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Dating Dilemmas

Is there any biblical support for dating?

Results so far:

Yes
52% 80 votes Total: 153 votes
No
48% 73 votes
Yes

There isn't any direct biblical support for dating, however, there are principals regarding relationship between the sexes. Dating is for seeking a marriage mate. If you are having a close association with the opposite sex, what are your reasons? There could only be two, the Bible upholds the union of marriage, it does not uphold extra martial sex. It is specifically condemned and is referred to as fornication. 1st.Corinthians 6:9 classes fornicators with idolaters, adulterers, men who lie with men and men kept for unnatural purposes as well as greedy people, thieves, drunkards and extortioners. The scripture says these types of people will not inherit The Kingdom of God. The Bible does not forbid adults or teens from being together. It is best if one keeps their association in groups or at least with other people, where the possibility of normal desires will be kept under control. If you want to have dinner together, you might speak to one another on the phone and make arrangements to meet at a specific place and a specific time. This works well for adults as well as young people. You might meet one another at the park, at a public place, where there are other people around, and the library. You could meet at the theater, go jogging, hiking, boating, football games and the list goes on and on. There are so many things you can do, except nestled together on a dark moon light night, with romantic music, and lit candles. Leave these things for engagement and marriage. You will be so happy to present yourself to your husband, and the husband to his wife, as chaste and clean before God. To some this may sound old-fashioned and out of date, remember, God's Word has not changed since the beginning of time. It has been and always be the same. It will never be out of date. again I emphasize, these are principals, stemming from Divine Commands. Maybe, I should have said, no, the Bible does not support dating. That would have been incorrect, because it does not speak against it. Once again, I get back to the principals surrounding relationships between two people. Once you have been with a person long enough to consider them for a marriage mate and there is an engagement, then you might consider dating, this is the way you will learn the person well enough for marriage. Remember, being the humans, that we are, being alone creates arousal and desires which are hard to fight, therefore it is advisable to keep being alone to a minimum. Further proof that dating was not common in bible times, comes from the first people created, that of Adam and Eve. Our Creator made Adam and then he took a rib from his side, with this He created Eve. God said it wasn't good for Adam to live alone so he created a help mate for him. Adam did not pursue Eve. Eve was taken to Adam by God. In the early christian era, heads of the household, which was the father, selected prospective grooms for the bride, most times the bride never saw the groom until the wedding day, when she was brought to him for the ceremonial wedding and feast. There again, is further proof, the bible does not speak about dating. It is giving us principals to follow. It does not speak against it, however, it does give exact directions relating to marriage. The Bible cannot give us dos' and don't for everything we should do or not do. It does give a principal, that will answer any question you will have as to whether the practice is right or wrong. We are particularly cognizant of young people. They are vulnerable, they do not have the same strength and forbidding that we adults do. They are prey for the adversary, who is the devil. We have to be ever mindful of where they are and what they are doing. Another thing is their association. Peer pressure is almost as bad as the natural desires. Not one of them wants to be called chicken, and they will give in, just to keep the kids from snickering and flapping their wings, like a chicken. Keep on top of what they are doing. Talk with them, keep the lines of communication open. Let them know you love them. Tell them so,"words are a dime a dozen" show them you love them. Teach them about Gods Word, It doesn't have to be religion, the Bible is full of practical advice for everyday living. These are the things that should be hit hard, because it is vital for you child to know and have great respect for what our God has to say. His ways are not burdensome and in the long run, it is the easier way. In conclusion,I would like to give one further evidence from the Bible showing that intercourse before marriage is forbidden.It is found at Deuteronomy 22: 13-21. When the bride was taken into the nuptial chamber, a garment was taken in so that the marks of the blood, of her virginity would give her protection in the event she was charged with lack of virginity, otherwise, she could be stoned to death for having given herself in marriage as a spotless virgin. The practice of keeping the cloth has continued among some peoples in the Middle East until recent times.

Learn more about this author, Sally Thornton.
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No

There is no Biblical support-or condemnation-of the practice of dating, just as there is no specific condemnation or approbation of a host of modern practices, such as smoking, watching television, or driving a car, none of which were in existence when the Bible was written. However, one need not go too far to find all of those practices roundly condemned by people who claim to have Biblical authority for their views. The same is certainly true of dating.

The practice of dating as we understand it is of very recent origin, and reflects a societal change in attitude toward young adults and the responsibilities and authority of parents. In Biblical times, marriages were generally arranged, as Isaac's and Rebekkah's, Jacob's and Rachel's, and Esau's to the daughters of Ishmael (See Genesis chapters 24-29). The concepts of children as property and parental authority as absolute are clear especially throughout the Old Testament. While New Testament Christianity elevated the position of women in general, it makes no change in the relationship between husband and wife or children and parents, other than requiring the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), an obligation that was never placed on the Old Testament husband.

Christianity in its various forms came to dominate Europe and the New World, and thus the attitudes of parents toward children remained largely unchanged for the two thousand years following the writing of the Bible. (While this is a discussion of Biblical support for dating, it is relevant to mention that the concept of arranged marriage is not solely Biblical, but is or has been practiced in nearly every society in the world. Don't place the blame on the Bible, OK?) As early as the beginning of the twentieth century, European and American practice, while moving away from strictly arranged marriages, still stressed the authority of the parents. Young people of marriageable age were never alone without a chaperone, and socializing involved larger groups under the watchful eye of responsible adults.

The process known as "courting" seems to have been the norm at this time, in which a young man would ask permission to visit at the home of a young woman, and young people and parents would spend time together, getting to know one another, thus determining the suitability of each for the other. I have a friend who insists that this alone is the Biblical way of preparing for marriage, but he has yet to provide a Scripture to back it up.

It appears that dating as we know it came to be acceptable after the First World War. We who were not alive at that time cannot comprehend the societal upheaval that the war, the teaching of evolution and humanism, and rationalism in the interpretation of the Bible brought to European and American society. Everything changed. Swept up in the chaos of that time was the family unit. "How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm," the song said, "after they've seen Paree?" How indeed. America became mobile. Radio and movies introduce mores completely foreign to the largely agrarian society of the 20's. Parental authority declined, and a hitherto unknown creature, the teenager, emerged.

Prior to this time, children simply passed into adulthood, with a religious ritual such as a bar mitzvah, or by marrying and starting out on one's own. But teenagers were neither children nor adults, a very confusing thing for parents. Dating began as a recognition of the more-than-child status of the teen, requiring no commitment on the part of the less-than-adult.

Dating, then is a modern phenomenon, and thus not specifically supported by the Bible. However, the things that happen on a date do bear Scriptural scrutiny. The Bible is very clear in its condemnation of lust, adultery, drunkenness, and many other things that unsupervised, hormone-charged young people find thrust upon them. Are you enough of an adult to date and not sin? Are you mature enough to understand that actions have consequences, and to accept responsibility for your decisions? The Bible is silent on dating, but I'll bet your parents have an opinion.

Learn more about this author, Richard Johnson.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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