Red/Blue American family divide.[3]

With such huge differences and Christian educations we seem to see that divorce is increasing rather than decreasing. ` The highest divorce rates are found in the more religiously- based Red states such as Arkansas (25), Oklahoma (25), and West Virginia (23), in striking contrast to more secular Blue states such as Pennsylvania (11), and Massachusetts (11).The national divorce rate was 16 divorces per 1000 married women in 2005`[4]. There are indeed studies that have proven this concern is not just related to politics but to the ongoing modification to culture. This is where the sacred values have been changed with cultural trends and attracting ping-pangs. The back pain, which sometimes led to suicide, has confirmed that improper standards displayed by politicians have contributed to the spread of the divorce factor. Education and income are the other political factors which increase the tension between families and the Government. Much needs to be changed in this area, as the transformations are known to come only through proper family setting. ` The picture is further complicated, however, by the fact that marriage, cohabitation, and unwed birth rates are so strongly affected by income and educational levels. In general, people with lower incomes and less education tend to marry less, cohabit more, and have more births out-of-wedlock. While professed traditional family values may help to generate fewer unwed births, they do not seem to provide much protection against divorce. ` [5]

Divorce, the most despised factor MEDIA

Values, absolute truth and biblical principals have been replaced with some celebrity's who have no idea what it means to have some moral judgment and a framework for family life. We are told to accept that culture is changing and we must change with it. Such statement is absurd and this because of the danger lay before us. If we are to accept that divorce is a cultural trend and a changing idea, then we have to associate to suicide or murder, which are both wrong. If there is a sacred marriage, then there must have been a proper framework set from the start, which before a changing culture, remain unchanged and unmodified. This results that we have departed from this original values and principals and directed our lives towards pleasure and chaos. Although, I think it is fair to stress that what people involved in a divorce or broken marriage face is a real shock to their system and life. If there is a hope in this is to simply return, if we believe and accept, to the sacred standard of biblical marriage. This might mean that we must get deeper into suffering in order to find real hope and meaning from such a mess. The biggest mess out of which we must first get out is following the stars which are wrong models for societies. It must start from this point and then it should continue within the family. It could not start from the centre of the community for there people will be subject to more dangerous criticism.

We conclude therefore that marriage in our world is a real concern for everyone. It has become a product of globalization to which the price tag for same is high and for others low. We have seen above that this phenomenon is deeply rooted within a dysfunctional system on the side of the family, the political arena and among the wrong celebrities model located within the media arena. We concluded that change will only come when family get serious and depart from following wrong models. Of course broken relationship must be first restored if anything good could come out of such a disaster. Finally there is no restoration if people do not return to the sacred or biblical understanding of marriage. It might be harsh but in this case this is the only true way, and we have mentioned that this will bring you hope once it is channelled properly through the right framework.

Sources

[1] David Papenoe The Future of Marriage, America, SOOU 2007, p6

[2] The Future of Marriage, America, SOOU 2007, p6

[3] The Future of Marriage, America, SOOU 2007, p 14

[4] The Future of Marriage, America, SOOU 2007, p 15

[5] The Future of Marriage, America, SOOU 2007, p 15

Read more here:

The State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in America 2007 .Annual report from the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The 2007 essay on "The Future of Marriage in America."

Stevenson, Betsey and Wolfers, Justin. Marriage and Divorce: Changes and Their Driving Forces. Cambridge, MA., National Bureau of Economic Research. NBER Working Paper 12944, March 2007.

Smith, Tom W. The Emerging 21st Century American Family. GSS Social Change Report No. 42. Chicago, University of Chicago National Opinion Research Center, 1999.

Generation Gap in Values, Behaviors: As Marriage and Parenthood Drift Apart, Public is Concerned About Social Impact . Pew Research Center Social & Demographic Trends Report.

Gender Roles in the '90s. Five-part Washington Post series based on polls conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University in 1997.

Learn more about this author, Cosmin Pascu.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.