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| Girls | 38% | 308 votes | Total: 802 votes | |
| Boys | 62% | 494 votes |
Girls
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Add to FavoritesThe word "easy" has never been in my parenting vocabulary. Being a parent, in all situations and circumstances, is hard work. Parenting also brings satisfaction, happiness, fulfillment and a myriad of other joyful benefits too numerous to list.
That being said, I must tell you truthfully, raising girls is easier than raising boys. I speak with no prejudice, for I have children of both sexes. For me, it was easier to raise daughters because I have a frame of reference. I was a daughter, a girl, a sister and I understood firsthand what was going on in each stage of my daughters' growing up years.
Not so with my son; it was all guesswork. I hadn't been there and done that. Perhaps there was some quirky benefit for my son, because I gave much conscious thought to every detail of his upbringing. I could never assume, presume, guess or take for granted what was going on. I did more worrying and second guessing in relationship to raising my son than I ever had to do with my daughters. Here are the differences as I perceived them:
* Girls talk, whine and cry. One almost never has to ask what is wrong with girls. They are only too happy to tell and retell every real and imagined grievance. Boys tend to keep their emotions under cover and a parent has to be more vigilant to recognize when a son's life is not working.
* Girls will shop with you until you both drop. Boys are little men; they are not entertained or amused by shopping. They just want to get what they need and get out of the store. Girls will try on items and prance around for the entire mall to observe and appreciate. Boys have a phobia about store dressings rooms, so there is much purchase and return involved.
* Girls are joiners. With almost no encouragement, they will be begging for dance lessons, gymnastics, cheerleading; any activity which puts them center stage. Boys are more likely to need coaxing and guidance to participate.
* Girls gossip, cannot keep secrets and often brag, so one does not have to wonder or speculate about what is going on in their lives. It is all laid out with enthusiasm. Boys, on the other hand, are less talkative, more secretive and more modest. If one wants to know detail, much prompting, prodding and prying is necessary.
* All children are moody at some point. When girls are moody, they act out publicly. Boys hide out in their room. It is difficult to be supportive and sympathetic to a non presence. When a girl is asked "What is wrong?" she will talk your ears off. The same question to a boy elicits the dead end response "Nothing". With girls, one just has to be a good listener. With boys, one must also be a mind reader.
All other components to parenting girls and boys are equal in my book. Food, shelter and clothing are all equally required and equally expensive. Love and nurturing must be administered in equal portions. The need for discipline is dictated by the rules and standards of the family, so no inequality there. The sex of the child does not enter into the teaching of morals, values and socially acceptable behavior. Education requirements and goals are the same for both girls and boys. In the big picture of parenting, girls and boys present an equal challenge. It is in the minute details the differences become apparent. Girls are familiar territory and therefore easier to raise. Boys are an unknown entity and require more thoughtful consideration in that respect.
Now if you query my children's father on the same debate, I have no doubt he would take the opposing view. Is it easier to raise girls or boys? It depends on whom you ask.
Learn more about this author, Carol Gioia.
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Boys
Raising a child, boy or girl, is an accomplishment for which any parent should receive numerous accolades. I raised a daughter, and a son during the late seventies well throughout the wrap-up of the nineties. My daughter and son were like night and day in almost every way, and these differences had nothing to do with being a boy or a girl. This said I still have to admit raising my son at least felt easier.
Today, I see no difference between my individual children and their personalities, nothing that would indicate I raised either of them in any specific manner. I doted, I encouraged, I nurtured, and I educated to the best of my ability, showing no partiality, or so I thought, to whether either child was of a specific gender. I suppose I should say, in all honesty, "I attempted" to show no partiality toward either child based on their gender. Truthfully, as with all good intentions, there are generational and societal patterns ingrained in all of us. I noticed often how easy one could slip into gender-related conversations, or actions.
As a female, I imagine one would believe it would be easier to relate to and raise a daughter. Gender, it turns out, did not create raising a daughter easier for me. I was both a feminine, dreamy creature growing up, comfortable being daddy's little girl and momma's little helper, and just as comfortable playing in the mud with the boys, and climbing trees and fences, playing with cars and trucks and pretending to be a pirate or a spy. I liked standing on a chair in the kitchen with my mother learning to cook and wash dishes. My father's "manly" attempts at fixing things and mowing the yard, all mesmerizing, and I did learn how to do these things for myself, simply by watching; there were limits as to what I was allowed to do.
Both my son and daughter received the same "training" in all the basic areas, as had I. Passing on what I was taught, and throwing in a lot of what I'd learned as I grew into an adult from outside sources and influences, infusing what I considered to be the best way to raise my children, and not simply pass on what my parents taught me. I wanted both of my children to feel comfortable in the myriad of roles and tasks life would have in store for them, and not label them as male or female. I knew big changes were coming in the future and long before the debates over whether or not girls received the same education as boys in math and sciences, I wanted both of my children to have an equal shot. In some areas, I believe I succeeded, and again, there were those generational and societal images, which the general population it seems, still find hard to shake, where I feel I may have attempted a few things a bit differently.
I look back and see how easy it was to allow my son to come and go at a much earlier age than my daughter. They were close in age, not quite two years apart, though somehow, my son's maleness, his stocky build, these minor attributes seemed to encourage a looser hold of apron strings. I feared less for his safety as he rode his bike, wandered off to play in the countryside with neighbors, and take off to spend the night with his friends. My daughter, who exhibited many tomboy characteristics, was still a girl, always small and petite for her age, offered a fictitious justification to react using more caution, and to allow harboring more worry, because she was female. Good intentions did not stand in the way of becoming guilty of the very anti-gender biasing to which I thought I would never succumb to in my parenting.
Raising a boy was definitely easier, all the puzzle pieces for his life were set down in the pavement, and adding some variety to an already made plate was not difficult. Raising a daughter, on the other hand, was a challenge, and I can still see those challenges today, some thirty years later, as my daughter raises three girls of her own.
Learn more about this author, KBJohnson.
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