Parents

by Barbara Stanley

Created on: April 24, 2011   Last Updated: December 04, 2011

Babies come into the world without knowledge of right and wrong behavior. Infants begin learning as soon as crying brings food, comforting, or entertainment. As babies grow, the learning happens at increasing speeds. Babies learn that hitting or biting other babies will bring unpleasantness. Although each infant comes into the world with his own personality and temperament, how to control his actions is learned behavior taught by parents, grandparents, and caregivers.

Babies do not know the concept of being selfish, they just know that they want something even if another child is in possession of it. It is the parent's responsibility to teach the child how to share and how to properly interact with others.

When children are heard telling their parents what to buy them and being demanding inside a grocery or department store, other parents automatically know who is in control in that house. Parents give in to a child's demands when they feel guilty for having to work long hours. Most parents, especially mothers, try to make up for not spending more time with their children by giving them things. While a child might enjoy having new toys and clothes frequently, what she really desires is attention from her mom and dad.

If a child gets attention from behaving badly, a child will behave badly. Any attention is better than none. Bad behavior is also taught to children by parents who behave badly. Parents who use vulgar language and drink alcoholic beverages in front of their children are essentially saying that there is nothing wrong with doing these things. Children watch how their parents treat others. They hear things their parents say about others. These children grow up believing they can say and do whatever feels good to them and not have to consider the rights of others.

Their are millions of parents who behave badly in front of their children. There are parents who steal from stores in front of their children, some who even get their children to help steal. Some parents are habitual liars who teach their children that lying is something that is okay to do. Parents who beat their children and do strange things, such as locking them in closets for punishment or make them clean their own vomit when they are sick, teach their children that cruelty to others gives them all the power.

Some would think that once children grew up, the way they behave is the fault of no one except themselves. The young and growing mind of a child is shaped and formed in the early years. Even though the child may not like what is done to him, he knows no other way to act except what has been hard-wired into his brain.

There are many mentally ill and ill-equipped parents who should be nowhere near a child, but they raise children that are abused and neglected. The mind of a child is fragile. It only knows what it sees, hears, smells or tastes. Children pushed to perform acts that they should never be exposed to often break down under pressure. The misbehavior or acting out is a cry for help - a cry for rescue.

When a child is seen bullying another child, he probably has at least one parent who is a bully. If a child does mean things to other children, he probably has had these things done to him by a parent. Children who verbally attack other kids probably gets verbally attacked at home. It is the rare child who badly misbehaves that was not taught this behavior by a parent.

Of course, all children will test limits, push boundaries and screw up on occasion. This is a part of growing up and accepting responsibility for their own actions. The child who misbehaves all the time really does not know another way to behave. He has been greatly influenced by parents who never acted to correct the bad behavior or by parents who modeled the bad behavior to begin with.

Loving parents use daily activities to teach proper behavior and to model their expectations for their children. Parents who take time to discipline out of love and not out of anger will have children who respect others. Watching a child who is polite, respectful and good-mannered will tell others by their behavior that they were taught well by their parents. Every child reflects the upbringing she has had and the influence of family.

Because a child has no moral compass of his own, he only knows what he is taught. He learns his values and ethics from his parents. Attitudes about all matters in life are learned from parents. Children also learn from what isn't taught at home. As a child gets older, she begins to form her own ideas about what is and isn't acceptable behavior in public and at home. These ideas will always be based upon what her parents taught her as she was growing up.

Children who go to school and murder their classmates may have learned behavior traits from parents who were not actively teaching their children, but were living lives that were immoral, criminal, biased, prejudiced, or any combination of the four. Parents who leave their teen children to find their own sense of proper behavior are people with no clue how to raise a child.

All children want to push the boundaries, but the parents must set boundaries. Discipline must be maintained regularly to be effective. Children need to know what the punishment is for acting in a particular manner. At no time does a parent have the right to say that he or she is not responsible for the behavior of his child. A child will behave according to the way he was taught to behave or the way he learned to behave through watching his parents interact with family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

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