Husbands

by Jan Wright

Created on: June 01, 2009   Last Updated: June 02, 2009

I chose "husbands," over wives for 1 reason. Unfortunately, and I am a woman, statistics show that women are more likely to be shopaholics than men. I am sorry. But, that is it. I knew that many would choose the "wives," because, probably, 1 they are the wife, and 2. it was the politically correct thing
to do. To claim "husband," would symbolize your descent into the stone age for many. It seems that some women are afraid to submit anything to the husbands: unless it is unfavorable characteristics.

However, Honestly, if only one controls the finances, it is not an equitable marriage. there must be communication and compromise where finances are concerned.

Most Americans are in debt. This is not just because of the stereotypical spending habits of the wife, but for that vacation, extra car, house and many
other things that we buy when we are spending outside of our means. Our society is quite busy and we also eat lots of fast food and spring for those other conveniences that make life easier, but eat up our budget. I am not saying that men don't spend. Of course they do and many times, also outside of their means.

But, if there is not communication where finances are concerned and an agreement as to how and where the money is spent, then economic challenges will be exacerbated. The bank accounts and such are probably in the bread winner's name, but that does not mean that you should leave all of the decisions up to him or her. Even when one is better at managing finance! s than another: both need to be making decisions. One person said: if the wife had an MBA, then, of course, she should. I disagree.

You don't need a MBA to be a good manager of finances. I know some people who never stepped foot in a college and they were quite good at managing their money. It does not have to do with education, rather common sense. And, even if the one with more managing savvy is the leader, he/she needs to help the other learn these techniques. After all, no one knows what tomorrow will bring. I have seen many women who knew nothing about finances and business and when their husbands died, they were clueless and vulnerable.

Some have suggested separate accounts. I disagree with this concept because it tends to polarize the partners. And, it only puts a bandade on the issue. The problem might be that one person is spending more than the other. It might be that one person is more frugal than another. Thus, these issues need to be discussed and compromised upon. I know women who have said: "I should not have to ask my husband to spend our money." and husbands who say: "Why should I consult my wife if I want to buy something?" Some women say: "If my husband is going to give me a credit card, I'm going to use it: after all, he does want me to look good, so I am doing it for him."

Likewise, some men say: "I make the money, I should be able to spend it how I choose." But, this issue is not about "freedom." It is about respecting your partnership and your marrital finances. In this way: both partners should be consulted when a substantial purchase is being considered. Both should have an active part in the financial decisions of a marriage. It is too bad that this debate pitted men against women. It is too bad that there was not a "both," or question about how a plan would look that had both husband and wife managing the finances. But, this will get lots of responses and probably some knee-jerk reactions.

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