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Dating Dilemmas
RSS FeedLong-distance love: Can it work?
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| Yes | 64% | 1064 votes | Total: 1673 votes | |
| No | 36% | 609 votes |
Yes
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Add to FavoritesThere are few things more difficult in life than maintaining a relationship with a significant other. Even under the best circumstances, dating is a test of one's heart, willpower, vulnerability, and most importantly, honesty. Long-distance relationships tend to up the ante on these exponentially.
In today's ever shrinking world it seems that long-distance relationships are a new phenomenon brought on by the technology of the internet, cell phones, and more accessible air travel options than ever before. However, having to be separated from one's significant other for an extended period of time has been very common throughout human history. As long as there have been wars being fought there have been men displaced from their loved ones for as much as years at a time.
The "Greatest Generation", is routinely looked back upon as one of the most loyal and true among relationships as our grandparents today continue to celebrate diamond anniversaries while their children struggle through an over 50% divorce rate. That generation began their love-lives separated by World War II raging on the other side of the globe. Lovers kept in touch writing letters back and forth that would take weeks if not months to make it to their destination. Their daily fears of finding out that their love had been killed certainly make today's typical fear of hearing one's distant love has "moved on" seem quite trivial in comparison. But when they finally reunited they shared knowledge in the power of the bond between them. Something many long-distance relationships even today experience through the trials they have endured.
How can today's long distance relationships last?
It should be important to consider the distance between you to be only temporary. The best way to achieve success is to have a goal to be working for and always looking forward to. This goal is to be together, in each others arms. Once you have this moment to look forward to, your main tests shall be to keep that spark surviving until the distance is no longer a part of your lives.
Communication is by far the most important way to keep your relationship's head above water. Today's technology has greatly helped this to be possible. No longer do young lovers need to wait for an eventual written letter to arrive at their door. Today we have the ability to communicate instantly and even in "real-time" with nearly anyone at nearly any place in the world. Instant message programs can offer those quick "real-time" conversations as well as many of them including online games and activities for which to share. It is greatly important, and fun, to have some shared activity beyond just chatting. Voice over IP programs also make communication extremely accessible by giving people the ability to make long-distance telephone calls to each other mostly for free that traditionally would have been far too expensive by standard telephone to truly appreciate.
With communication comes something that has always plagued nearly every relationship and certainly remains the number one reason why long-distance relationships end: Honesty. When talking to each other is all that you have on a regular basis, the honesty of that communication becomes paramount. This will make or break any relationship.
Other important moments that inevitably must happen in all relationships, but seem more than twice as important in long-distance relationships are the fights. Arguments within relationships are not only natural but important moments of growth. As negative as each fight may seem, each one holds the opportunity for each of you to grow closer to one another as well as strengthen the foundation for which your relationship is built on. Handling an online fight should be no different than one in person. The tools listed above, honesty and communication, are what will help resolve any issues and allow making up that much easier.
Finally, as I had mentioned, all long-distant relationships should always be considered temporary. Meeting each other and further, staying with each other should always be the main goal in any relationship. The distance can only last so long before it can begin to weaken any relationship's foundation.
Long-distance relationships have been a part of human love-lives since the very beginning and the truth is that they can indeed work; they can lead to some of the most healthiest and special relationships of all.
Learn more about this author, j. staffeld.
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No
Through experiences of close family and good friends who have been through long-distance relationships it seems that long-distance love cannot work. These relationships, in addition to the usual problems faced in love, are prone to additional strains brought about by the distance between the couple.
A normal relationship would be one where you meet your partner on a daily basis if you are married or one or two meetings a week if you are single and both leading busy working lives. These meetings give you an opportunity to share your experiences of the time you have both spent apart and keep up to date with each others lives. They also give you a chance to express love to one another and keep the relationship alive. In fact both the physical and mental aspects of the relationship are nurtured through these regular meetings. If there is a problem then there is an opportunity to face one another, express it openly and hopefully resolve it.
These are things that are missing in long distance relationships. You might be able to call each other regularly via telephones or the internet but there will be a lack of physical contact between the partners. There is no comparison between physically holding your partner and being with them and speaking to them on the phone. Human beings thrive on contact with one another and this will be an important missing factor.
I believe that a lack of physical love can sometimes lead people to start straying in a marriage or a relationship and end up having an affair. They might still love their long distance partner but the human need to be with someone may be so great at times that if there is someone around who is available then there is a chance they might take this risk.
A person makes an effort to look nice when you meet someone for a date. This aspect will be missing when you do not see your partner regularly. Some couples end up comfort eating or dressing slobbily just because there is no one around to impress.
The saying 'distance makes the heart fonder' might work for a while but if this distance is long term then it might make the relationship go the opposite way. 'Distance might just make the heart distant'
To conclude, I believe that it is important to be able to meet your partner on a regular basis to keep feelings alive for each other. The communication gap is narrowed, problems are resolved, loneliness is less and the chance of having affairs outside of the relationship is reduced. In addition you want to keep on looking good for that special person who will see
and compliment you on how great you look! On the whole, it is a healthier, happier option for both partners.
Learn more about this author, Shaheen D..
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