No-use

by TBAcademics

Created on: April 19, 2008

Children need boundaries. Children need structure. Children need credible information, and positive examples of responsible behavior, in order to later make good choices. Children DO NOT need experimentation, simply because in this day and age, the risks are too dangerous. First and foremost, it's important to clarify semantics. If there is, supposedly, a "responsible" way for children to consume alcohol, would this translate into teaching your child "casual drinking"? As far as I know drinking alcohol irresponsibly is called abuse. "No-use" is simply zero tolerance, in this case, for illegal activity. Bear in mind that a minor cannot purchase alcohol, and there's a reason for this. Alcohol is a drug. As adults, it is important that in an effort to show openness, friendliness and tolerance towards our children, we don't compromise ethics and morality, in the process.

Model healthy choices for your child. With a birds eye view, as a teacher in the public school system, and perhaps, more authoritatively, the daughter of an alcoholic parent, I contend that any adolescent who would drink liquor irresponsibly isn't doing so, because they are ignorant of a right or wrong way to do it. Peer pressure deems a teenager's fundamental family values, and in many cases, common sense, obsolete- null and void, anyway. If a parent's objective is educating a child on the perils of drinking too much, the parent has sabotaged his/her own agenda once the child consumes the first sip. One sip of any drug is too much, much like one puff of a blunt (dope, weed, chronic, marijuana). For medically sound reasons, even a drag off a cigarette could have profoundly adverse affects on a child, considering every child's neurological and physiological chemistry is different. These are foreign substances, or better said, DRUGS, we're discussing. These chemicals do not create a healthy, tolerant introduction to every person's body. Besides, if the child is tempted to go overboard to impress his/her social circle, this will be done with all deliberateness, because the agenda is not to be responsible for the sake of parental approval. The agenda, parents forget, is peer acceptance and applause; therefore, the more reckless and overly-indulgent, the "cooler," the better the teen becomes.

Should parents teach their kids how to smoke weed responsibly? For those that would draw a distinction between marijuana and gin, vodka, champagne, wine or tequila, I would argue this smacks of a bit of superiority. Drinkers, in an effort to justify their own indulgence, may imagine there's a hierarchy when it comes to partaking in a drink. There is a level for the casual, recreational drinker, the fine, formal occasional sipper, to the downright drunk. There's really no point. Whether you're drinking to get a buzz, or simply as a means of politeness and etiquette, the fact remains that your reasons for drinking don't change the product! Alcohol is a chemical, and your body will not fail to be affected by even the least amount introduced to it.

You cannot have a realistically intelligent conversation on discipline versus leniency with children and choices without factoring in hormones. Children, throughout their adolescence, right up through the extent of their teen years, are still undergoing brain growth and development. The arctic region of the brain, which is responsible for rationalizing long-term consequences, and foreseeing what adults refer to as "the big picture," has not reached its full growth potential; in other words, because it is the very last region, neurologically, to reach full maturity, there is, technically, no such thing as teaching a child how to drink, with boundaries. By the time the child is old enough to understand that they cannot purchase alcohol or cigarettes or other products that adults can, the child does have the cognitive ability to understand the reason for this, whether they like it, or agree with it. Once a child believes that a parent has failed to provide the safety and structure they so desperately need in order to see alternatives to their peer's choices, it is too late to rationalize the adult's means to an end. The lines have blurred and the child now perceives the parent as more "friend," and yes, tolerant. Unfortunately, these types of parents are rudely awakened when their kids consider them equals, first, and may even accuse them of being hypocrites, when Mom and Dad eventually try to pull the reigns in.

Long story short, let a kid be a kid, for heaven's sake. Teach your child to read. Teach your child to excel athletically, and eat nutritionally and responsibly to ward off hazards of obesity, one of the number one increasing epidemics within their age group. But, don't teach your kid how to drink; on the other hand, how about teaching our society's children to think? And unimpaired thinking is the safest way to make any choice, irregardless of the nature of it.

Home is where the heart is. Home is where we discover wholesomeness, or should. That is why so many adult children return, and continue to return, even with grandchildren. Once the world and all of its outside influences has it's way with us, home is where we find those foundational, core family values like love, loyalty, sound work ethics and clean living. In due time, children will grow into the imperfect adults they will inevitably become, as we all did. Whatever choices they make, contributing to those imperfections, are choices they have a right to, and realistically, can't avoid. Exposing your child to alcohol consumption is not an aboveboard parenting measure; to the contrary, educating your child about the benefits of eating and drinking for optimal health is more purposeful. Combining information of what is right along with what they could potentially be tempted with, is enough exposure for most kids. It is the taboo or "hush-hush" method that has a converse impact, and compels them, out of curiosity, to experiment with what they think they've been missing. But, there's not much to miss if your parents have an open, honest channel of communication in the household.

There is just "no-usefulness" in throwing caution to the wind. Generally, over the course of their lifetime, a kid will have a number of friends. This is not the case, having only two, or perhaps, just one... parent. A child should have at least one place he/she can go to get back to what is normal.

And none of us were born giving a toast, or with a can of beer in our hands.

Learn more about this author, TBAcademics.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.