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RSS FeedShould parents teach children how to drink alcohol responsibly or maintain a no-use policy at home?
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| At home | 53% | 627 votes | Total: 1176 votes | |
| No-use | 47% | 549 votes |
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Add to FavoritesConsuming alcohol, and the responsibilities that arise from it, are just one of several controversial topics around that inevitably falls into the hands of parenting. Just this word alone can evoke memoirs of an alcoholic struggling with addictions, loved ones lost to drunk drivers, or emotional disconnection with friends and family. Alcohol use around children, and how it can have adverse/inverse effects on them, strongly depends on the environment and morals in which families decide to live.
Children have a strong sense of intuition, and can interpret things for the good or bad fairly well. They are gifted in the sense that, if a couple is arguing, they either vocally speak up asking them to stop, or go completely silent. Just as they sense something is wrong in this case, so would be the same if they were to witness the constant use of alcohol, and the difference it could make in the characteristics of their parents. Alcohol use that is prevalent inside a home has crossed the boundary of teaching the child how to drink responsibly.
Families who choose not to serve or drink alcohol in their household will probably have the most explaining to do with their children. This situation can branch out into two categories: one being the responsibility on the child to learn and understand the reasoning from their parents, or they may choose not to listen, and get talked into drinking through curiosity or peer pressure with friends. The largest factor here is confusion between rights and beliefs set out by the parents of how much alcohol, or even any at all, is appropriate. Children should feel comfortable in telling their parents about places or parties they have gone to with their friends where alcohol was present. In saying this, homes that maintain a no-use policy of alcohol may impact the overall decisions and outcomes with the child in a negative way.
Eliminating these two instances leaves the household that consumes alcohol on a social basis as the last option. If drinking alcohol on a social basis, it is best to offer your child at no younger than 16 a sip, with no pressure involved. By offering alcohol on the odd occasion, and explaining the impacts it can have on people, it makes the child aware and less prone to succumb to peer pressure at college/university or parties. It is the understanding of things that causes us to make clear and mature choices.
Learn more about this author, Melissa Werkema.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No-use
Let's face it, teenagers will eventually engage in underage drinking. Any parent
thinking otherwise is conveniently lying to themselves. Allowing them to do so in
your home however is illegal, and morally wrong. So how does a parent address this
issue?
The intelligent parent, the one who can still recall all the things they
themselves did as teenagers, will be better equipped to addressing this dilemma before
it arises.
First, a parent needs to sit their teenager down, preferably when the teenager
is in a good mood and might actually listen to what the parent has to say. Pick
the right moment.
My rules were a strict curfew. Even five minutes late, and you did not get to
go anywhere for an entire week. Ten, two weeks. Sounds strict but is entirely
reasonable. Most teenagers, will abide by this rule.
Rule number two was, if you drink stay where you are do not ride with other
drinking people. Call home, even if past curfew and agree to pick them up no
matter what hour of the night no questions, no judgments. It's important they
understand that although you are against them drinking you also understand
the situation will come up . They need to know they can depend on you if the
need arises. The last thing you want is a call from life flight. Trust me it's
not a good feeling.
Developing a clear understanding with your teenager, understanding they are
in actuality no longer children, but young adults with opinions and explorations
to make, will help both you and your teenager.
Having your child get a manslaughter DUI is not only heartbreaking but
nerve wracking and no one wants to go through that scenario. One of my children
ended up there which was indeed a travesty. My other two children, fortunately
obeyed and respected my rules, and many times my daughter would call me for her
ride home. Other times we worked out an agreement with the other parents approval
and she would stay overnight.
Making no judgments works well, and most teenagers drink less than you
imagine they will. Fortunately for my own sanity my child that had the DUI
manslaughter was already living on their own and was married at the time.
Teenagers need to know they can trust their parents, we have to guide
them into becoming responsible adults. We need to let them know that every
choice we make has a consequence. Calling home when your drunk, unable to
drive should not be punishable but recommended and commended. Praise them
them after they recover from their hangover for trusting you enough to make
that call.
To this day I have a great relationship with my adult children and am
very proud to say that they do not engage in excessive drinking. They are
occasional social drinkers, and for that I am truly grateful.
I hope this article is helpful and wish everyone raising a teenager
this day and age the best of luck.
Learn more about this author, Astrid Hicks.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
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