Is it appropriate for gay couples to adopt children?

Yes

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by Carol Gioia

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Is it appropriate in this affluent society for children by the hundreds of thousands to languish in understaffed orphanages and group homes? Might they be better off in a two parent family; aren't two mothers or two fathers better than a life with no parents?

To be a good parent, one must be loving, kind, selfless and empathetic. A good parent must be able to provide the basic necessities of food, clothing and shelter. He/she must be capable of instilling moral values, providing educational opportunities, and fulfilling emotional needs throughout all stages of development during the child's upbringing.

Any person who can meet this criteria will be an appropriate parent regardless of sexual orientation. To suggest otherwise is blatant discrimination and an affront to gender equality. The qualities intrinsic to good parenting are not dependent on specific gender. Two fathers, or two mothers, can provide what a child needs as well as a traditional couple, if all parenting skills, moral integrity and financial and emotional guidelines are met.

There are some considerations for same sex partners to weigh carefully before undertaking the responsibility of raising a family. These same deliberations must be evaluated by single parents and traditional parents as well.

* Role Models

It is imperative to insure your child of the opposite sex has appropriate role models. There will, of course, be teachers, coaches and clergy in the course of the child's schooling and outside activities, but that is not sufficient. It is important to have extended family, or close, loving friends of the same sex interacting with the child in order to provide a frame of reference, and perhaps even a mentor.

* Outside Activities

All childen need a social life appropriate, and in proportion to their age. Insure your child will be well rounded with participation in activities and specific interests geared to his age and ability. This is another opportunity to incorporate additonal positive role models into your child's life.

* Communication

All families need to have open and honest communication. It is even more important with single parent and same sex parent families. Discussions geared to the age of the child about why there are two mommies or two daddies, or no mommy or no daddy, will insure your child will feel confident about his family situation and enable him to shrug off insensitive comments by thoughtless people, which inevitably occur in any situation where there is a difference from the norm.

* Unconditional Love

This should be a "no brainer" for same sex parents who, perhaps, have experienced the anguish of not receiving total acceptance at some point in their own lives. Your child should always feel secure to pursue any lifestyle he chooses and have the confidence you will love and accept him and his life decisions.

In reality, all parents would do well to take the above listed considerations to heart in regard to their own children. There are no special rules or qualifications for one particular segment of society. Children from traditional families, blended families, single parent families and same sex families have equal needs, and all parents must conscientiously meet those needs to be "good parents."

The time has come for our society to practice total acceptance of all its members. There are many persons desiring to parent, and many, many children hungering for parents. Bringing these entities together is a win-win situation.

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