No

by Robin Tidwell

Created on: April 15, 2008   Last Updated: July 03, 2009

This has got to be one of the more ridiculous child-rearing techniques to ever be conceived, pardon the pun. Infants have no control over their elimination habits, and even if they did, this method requires another individual, an ambulatory one at the very least, in order to accomplish said elimination.

Potty training methods are highly controversial. Every parent has stories, and most parents probably used different routines for each child. Those who opt for "diaper free" are setting themselves up for disappointment and a very lengthy potty-training timetable.

Parents who choose this method are often into all sorts of nonsense - attachment parenting, co-sleeping, and the like. They claim these things are "natural" and "liberating" and result in improved self-esteem. They also frequently expound on the benefits of breastfeeding their children until the age of three or four and are proponents of the use of baby sign language.

Allow me to briefly touch upon these fallacies and misconceptions: attachment parenting can result in a completely child-focused family and exhausted parents; ditto for co-sleeping (not to mention the danger of suffocating one's child, but these parents assure everyone that their "special instinct" will prevent this); lengthy breastfeeding - again, an exhausted mother and forgive me, a preschooler who may develop serious oral-fixation issues; baby sign language may have some value, but frequently these children are only signing with regularity and understandability after age two, at which point they should be speaking anyway. This diaper-free movement is nothing but more hogwash to go along with all the rest.

A child should not be potty trained until he can walk. Why? Because a parent or other adult will have to take him to the bathroom anyway - or will a non-walker simply crawl in to his potty seat himself? Without supervision? Each of my children got a potty seat for their first birthday, and they were allowed to see it, to touch it, to become used to it and its intended purpose. When they showed interest in that purpose, I began sitting them on it at regular times; within a matter of a month or so they were using the potty seat fairly often. Yes, they still had accidents, or sometimes on-purposes. I praised them when they used the potty seat, but certainly didn't scold if they didn't. However, there is nothing wrong with letting a child know that accidents in one's pants are not a good thing. A child must develop a potty habit, as well as learn control of his body.

Apparently the diaper-free folks have no concern for hygiene or modesty, either, as it could certainly be argued that babies "trained" this way must surely make messes in every possible location. Running around half-naked is fine, too, if that's what one prefers, but in the real world this isn't allowed - everyone has to learn to deal with buttons and zippers and tabs and so forth.

A parent may go through a few extra diapers during potty training, what with diaper removal for false positives, or do a few extra loads of laundry. Any child, with the exception of those who truly have developmental delays, can be potty trained by the age of two, or two and a half for nighttime dryness. Too many parents today, perhaps those on the opposite end of the spectrum from the diaper-free folks, believe that a child should not be "rushed" and other drivel, and end up with a child who barely stays dry during their kindergarten class each day.

Potty training is not traumatic, and it is not confining. It is simply one more thing we teach our children in order to help them gain independence and become productive members of society. It is something that must be done, regardless, and the sooner this is accomplished, the better for parent and child - but this is the child's milestone, not the parents', and while waiting until the child is ready is admirable and good, too many parents simply don't recognize that time. These parents give potty training far more importance than it deserves; do they agonize over feeding a child? Or bathing him? Probably not. One simply allows the child to sit on the potty on a regular basis, and praises him when he actually uses it.

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