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Add to FavoritesChivalry is not dead, but unfortunately, it is somewhat ill.
First off, let me clarify a bit. I'm not talking Young Lochinvar antics with men flinging their overcoats across puddles for women to walk across. Neither am I talking about men opening doors for women. Chivalry, to me, is simply manners. Respect. Being chivalrous is about being aware and a part of the world around you, rather than putting on the old blinders and ignoring everything else that isn't directly related to you. Still, even this broad translation seems to be in a sad state of affairs.
Most common, the lack of chivalry can be seen in driving. What is it about getting in that metal box on wheels that turns us into egotistical maniacs? Why is it that letting someone in turns into a sin of grand magnitude, or that cutting someone off not only can be seen as a triumph by the cutter-offer, but an affront of the most personal nature to the cutter-offee?
Also, why is it that people in large metropolitan areas seem to have a harder time with this than those in rural areas? Is it that people in busy cities don't have time to be polite? Bosh. Sharing a smile, opening a door, letting someone pass in front of you, giving up your seat to someone who needs it morethe million and one examples of simply being decent to someone are not so difficult, and yet they are rarely practiced in a city setting. In the country, people driving past each other give an acknowledging wave, they use "ma'am" and "sir", they stop to help you out if you seem to be in trouble. I have encountered none of these things in the city.
Chivalry no longer seems to be about man and woman, but city and country. Apparently, in today's world, it's perfectly acceptable to be encapsulated in your own little world, so long as you're a city sophisticate. The fast paced rat race seems to excuse a lack of manners that is not acceptable in a less frantic atmosphere. In a country setting, I've had one man berate another for failing to offer to pump my gas. In a city setting, you can't even pay someone to do it, more often than not.
Oddly enough, I've also found that same manners mentality from the country in the military. I've been on my fair share of military bases, and overall, when not dealing with a bureaucrat, the treatment is the same. The small acts of thoughtfulness, opening a door for me, calling me "ma'am", and so forth. I had pulled over on one base and was consulting a map when a uniformed woman in a hummer pulled up behind me simply to help me with directions. She took time out of her day and inconvenienced herself to help out a total stranger. In the city, I've been hopelessly lost in the midst of an enormous public transit system, people all around me, and I couldn't get one of them to stop and assist me.
Chivalry to me is no longer about knights in shining armor and damsels in distress, it's about simple manners. What so sad is when others are surprised or suspicious when someone else tries to be polite. Maybe us streetwise cosmopolitans could take a few pointers from our country cousins. Perhaps there's something about the military discipline that causes soldiers to show that respect, not just to their superiors, but to civilians as well. Is it so difficult to be nice? Is it so hard to meet someone's eyes and give a nod or a smile? Is it so arduous to say please and thank you and have a nice day? How is it we can get so busy that we forget to be civil? Perhaps I'm idealistic. Perhaps I'm unrealistic. I do, however, freely admit that I honestly believe the world would be a better place if we all practiced a little bit of chivalry in our day to day lives. No, chivalry is not dead, but it is on life support.
Learn more about this author, Cat Jarrett.
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Yes
Indeed, Chivalry as it was once known, is dead.
According to Websters Dictionary, the definition of Chivalry is as follows;
Chivalry:
-Gallantry, courtesy and honor.
-The noble qualities a knight was supposed to have, such as courage and a readiness to help the weak.
-The demonstration of any of these qualities.
If this definition is to be considered accurate, than one could argue that Chivalry is not dead. However, It would not be practiced regularly in todays world either. My favorite, unofficial, definition of Chivalry can be found at Chivalry Today. I quote the website; ".....Chivalry is - a choice. The choice to do things right, for the right reasons, at the right times".
When men and women think of chivalry, they think of men opening doors for women, and fighting for a woman's honor, most times. But there was more to it than those simple things. Chivalry was a code of honor among men and women alike in my opinion. While men honored women, courted women and fought for women, women were not so quick to dishonor themselves. Women didn't have the same choices she has today. Women were not so quick to assert their independence. Women needed men and men responded accordingly, because they knew they were needed. And because it was a mans duty to do so.
Today, a mans and a woman's "duty" are one and the same. Womens rights have skewed the lines of what a man should be obligated to do for a woman and vice versa. Men fight beside women, instead of fighting for them. Women wear suits and ties, and women lead men at the office. And so, in respect of chivalry towards women, it is dead.
However, if you take a look at the definition of chivalry above, it could be said that chivalry is not entirely dead. It could be said that the men and women who serve our country honorably, and courageously, every day- military, nurses, doctors, firefighters, leaders of our country- do still exhibit chivalry. Their responsibility, bravery, and honor definitely fit the definition of chivalry. There are still men that open doors for women and women who honor their obligations to their husbands. There are still noble souls in the world that fight on the side of injustice. So a form of chivalry does still exist.
While I do believe that values ran deeper, families were stronger, and marriage was more solid in the medieval times when chivalry was easily found, I can't fail to acknowledge the existence of chivalry in todays world. Perhaps, it isn't chivalry in it's entirety, but an evolved, new age version of the old code. I can only conclude that chivalry is dead, but it's memory still lives and grows with us, as most things do.
Learn more about this author, Belinda Long.
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