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Is it easier to raise girls or boys?
Results so far:
| Girls | 42% | 498 votes | Total: 1175 votes | |
| Boys | 58% | 677 votes |
Girls
by Carol Gioia
Created on: August 25, 2007 Last Updated: March 21, 2008
The word "easy" has never been in my parenting vocabulary. Being a parent, in all situations and circumstances, is hard work. Parenting also brings satisfaction, happiness, fulfillment and a myriad of other joyful benefits too numerous to list.
That being said, I must tell you truthfully, raising girls is easier than raising boys. I speak with no prejudice, for I have children of both sexes. For me, it was easier to raise daughters because I have a frame of reference. I was a daughter, a girl, a sister and I understood firsthand what was going on in each stage of my daughters' growing up years.
Not so with my son; it was all guesswork. I hadn't been there and done that. Perhaps there was some quirky benefit for my son, because I gave much conscious thought to every detail of his upbringing. I could never assume, presume, guess or take for granted what was going on. I did more worrying and second guessing in relationship to raising my son than I ever had to do with my daughters. Here are the differences as I perceived them:
* Girls talk, whine and cry. One almost never has to ask what is wrong with girls. They are only too happy to tell and retell every real and imagined grievance. Boys tend to keep their emotions under cover and a parent has to be more vigilant to recognize when a son's life is not working.
* Girls will shop with you until you both drop. Boys are little men; they are not entertained or amused by shopping. They just want to get what they need and get out of the store. Girls will try on items and prance around for the entire mall to observe and appreciate. Boys have a phobia about store dressings rooms, so there is much purchase and return involved.
* Girls are joiners. With almost no encouragement, they will be begging for dance lessons, gymnastics, cheerleading; any activity which puts them center stage. Boys are more likely to need coaxing and guidance to participate.
* Girls gossip, cannot keep secrets and often brag, so one does not have to wonder or speculate about what is going on in their lives. It is all laid out with enthusiasm. Boys, on the other hand, are less talkative, more secretive and more modest. If one wants to know detail, much prompting, prodding and prying is necessary.
* All children are moody at some point. When girls are moody, they act out publicly. Boys hide out in their room. It is difficult to be supportive and sympathetic to a non presence. When a girl is asked "What is wrong?" she will talk your ears off. The same question to a boy elicits the dead end response "Nothing". With girls, one just has to be a good listener. With boys, one must also be a mind reader.
All other components to parenting girls and boys are equal in my book. Food, shelter and clothing are all equally required and equally expensive. Love and nurturing must be administered in equal portions. The need for discipline is dictated by the rules and standards of the family, so no inequality there. The sex of the child does not enter into the teaching of morals, values and socially acceptable behavior. Education requirements and goals are the same for both girls and boys. In the big picture of parenting, girls and boys present an equal challenge. It is in the minute details the differences become apparent. Girls are familiar territory and therefore easier to raise. Boys are an unknown entity and require more thoughtful consideration in that respect.
Now if you query my children's father on the same debate, I have no doubt he would take the opposing view. Is it easier to raise girls or boys? It depends on whom you ask.
Learn more about this author, Carol Gioia.
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Boys
by Dawn Dibartolo
Created on: June 18, 2008
Ok, let me just say this: emotional, attention-hungry beings that they are, girls require a lot of your time, creativity, patience, and mental stamina (in order to constantly out-smart them). Boys, in comparison, are a breeze! "Sugar and spice and everything nice" Yes, there's that, but there's also hormones and bras and periods and hair dye and perms andoh my, the list is endless!
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my heartshe was my first child. Her birth was the catalyst for my becoming me. I have always told her that she taught me how to love. Before her, I was alone and confused, lost in a world I felt cared nothing for me. At 19 years old, I was a child having a child. My daughter propelled me beyond "self" into a world outside my own pain; and I love her unconditionally. But Jesus help me, that girl is and always has been some work!
It all started when I was pregnant. I gained sixty-four pounds with my daughter. SIXTY-FOUR pounds of baby weight is not fun! And she was so tiny and wrinkly when she was bornI was amazed, and instantly in love.
When she was a newborn, she cried and cried non-stop, until I myself, having exhausted every method in the book on how to make her stop crying, was in tears. Once I became a crumbling, bumbling heap of tear-stained mess, she almost always, quieted down and fell asleep peacefully. When she was a toddler and she didn't get her way, she threw screaming fits for hours. Her little eyes would get all puffy, her nose turned a shade of Rudolph, and her breathing became that syncopated huffing catch in her chest. When she still didn't get her way, she napped.
As a young girl, she and her friends roamed the neighborhood, barking at each other like dogs, and giggling uncontrollablyat nothing. Granted, at the onset of her younger years, we did nails together, did hair and played dress up. I do miss those days. However, now she's a teenager. Sixteen, to be exact. God help me! My daughter has become this mass of hormonal energy that can smile and laugh with you as quick (and as often) as she can amass this ball or fiery rage and chuck it at you like a bomb. She is opinionated and strong-willed (just like her mother), and has the venomous tongue of a league of serpents. She is all-knowing, all-seeing, and omnipotent. She is Queen without a kingdomso she'll make everyone around her, her subjects. And she is the most beautiful being I have ever known, because she's my child and I love her.
I also have two boys. With them, I was truly blessed. For one thing, I gained significantly less baby weight with each of them. They were beautifully sweet babies that slept through the night early on, and played well by themselves. My eldest son is now a straight A student, hates to get in trouble, does what is asked of him, and chooses his friends wisely. My youngest is a bit more rambunctious, but easily reigned in when warranted.
They are bright, tempered, and understanding creatures, that still recognize my authority as mother. And I am immensely thankful.
Children, in general, are a gift from God. I believe this. It is a challenge to inspire each completely individual being into becoming intelligent, vital and useful humans. I was blessed with three challenges. Being the disciplinarian is hard for me, and I think my children know this and exploit it. But girls, specifically teenage girls, by nature, push and stretch every imaginable limitand giggle accordingly. As if watching mom pull her hair from her head and foam at the mouth amuses them. But what can you do? They are children, and as such, bring into a parent's life as much angst as they do joy. Asserting my authority has proven difficult, especially with my daughter, but also rewarding. Like my boys, she is truly a good person, inside. She's smart, she's funny, she's strong, and she's beautiful. For whatever small part I've played in developing this breathtaking person, I am honored. Of all my many challenges in life, my greatest accomplishment is Mom.
Learn more about this author, Dawn Dibartolo.
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