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Soul mates: Do they really exist?
Results so far:
| No | 22% | 974 votes | Total: 4342 votes | |
| Yes | 78% | 3368 votes |
No
by Carolyn Tytler
Created on: May 07, 2008
The romantic young singles of today are consumed with an overwhelming desire to find their one and only "soul mate." Some of them actually believe that, out of more than six billion people on the planet, there is only one special person who will be a perfect match for them.
This concept is illogical. It is the stuff of fairy tales, wishful thinking left over from childhood when everyone believed that a handsome prince, or beautiful princess would come along, fall head over heels in love with them, propose, and after an extravagant marriage feast in the palace, they'd live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, things don't happen that way in real life. The truth is that there are many compatible matches for most people, and most of whom they'll never even have a chance to meet. Each of us has many possible partners scattered across the face of the earth.
As many potential mates as there are for each person, no one single individual is going to be perfect for another in every way. You can maximize the chances for success in a relationship by choosing a mate of similar background, ethnicity, religion, and age, but there will always be areas where compromise is necessary. No two human beings will agree on everything, all the time.
Statistics show that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. Undoubtedly most of these couples initially believed they had indeed found their soul mates. They walked down the aisle with smiles on their faces and hope in their hearts for long and happy lives together. What devastating heartbreak ensued later when half of the supposed soul mates proved to have feet of clay!
Fortunately, most of those who suffer through marriage breakdown are able to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives and move on to discover the truth: there can be more than one soul mate for each person.
We all grow and change throughout our lives. Remember when you were a child and had a best friend from whom you were inseparable? You played, walked to school, had sleep-overs, did homework together. When you weren't at each other's houses, you were talking on the phone. Had you known the term then, you would probably have insisted that your best friend was your soul mate. And he or she was, at that time.
You grew up. You and your best friend eventually went your separate ways. You began dating and looking, either consciously or unconsciously, for a new soul mate. When you thought you had found one, you entered into a new relationship, and perhaps a marriage. But personalities are not static; people continue to grow and change. Sometimes partners grow in different directions. The one whom you believed would always be your soul mate might outgrow you or vice versa.
If and when that happens, it's important to remember that the myth of one soul mate for each person is just that: a myth. Try to find a compatible person, one who is first and foremost a good friend and then work to build a lasting relationship. Don't fool yourself. It won't be easy. It will require sacrifice, adjustment and compromise. If you persist and give it your best effort, you may get a pleasant surprise. You may find yourself with a true soul mate after all.
Learn more about this author, Carolyn Tytler.
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Yes
by Beth Howells-Murphy
Created on: October 11, 2007
Does the sun come up in the East? Did Romeo love Juliet? Are the red jelly beans the best? Yes! Yes! Yes!
In all of history there is one truth that holds true if there are stories, if there are parables, if there are wives tales or myths then there was/is some truth in some fraction to the basis of the story.Tales of Greek and Roman and Norse Gods weren't spun out of thin air, they were based on unexplainable events for that time in history. So are soul mates. There are just too many fairy tales with happily ever afters and love songs and novels on the subject to ever discredit the fact that true love and soul mates do in all actuality exist.
The truth of the matter is that humanity is a condition much like Pavlov's dogs; we as a species tend to be conditioned to what is expected. We are an age of dysfunctional families and adult children of broken homes. We have all had our hearts trampled upon until there weren't pieces left just merely dust. And in the jaded way we have been trained to think; we analytically say no, there is no such a thing as soul mates. Because we believe we wont find ours and that they do not exist we do not. Hence the cycle continues to the next generation of jaded human expectancies. If you tune your radio dial to a rock station do you expect to here classic Bach? No. And that is how are lives are based, we receive what we believe.
Another faction in the doubt of soul mates is that we are our own worst enemy. We live in a era of fast food, broad band Internet, easily accessible options for everything in a seconds notice. We expect our love lives to be the same. Quick, easy, and made to order. We rarely stop to feel our own pain and to do a personal inventory of our own damaged issues. How can we expect someone to love us when we don't even know ourselves? We hope that "this" is the one, this one will ease the pain, make me happy, fix all of my problems. I'd be happy if I were in love, etc, etc,etc. NO!
We can not expect a relationship to cure all of our ills or complete what's missing, but rather to compliment all that is good about our lives. For that's what a relationship should be...part of the balance...not a band aid for what's injured. We should not be looking for someone to fill a void...rather compliment a whole. But that can not be done unless we slow down and take a personal inventory. We must find out who we are. In our lifetimes we make many, many metamorphoses, we change , we grow, our tastes vary.....we need to stop and find out who we are right now....and who exactly we want to become. We need time to analyze what hurts we are still secretly clinging to that are sabotaging our relationships. Fix the whole, then look for what compliments it.
So the question is not do we each have a soul mate out there waiting and searching for us. Of course we do! But are we ready and healthy enough to recognize them we they come along and nurture not destroy the relationship when it begins to blossom? That is the real question. The universe will not hand you perfection knowing you are only ready to destroy the gift. Remember the booming voice in that old commercial...."build it and they will come...." Build yourself, do the work, when you are ready your soul mate will just appear. Like magic...poof....righ t in front of your eyes! And you will be ready to enjoy the ride. To appreciate all that they are....and all you have become.
Learn more about this author, Beth Howells-Murphy.
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