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Has the sacred character of marriage been lost?
Results so far:
| Yes | 71% | 685 votes | Total: 970 votes | |
| No | 29% | 285 votes |
Yes
by Molly Carter
Created on: March 08, 2008
Marriage, as it is designed to be is an oath between two people, God, and spoken in front of family and friends to uphold and honor a union until death do you part. In marriage vows, you state in sickness and in health, for rich or for poorer that you will be true to each other. In happiness and sadness, you will honor the other.
Sadly, this covenant is not sacred anymore. Yes, there are people that uphold marriage vows, and yes there are so many valid reasons for divorce. Spousal abuse, neglect, and adultery are awful scenarios and who wouldn't want to fix the wrong in their life.
Marriages however break up over much more trivial matters. I think one of the biggest reasons marriages dissolve is because so many people think of divorce as an option. If things don't work out there is always divorce. Instead of thinking as marriage as the ultimate bond to another, it's like society views marriage as dating. If things don't work out, no biggie!
I think society has become extremely selfish. People expect to be taken care of, however they don't always do their part to take care of others. I'm saddened when people insist on public assistance then turn around and work jobs under the table and not pay back into the system for others who may be struggling. I get frustrated when I hear people complaining charity is not handed to them when they refuse to assist someone else.
Marriage can be much like our society. One spouse may have expectations of the other that they are not willing to submit to themselves. Is it fair to expect a husband to spend every holiday with his wife's family and not spend quality time with his? Is it fair to a woman to work a full time job yet still be responsible for chores and childcare because that is a traditional role? Is it fair to spend family money on extravagant purchases without discussing things with your spouse because "you deserve it?"
Marriages are centered around communication and a "we are in it for the long haul attitude." There will disagreements, arguments, and days where you don't like your spouse. On the upside there will be days were you are sublimely happy and giddy.
In the "old days" marriage was an institution where you stood by each other. In times of happiness, sadness, good and bad, you were by each other's side. So many people hit rough patches and want to escape, but what they don't understand is, that like in life, what doesn't kill you makes your stronger. The large issues you confront in your relationship, the closer your spouse and you will become.
Although I do not advocate staying with an abusive spouse or staying in a loveless marriage, I do suggest you think long and hard about what the vows are marriage entail. Instead of thinking of it as a convenient thing to do, or the next step in a relationship, really process what it means to be with someone and stand by someone through every experience in life. Marriage vows are sacred because, in theory, they should be eternal.
Learn more about this author, Molly Carter.
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No
by Don MacIver
Created on: March 03, 2008
Marital unification continues to be the choice of a large segment of coupled partners to a relationship today. Although there may be a growing segment of the population opting for a more "common law" type living arrangement there remains a substantial number of couples today who seal that loving union with a traditional and formalized wedding ceremony replete with vows of devotion and lifelong commitment forming the basis of their union.
The sacred character of marriage is deeply rooted in tradition, in the very moral fiber of early religious teachings and handed down through the generations. Examining whether the character of marriage has been lost rests with an individual's perception, and society's perception of current-day values and mores as opposed to those of past decades or centuries.
The passage of time brings about tremendous change to so many aspects of our lives, including how we choose to mate and unite along with the parameters that are set forth in conjunction with that union. One could quite easily conjecture that the character or institution of marriage has been relaxed to the extent that it is loosely formatted to suit current day preferences.
What impacts the perception of the character of marriage is the ever-changing values that society, with time, accepts as the norm of the day. The church has in many instances addressed and recognized some changes to the marital process, in procedural or practical terms through the generations. Accepted wedding vows have changed dramatically. The two partners to a marriage today are seen as having more balanced standing and obligations to the union and each other. In many cases the unified partners will choose a large segment of their vows in combination with traditional readings by the clergy.
Moral and ethical values have changed tremendously over the years. The various churches and their clergy have struggled with such changes, some highly divisive. Policy shifts have created considerable consternation amoung congregations too.
Marital ideology has long embraced the expectation that a wedded couple made a lifelong commitment to each other where fidelity and complete devotion was not only betrothed but an unbreakable and unconditional acceptance by both parties to the marriage, till death do they part.
Although an exception rather than the rule there are many couples to a marriage today that remain together a lifetime. Still, there are a growing number of couples who grow apart, bitterly or otherwise without sufficient answers to remedy their many conflicts. Lifestyles are chaotic in pace, both partners work, sometimes to the extent that they are but passing ships in the night with precious little time together to resolve differences effectively as they arise...and slowly drift apart.
Have we lost the character of marriage? Many would undoubtedly see things in that light. We live together with the lives that have shaped our thinking, our values, our convictions. We communicate, or fail to communicate through the means that we have learned, have observed, to the betterment or failing of our relationships with each other.
For those who are married today there remains deep belief and conviction for what that union means to them as a couple and to their families. Those convictions hold true as long as the marriage is not strained to the point of failing for whatever reasons.
Human beings change. Laws change. Society changes. The church changes. The sanctity of marriage evolves, and endures, over time yet the basic premise for marriage is upheld and embraced. The absolute form that marriage will take on as time passes will be characterized by the people, their governance and their church.
Learn more about this author, Don MacIver.
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