Should students be penalized for their parents/relatives' unruly behavior at graduation?

Yes

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by Mick Marten

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This story seemed, at first glance, to be an over-reaction on the part of the school; upon further scrutiny, I don't believe that it is. I think that the goal of the school is just misunderstood.

If the school intended to keep parents and guests quiet throughout the ceremony, and that was the extent of their desire, then denying these students their diplomas would be impotent and silly, since it has little impact on the audience (keep in mind, the students had graduated, and even the school said that the only thing they were being denied was the actual "wall-hanger"diploma ; their transcripts and records all reflected their status as graduates, rendering this action merely symbolic).

But I think the school intended to impact the students for their guests' actions. I think the school was attempting to impart one last lesson; the lesson of association and intolerance of improper conduct.

We've all seen the news footage of a crazed parent attacking a student athlete on the field. We all know parents that continuously bring chagrin upon their children. Could it be that the school was attempting to demonstrate to these students and their peers, as fledgling adults, that, as adults, they will now begin to be accountable by association; not just for their young friends' behaviors, but for the behavior of anyone whom they associate with?

I know, I know, "They are their parents" you say; "The kid can't control what their parent does" you say. All true, all true. But as adults, now, taking their first steps into a new world, what better time to show a kid that he will not be viewed, as he has all his life, as autonomous of his parent's actions? It is the perfect time to show a child that, as an adult, he or she has a responsibility to NOT TOLERATE poor behavior from another adult, even their parent?

It is probable that these kids who were denied their diplomas due to the rude and undisciplined actions of their parents went home very upset. It is probable that they thought of their principle as a fascist, taking obedience to every little rule to the far extreme. It is also probable that, having obeyed the rules that were set before them, having done nothing wrong themselves, and having been witness to the blatant disregard for the rules and decorum that were exhibited by their parents, that they looked at their parents a bit differently that evening. Perhaps, for the first time, they looked at their parent, and their parent's obvious lack of discipline, and disregard for decorum as a detriment. Maybe, for the first time in their lives, they saw the potential of another adult's behavior to have a negative impact on them. Maybe they suddenly saw the potential, which we all deal with daily as adults, for another adult, even a parent, to hold us back.

If that is what the school was trying to bring home to the students, then mission accomplished.

We all see the film clip on the news of those parents, frothing at the mouth, running out onto the field to assault the referee. We see it, and we feel it, because, if you are a parent, you empathize. We've all felt like retaliating on behalf of our children; but we don't. And when we watch the crazed man on the news, we are reminded why we restrain those base instincts. It is for all the things that we try to impart to the kids with those sports and activities; sportsmanship, discipline, fair play, team work. These are more than reason enough to follow the rules. These are reason enough to restrain ourselves, for the sake of the kids, and demonstrate these lessons to them.

Aren't these same principles important enough to hold your applause at a graduation until after all the graduates have walked? This is all that was asked of the audience.

The behavior of these parents (though cheering for your kid comes as naturally as defending them does) was rude. It was just a muted and slightly more civilized exhibit of running out on the field to assault the ref.

The kids are now getting their diplomas, after having several days to ponder the actions of their parents, and the consequences that those actions brought upon them. Hopefully, as young adults, they will show the character and maturity to chastise their parent, or guest, for having put them through this, rather than obey one simple rule.

And maybe, as a peripheral benefit, that parent will stop running out on the field. In the end, that is what we, as a society, would like to accomplish with our intolerance of rude behavior. Let's all hope.

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