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Should teens be given a curfew by parents?

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Yes
66% 2489 votes Total: 3779 votes
No
34% 1290 votes

Yes

by Just Be

Created on: March 20, 2008

Curfews are an integral part of growing up. Speaking from personal experience, having a curfew was more of a guideline than it was a timeline. Almost every choice a parent makes with regard to their child or children sets a tone that will either create or dissolve trust, patience, structure and discipline. All children need to develop these these things, which come largely from guidance, protection and being given a sense of direction. We look to our parents and elders for this.

While it can be argued that it is our very nature to defy rules and regulations and be "free," without these said rules and regulations we fall prey to the danger of living a life of chaos and disorder. The importance of discipline cannot be stressed enough. It is something that we require in almost every aspect of life, all of our lives. Those who are disciplined are more likely to do better in school, and then follow that with a career rather than a job. While children, especially teens and "tweens," are more often defiant where rules are concerned than not, they do want and need them.

All people crave structure, and most need a leader - which is why, initially, religion and politics caught on so quickly. People need something, or someone, to follow and to believe in. We, as adults, may dislike the rules and regulations that are imposed upon us, but without them our lives would be disastrous. We may not like speed limits, stop signs and traffic lights, but we know if we don't obey them we stand to pay a price. It is this knowing overall that keeps us in line and, therefore, keeps a certain order in society. Most of us who drive have, if nothing else, driven faster than the posted speed limit, but we did so knowing we could get caught and fined for doing so at any moment, so speeding is never as free of a feeling as we'd like for it to be. Curfews are this way. When I was a teenager and broke my curfew, it always put somewhat of a damper on the remainder of my evening. There was always that uneasy feeling of knowing I might get caught sneaking in the house after my time slot, which inevitably happened, and I would get reprimanded and/or would lose my rights to a night out with my friends the next time around. And I would "hate" my father for doing this to me, until I one day realized I was doing it to myself and realized I wanted and needed these rules, this structure, this discipline. I was learning to take ownership of my behavior and how it affected my life and those around me. I then started setting a tone for my friends, and this is how life works.

Our elders create rules because they understand they create a necessary order of things. It can only be our hope then that our children ultimately understand them as well and pass them on to their friends as a means of leading by example, which is a statement I use weekly. "Lead by example," period. Set curfews and enforce them in a responsible manner. Let your children know, without threatening them, that if they do not get home before their curfew they will be disciplined, like taking out the garbage for a week, washing the cars or doing the dishes for a week, all of which they should be doing anyway to create good habits.

It is only a matter of time before children grow up and realize the importance of time and attendance and how it relates to life. Being "on time" becomes an integral part of our daily lives for the majority of our lives, whether it be for school, work, appointments, interviews, family gatherings. In addition to knowing your child is safe when they show up at the time they are told to, they are learning responsibility and the importance of showing up on time. A curfew is one of the things that teaches this. Communicate that to them regularly if they defy you, and trust that they will someday understand it.

Just as it is necessary for us to create a walkable path for our children to follow, it is also necessary for them to walk off of that path from time to time and go their own way in order to display their individuality. Let them. Allow your children to be who they are - whether that means coloring their hair purple for a few weeks or months, wearing black, painting the walls of their bedroom electric blue, whatever it is. It is for us to create boundaries that will keep them safe and create the aforementioned discipline and structure, as curfews do. If they show up on time but then feel a need to defy you in some other way, such as coloring their hair purple to show you they are still in control of their lives regardless of their need to follow your "stupid rules," which is a healthy display of individuality, be thankful knowing that they are respecting your wishes and are secretly asking you to accept theirs as well. Our children are counting on us to teach them discipline and structure and will one day thank you for creating it in their lives, just as they will most assuredly wish you had if you don't.

Learn more about this author, Just Be.
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No

by Stephanie Costello

Created on: November 19, 2007

Curfew laws have been in place since I was a child. Are they effective? Most cities agree they are very effective. Are curfew laws fair? Not only are they unfair; they are unconstitutional and violate the rights of our kids and their parents.

I live in a quaint little desert town with a teen population who is bored beyond tears. The city refuses to allow any kind of youth center or all ages pool hall/arcade where young people can gather for safe fellowship. As a result, our town is over teeming with under aged drinkers and drug users; and yes, juvenile offenders. Our town strictly enforces a curfew for teens under 18 in an effort to curb the wild bunches and cut down on juvenile crime. I haven't seen any indication of its effectiveness; but since I'm not involved in law enforcement or on the city council, I wouldn't pay more than the usual attention. What I can tell you is this: Nobody wins when the positive results are gained from a law having a negative impact on the citizens whose first amendment rights are being violated in favor of it. Which, in effect is nearly everyone of all ages by some degree.

