Bad

by Tammy Lee White

Created on: March 04, 2008

"Holy Mary Mother of God!" my four year old repeated after watching the movie The Goonies' for movie night last month. Did I freak out? Did I hide all the movies with any kind of violence or adult content? No. I explained to my child that not all words or sayings he hears are acceptable for him to be using. Isn't that what parenting is all about? Teaching your children right from wrong and about the world we live in?

You should be able to trust your kids to follow your house rules on what are acceptable shows for them to be watching. I also don't agree with over-censoring your children's choices on what to watch. It shelters them from the real world instead of educating them about it. Instead of saying "No" when a child asks to watch an adult show why not take advantage of inappropriate things they see on television and discuss them with your child? If an actor is smoking you can use it as an opportunity to share your views on the subject or answer any questions your child may have.

Children see and hear unacceptable things all around them, not just from television. When I was a child visiting my grandparents was a testament to that. They smoked like chimneys, drank all the time and used profanity every second word. They even owned a budgie that swore, saying @$!*%$ clock every time it chimed. Thankfully my parents never sheltered me from seeing them and I'm a better person because of it. Monkey see monkey do is not always the case. A lot of it has to do with a parent's attitude and whether they have made it clear to their children what they expect of them.

I know parents who only let their kids have access to children's programming channels like the "Youth Network". What if your child had a choice of channels and found something they were really passionate about? Like watching curling, music videos or stand up comedy? Didn't Jim Carey do his first stand up act at the age of 14? What if your child developed a passion for music videos and decides to be a choreographer? As a parent we can't know what our children's likes and dislikes will be as they grow up. They are not carbon copies of ourselves and we should be careful not to influence them too much in any direction. I wouldn't want my child to become a doctor just because I never gave them any other options.

When I was in grade three my favorite books were written by Steven King and my favorite movies were Aliens' and Poltergeist'. By letting me choose more adult literature my parents helped improve and foster my love for reading. I still enjoy a good horror movie today. Did I ever have nightmares? Occasionally. It's amazing how a parent's attitude can determine whether the child will be scared by a situation. If you are always told "You can't watch that, it'll give you nightmares!" it probably will. Haven't you ever heard of the power of suggestion? I had a friend back in elementary school that had to sit with my mother in a different room at my birthday party because the movie we were watching was too scary for her. Did the fact that she became terrified in the first thirty seconds of the movie have anything to do with the fact her parents told her she would when they dropped her off? I'm guessing it might have influenced her behavior a little. This girl would actually get nightmares from watching Scooby Doo. I haven't seen her since grade school and often wonder if she was able to outgrow her fears.

In my opinion using the parental control on your television is taking the easy way out instead of teaching your children to be responsible for their own actions. It is for parents who can't take the time to check up on what their kids are doing each day. If you don't over-sensor your kids shows when you are home you know what they'll be watching when you're not around. Answer their questions, explain to them what acceptable behavior is and use the television as a discussion board or educational tool. Lastly, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Learn more about this author, Tammy Lee White.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.