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RSS FeedShould parents teach children how to drink alcohol responsibly or maintain a no-use policy at home?
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| At home | 53% | 626 votes | Total: 1175 votes | |
| No-use | 47% | 549 votes |
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Add to FavoritesIn deciding whether to teach your children how to drink alcohol responsibly or maintain a no-use policy at home, it is first important to know the law, and above all, know your child.
In Europe and many other parts of the world, it is perfectly legal for minors to drink alcoholic beverages. In fact, in countries like France and Italy, it is traditional to offer the kiddies a glass of wine at the family table...beer in Germany! Not so, in the United States where serving alcoholic beverages to minors is punishable by law. Personally, I don't think that is fair. Nonetheless, it is a reality that U.S. citizens face.
Many families of Italian-American heritage choose to carry on in favor of tradition, and serve their youngsters the occasional glass of vino or an aperitif with dinner. In my own French Canadian descent family, I was always allowed a generous sip at family gatherings. Many families I know, of varied cultural backgrounds will gladly pour out an ample amount of champagne to teens at weddings, on Holidays and other celebrational occasions. I see nothing wrong with this.
Nonetheless, parents need to consider their children's nature and temperament before proposing they join in a toast! Are they likely to brag in school the next day about how you allowed them to drink? Remember, children will often exaggerate to impress or shock their friends. Your children could get you into hot water very easily that way!
Also, if there is a history of alcoholism in the family, you should think twice before introducing your child to alcoholic beverages. Alcoholism is hereditary and if your child were to take too much of a liking to liquor, would he or she be mature enough or have the willpower to practice temperance? Many children have been known to sneak frequent sips from their parents' and neighbor's liquor cabinets and end up with full-blown drinking problems by age thirteen or younger!
If your child has a low sugar tolerance or an excessive sweet tooth, remember that alcohol is very high in sugar content. Often folks who incessantly crave sweets will also have a tendency to over-indulge in liquor. Sugar addiction and alcohol addiction can have a lot in common.
It is certainly much better for youngsters to become first acquainted with drinking in the privacy and safety of their own home, with a responsible adult present, rather than experimenting with drinking in the presence of unchaperoned peers. At home, you can set the example of how to know one's limits on alcohol intake, how to conduct one's self when under the influence, and you can stress the importance of never drinking on an empty stomach, providing lots of nutritious foods before, after and during imbibing.
I think that one of the most important lessons you can teach about drinking alcohol, is that drinking should not be approached as a means to get drunk. The civilized drinking of spirits in good company is a social experience that calls for good manners, good will, and a large measure of responsible behavior. No one likes a drunk!
Parents, if you decide to maintain a strict no-use policy at home, I encourage you to remember the lure of "forbidden fruit" and the natural inclination of teenagers to experiment on their own. With this in mind, I urge you to keep communication lines open between you and your children, and help them to realize that they can tell you anything without excessive fear of repercussion. If your child does engage in drinking without your permission, please show enough compassion to assure that you are not the enemy! Be a good listener. That is often what teens want most, and if they are assured that you are a good listener, they are more likely to listen to you in turn! They are then more likely to heed your rules, or at least respect your point of view. It is important for youngsters to feel they can confide in their parents, and if they do experiment with drink on their own, it won't degrade into a dark family secret!
Learn more about this author, Violet Fortune.
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No-use
Some parents of teenagers would rather teach their teens how to drink responsibility by allowing them to drink alcohol at home. I am quite the opposite in my thinking, as I do not even think it is wise to keep alcohol in the home unless it is locked up tight where they will not be tempted.
Many teenagers drink alcohol that is a fact, they want to try it out, simply because they know it is forbidden by their age and it is an adult thing. There are steep fines here in Pennsylvania for underage drinking of alcohol as well as for those adults who furnish alcohol to minors. It would seem that that would be enough of a deterrent to curb underage drinking but it is not.
There was a teenage party at my house when I was working last summer, and I did not know about it until the police officer knocked on my front door and told me. He told me the party had occurred in my basement, which I hardly go down there and so he and I went down there. Lo and behold, we found all the evidence he was looking for, and my son was later arrested for underage drinking along with four of his friends, the adult who bought them alcohol was also fined 1,000 and got probation for a year. Did the fines curb my sons drinking habits? He and his friends just learned to hide their parties better, and drink where they were invited, so fines did not help deter them from drinking.
The police officers know my stand on drinking as I have been very vocal about my ex husband's drinking while he was in the home, and they know that is part of the reason he no longer lives here. The police officers locally are also aware that I worked the twelve-hour weekend shifts back then and was working when the party occurred, so I was not deemed responsible in any way, which was nice.
My ex-husband, whose ideas on drinking alcohol differ widely from my own, simply told my son to hide the drinking from me and other adults. He said he knew it was against the law for the teens to drink but he knew they would drink anyways so why try to stop it. My thoughts are like this it is illegal for them to rob a bank as well, or smoke pot, is it okay for them to do those things as long as they do not get caught?
Parenting teenagers is hard enough but when you got one parent giving the teenagers bad advice about illegal activities, it makes it that much harder to parent a teenager. This is why as much as I complain about having to do all the parenting of our children, I am glad as I know I am not offering illegal advice.
Do not get me wrong I do partake in the occasional the alcoholic drink, but there is no alcohol in my home. The last drink I had was Friday night and I asked my sixteen year old if he minded if I bought it before I drank. Why did I ask my son if I could drink, I know some of you are asking? I asked him because he is important to me, and if I having one drink were going to embarrass him, I would not have done it. I drank one white Russian that night, not enough by any means to get drunk but just to enjoy my supper and that was enough for me, and it did teach him to be responsible.
My children like other children around the nation who have had an alcoholic parent living with them are at a higher risk of becoming an alcoholic. I do not want my children to grow up to be an alcoholic like their father, they see his legal troubles in the paper, I would rather they see responsible drinking. If I choose not to drink around them at all, they would see alcohol as a horrid thing, and that is not a message I want to share either.
Drinking alcohol is an adult thing, and we should not hide it from our children, but it should not be taught to those teenagers as if it is something every adult does. Moderation is the key to drinking alcohol and one drink once in awhile is not hurting anything.
That was the first time I had even drank alcohol in front of my children, and no I do not think it was a bad thing. I showed them that one is very acceptable to drink, and you did not need to drink a ton to have fun. They already know I can have fun by not drinking alcohol, and thought my method will draw criticisms from those people who do not drink at all, I stand by my conviction that having one drink once in a while is perfectly acceptable.
We cannot teach our teenagers that alcohol can be bad if we hide it away as if it does not exist, or drink away from them yet show them drunken behavior, but if we choose to have one alcoholic drink in front of them, it teaches responsibility.
Learn more about this author, Amy Jo Browne.
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