In the case of juvenile curfew, the end does not justify the means. Curfew is discriminatory, prejudicial, and based on negative stereotypes. This law also takes a parents right to raise children as they see fit, away from them and gives it to state and government authorities. I cannot even send my daughter to the store if I am unable to go at night because the curfew law gives the police "probable cause" and she could be subjected to cruel and unnecessary harassment. Not to mention the fact that even the stores will not allow a youth to make a purchase for any reason, after 10 PM. If that isn't the height of stupidity, I surely don't know what is. I can't help but wonder how a teen mother can cope with these limitations. Or how a chronically ill parent gets along when she cannot even send her son to the store for medicine after 10 PM in an emergency.

A child who is 16 can drive a motor vehicle. He or she can become a parent, or obtain birth control much younger than that, if need be. A pregnant teen even has the right to obtain an abortion without parental knowledge or consent. He can also be tried for murder as an adult at any age if the crime is particularly heinous. Now with all of this; I am supposed to believe that it's logical to impose a curfew on kids who, in all other aspects of life are being given the privilege of adults? And by the way, in case you're wondering, I also do not agree with the drinking age limit. If a person can fight and die for his country at the age of 18; he should damn well be able to sit next to his countryman and enjoy a beer. But I digress.

The curfew laws are offensive to my sensibilities and those of my children. I have two teenagers who are amazing. They have never been in trouble. Therefore, why should they have to relinquish their rights to move about freely in society simply on an assumption: That all teens, when given enough time and space will commit crimes. Some cities claim that juvenile crime has dropped since curfew laws went into effect. Others report that the only thing curfew has changed is the hours in which youth crimes take place and there is no true reduction in crimes by teens. Either way, the curfew law is based on age discrimination. If anyone enacted a law that singled out a particular group of people, and that law limited their right to move about because they were black for example, or physically challenged, or of a particular religion the outcry would resound world wide. Why then are we so quick to allow law makers to impose a law that treats our own children like the scum of the earth; and we parents as though we're too ignorant to raise our kids? One might argue that the reduction of youth crimes is reason enough. But if you're going to use that logic; then why not impose a curfew on the whole town? Isn't it worth giving up our constitutional rights if it means fewer murders, rapes and robberies? Think of the money we could save on law enforcement needs, court costs, prison and jail housing. Of course you don't find this to be a tasteful solution any more than I do. But that's my whole point. What kind of message are we sending to our young people about how we value them? Curfew is not for their own good; it's for ours-the adults.

The logic behind a curfew is that the less free time teens are allowed, the less likely they will be to commit a crime. The problem with this line of thinking is that anyone who commits a crime, no matter what his age likely does so because he is morally bankrupt; not because he has too much time on his hands. By curbing all kids under 18, whether they have ever been arrested before or not, we devalue them. We set them up for failure because we've already demonstrated that they cannot be trusted. We believe absolutely and without exception that each and every one of them is a criminal and that the only thing preventing them from proving it to us is the law. Surely an intelligent society such as ours can come up with a more positive deterrent than a violation of our constitutional rights. A law I might add, that in itself is unlawful because it promotes criminal behaviors such as discrimination, stereotyping and bullying, by the very people paid to protect and serve us. It's no wonder our young ones have no respect for the law or its officials. And let's be realistic. It doesn't matter what time your kids come home; if they want to do something naughty they will do it! Instead of drinking a few beers and having sex at midnight; they'll do it at 8 PM. Parents are fools if they believe that time constraints make one bit of difference in the behavior of their children.

I'm particularly angry because the punishment of a curfew is also imposed upon me. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I often do not feel well and cannot sleep. I need to be able to send my kids to the store for aspirin, or something to drink. I'd like to be able to send them to a late movie so I can have peace and quiet; or privacy. I'm also angry that our children are being treated like criminals. What difference does it make if my 17 year old is out after 10 as long as she isn't breaking the law? Why should the police waste their time and our tax money running down curfew breakers for being out too late; turning them into criminals because they broke the unrealistic curfew law! I know where my kids are; and that's all that should matter. I'm their mother. I know them best of all. If I trust them, there's no reason for anyone else not to.

Instead of imposing a curfew on the masses; this tool should be used on those youths who have already proved their criminal tendencies. One of the reasons cited for curfew is that it gives the police an excuse (probable cause) to stop teens and question and search them. But isn't this a form of profiling? I shudder at the thought of what we will come up with next. One thing is for sure; if lawmakers are so concerned with the safety and well being of police officers; they will stop turning our trusting children into cop hating adults. Unconstitutional curfew laws single our children out, making them fearful and resentful. It is also very disconcerting to have an officer bring your child home late at night. The only time this happened to me, I nearly had a heart attack. My daughter was 14 at the time. There was a problem with the plans she and her friends had made to stay at one's house. So my daughter and another friend began walking home instead. The girls weren't doing anything wrong; but they were breaking curfew trying to get to my house. The officer banged on my door with his billy club and shoved my kid through it when I opened up. He then went on to berate me as a mother. He wouldn't listen to my daughter's explanation for being out late or my contention that as far as I was last informed; they would be sleeping over somewhere else. I wanted to smack that cop right in the face. I didn't even know there was a curfew until that night. All in all, the whole scene could have been avoided. If we want our citizens to respect the law; we have to give them laws they can respect.

Learn more about this author, Stephanie Costello.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.


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