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RSS FeedKissing up to your boss is a must if you want to get ahead
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| Agree | 27% | 396 votes | Total: 1449 votes | |
| Disagree | 73% | 1053 votes |
Agree
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Add to FavoritesFace it - being good at your job might look like you're "kissing up".
I am not voting for the "Agree" side of this debate because I think unabashed cowtowing is a great way to get ahead in business.
I'm saying that you have to be unafraid of having your peers telling you that you're "kissing up" - even if you are not. If you have peers who are competing with you, and you gain your boss's favor, you might have to take their jeering, criticism and childish brown-nosing remarks in stride.
TRUTH TO TELL
The best way to deal with a micro-managing supervisor is to keep him or her 100% informed of the status of your projects. Offer information, rather than having it dragged from you kicking and screaming.
Take responsibility for your mistakes. The instant you make them. 'Fess up with a big "MY BAD!" right away. Apologize, and try to suggest solutions and ways to fix the problem. If possible, provide a timeline. This helps your boss, because then they aren't blind-sided when they have answer for your mistake. Believe it or not - most of the time they will actually cover for you.
This helps them learn to trust that you are going to be honest with them, and to respect you as a valuable contributor to their team. Once this trust is established, you will find that you get to pick and choose the information you provide.
Having a boss trust you is a great way to get ahead - you get stretch goals, special assignments, and hauled into meetings for face time with muckymucks. You will succeed along this road, and even if you are merely doing your job well, those who are jealous will call you the boss's pet.
This full-frontal information baring is something I've made my "style" since I began working in Corporate America. I don't care if I'm talking to an executive six levels above me, I'm going to state my opinion for whatever it's worth. I have been called both ballsy and shameless. Behind closed doors my supervisor (and his supervisor) know me to be one who will talk straight and tell it like it is.
I don't rat out my friends or anything like that. But if my opinion is asked, I give it without mincing words. This gets me called a kiss-up.
I will tell a boss to their face they can't manage their way out of a box, and this still gets me called a kiss-up. Why? Because all my peers can see is that I am treated differently than they are.
BECAUSE 'NICE' MATTERS
I'm not one to waste a lot of time chit-chatting about the weekend, or gossiping over the water cooler about last night's reality TV. That's just not my style.
I've had to learn that it is what other people's personalities sometimes demand. Some people just want to have a certain amount of personal time with one another to establish relationships outside of the project underway. So, I force myself to slow down and take this time with everyone. I consider it a part of my job each day to greet and chat with coworkers who need to build rapport.
What I'm doing is learning to adapt to the needs of other people's personality types. This is a skill that teaches you how to build a team without blind spots, to appreciate the individual talents of people you might not otherwise understand, and to cooperate with others on a larger scale. All of which are social skills that lead to bigger and better things in an office work environment.
Skills which will invariably garner you the name "kiss-up".
STICKS AND STONES
You must not care what your peers are saying about you if you want to get ahead. What you must learn to do is be trustworthy, accept personal accountability and maintain a level of professional interpersonal skills.
If this ends up getting you called a kiss-up?
Just think about that when you're their boss.
Learn more about this author, Joyful Lili.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Disagree
Kissing up to the boss is not a new concept by any stretch of the imagination. It's been perpetuated for centuries. What's even more unfortunate now is how it's still viewed as one of the necessary acceptable behaviors that is encouraged to advance your career.
Why is this so accepted in our workplace as typical behavior? It screams of how low a person's self-esteem is. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned hard work that is recognized and encouraged verses who's better at brown nosing than the next employee?
Not only does it scream that an employee lacks self-esteem, but it announces to the rest of the company that a boss who participates in this same "admiration" lacks the skills necessary to circumvent management or even leadership skills that squelch this as acceptable behavior.
Our society is very goal orientated. We move and advance quickly and expect the same of those around us. Promotions are obtainable to those that work hard and possess the proper skills. If advancement only comes because you're kissing up to the boss, than what have you really gained?
Let's put into perspective what it truly costs when kissing up to the boss is all you're familiar with. Often what one thinks of as gaining, in reality is nothing but a loss they haven't had to face the consequences for.
Respect
No matter the skills you possess, if you've lowered your standards by kissing up as a means of promotion, those around you will have no respect for you as a person. You can't expect more from others you work with, if you've already given up the one value that defines you as a person.
Trust
Trust in a relationship will not work when there's a lack of respect. They only work together. If you're willing to kiss up as a means to get ahead, then you're willing to do it by any means available to you without regards to those around you.
Character
Our character is defined as the attributes we have that determine our moral and ethical action or reaction that we will take in any given situation. If you choose kissing up as part of your character, you place yourself in an unfavorable position of someone who is willing to get whatever you want no matter the cost. That's insulting to anyone you work with and screams that you lack "teamwork" skills.
In conclusion, there are a variety of reasons why this type of behavior is interpreted as less than desirable and looked upon as one of the last unacceptable promotional tools used in so many companies.
We are an advanced society, and as such, we are an intelligent people as well. It's time that we look at these behaviors for what they are and try to make positive changes where we can. Getting ahead should never be about to kiss or not to kiss. With the amount of money spent throughout our many colleges and learning institutions, it's time we get back to the basics and put our intelligence to its intended use.
Learn more about this author, Melody Hearndon.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
