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| No | 12% | 72 votes | Total: 590 votes | |
| Yes | 88% | 518 votes |
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To say that parental stress endangers children is like saying rain caused New Orleans to sink. How can such a question be answered without first considering the cause of the stress or how it is handled? Some people thrive in stressful situations, and some fall apart.
Stress is a powerful force that fuels creative juices and forces people to excel. It can also add an unmanageable amount of pressure and fell mountains.
Stress is all around us. Children create stress. Aside from worrying about the big bad world outside, our ability to provide for them and our own ineptitudes there are times when they just plain drive you batty for sport. In fact, the more stressed you are the more buttons they try to push, just to push them. Parents that remain unaffected by their children are simply unfit parents.
What endangers children is not the cause, but the effect. That is to say: How their mom or dad allows the stress to manifest itself and how well they manage its impacts on their children. There is no doubt that an excess of stress can certainly lead to a detrimental influence on the entire family and children cannot be expected to have the tools to compensate for parental inability to deal with it.
As the old saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Learning to deal with adversity is vital to building character and essential life skills that help children survive and prosper as adults. Where families crumble under stress it is incumbent upon extended family, friends, teachers, and social programs to step in and ensure that both the parents and children receive the help and support required to get back on track.
The current economic times are placing an immense amount of pressure on families. Even in good times worrying about money places a huge amount of pressure on families. Marriages crumble due to differences in dealing with money. The breakdown of the family has far reaching results that stretch beyond the four walls of the home.
If it takes a village to raise a child, it must also be considered responsible for supporting the family by providing the necessary assistance the parents might need to provide a stable home for their children. Only after all this has been taken into consideration can we come back to the original question of endangerment and make any sort of judgment or take any sort of action in either direction.
Learn more about this author, Freyda Tartak.
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Yes
Stress: it seems to be such a natural part of life these days. Many parents can find that rushing kids to school, taking care of errands, working and taking care of the home, not to mention many other details, can take a toll on their mental health. When stress is not properly alleviated it can lead to irritability, depression and even illness. When children are put in the middle of the stress trap it can be emotionally devastating for them.
Little Kyle is crying in class. Mommy had such a busy morning that she forgot to give him money for the book fair that day. Not only that, but this morning she had been angry with him because he lost one of his new tennis shoes. She's been shouting more lately and he can't understand why. His self esteem goes down as he continues thinking that maybe he is just bad.
Life is normal then mom decides to get a job or dad lost his job and money is tight. There was a recent move or someone in the family has died. These are all temporary stressors that, when dealt with in a positive manner, do not have to escalate to depression or other issues. With some relaxation techniques and, if necessary, even therapy, complications may be averted. The problem is that many people do not look for help or even help themselves to recuperate. Feelings of grievance, remorse or anger are often repressed. That is when small problems escalate into big issues and temporary stressors become long term. The moods of others affect all in the household and is often contagious.
If Mommy and Daddy used to be calm and caring then take a turn to yelling and arguing constantly, or if one of the parents alone is usually upbeat, but swiftly changes, that is something children will definitely pick up on. And if the parents are not doing anything to help themselves, just persistently falling into more negative patterns, this is what the children will learn. It is critical for adults to try to deal with things in a positive manner as they are the most prevalent teachers. If you deal with stress by yelling and arguing, your children will learn to yell and argue. If you lack respect towards your children, they will not learn to respect themselves or anyone else. Their self esteem can be destroyed with little hope of recuperating it later. The things that are engraved in a young child's brain often last a lifetime.
Stress does not have to be traumatizing for children, however. The parent who lets their children know that they are feeling a little stressed out and finds a positive solution are the ones giving their children the opportunity to succeed and be emotionally fit for a lifetime. Next time you are feeling the pressure of the all-too-common stress bug, invite your children out for a walk or go exercise at the gym. Take a bubble bath, call a friend, read a book or even meditate. Whatever solution works best to relax you, you can be sure that you are not only helping yourself, but your children as well.
Learn more about this author, Tracey Lund.
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