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Add to FavoritesChivalry is not quite dead, but it is clinging desperately to life support. The problem is, very few even understand true chivalry and therefore see it as some sort of condescending attitude toward women. In fact, the opposite is true. Chivalry honors and respects women, and indeed all people.
By definition, chivalry is the combination of qualities expected of the ideal medieval knight, especially courage, honor, loyalty, and consideration for others, especially women, although not exclusively women. Now I realize we no longer have knights in armor running around on horseback slaying dragons, toppling evil kingdoms and jousting for the honor of king and country. Or do we? What about our military men and women? They are knights of a modern sort; complete with body armor and the charge to topple evil regimes of terrorism. Not much different than the medieval knight. Most military men and women that I have met, and there have been many, posses that chivalrous quality that was so desirable in knights. They respect and honor those people around them and they show it by the way they treat those people.
What people have forgotten is that chivalry has nothing to do with capability, intelligence, equality, strength or weakness. It has to do with respect and common courtesy. Men would open doors for women, not because they believed they were incapable of opening that door themselves, but to show honor to her and allow her to precede him into a room or building. Taking a man's arm to cross the street was not because she was too weak to walk by herself, nor was it because either thought she needed protection, but because he was honored to be seen with her and yes he wanted people to know they were together.
This has come to be misconstrued into shows of superior strength or ability or a display of possessiveness, but again, it is because the concept has been perverted from its original intent. I believe the feminist movement had much to do with that. Many of the issues raised by the feminist movement were and still are valid. Women should not be exploited as sex objects, but neither should men or children. All people should be encouraged to explore their talents and pursue those careers and activities they enjoy. Employees who do the same job and have the equivalent amounts of education, experience and tenure should be paid the same regardless of sex, age, race, etc. No one should be told they "can't" do something because of who or what they are. But those are not the issues that I am talking about. Somewhere along the way, equality got confused with "same". I hate to break it to you, but men and women are not the "same".
There are so many ways in which men are women are different. That does not make us unequal, it makes us different. We are built differently, physically. We are wired differently, mentally and emotionally. That is a basic fact that no amount of denial will change. These differences have nothing to do with intelligence, strength or capability. Those qualities vary from human to human regardless of sex or race or any other factor. Some people are smarter than other people. Some people are stronger than other people. It happens. That's just the way things are. That should in no way affect true chivalry.
True chivalry occurs when one person does something that shows honor and respect for another person. Ladies, if a man wants to open the door for you, let him and say thank you. Accept the honor he offers. Likewise ladies, if there is an older lady or gentleman with you, accord them the honor due them and open the door for them. True chivalry occurs when one person refused to be selfish, boorish, or rude to anyone else, no matter how they behave. It is true that people will often behave in the way they are expected to behave. If individuals begin to alter their own personal perceptions and behave in a chivalrous manner, others will also begin to behave in that manner. Chivalry is dying because so few are trying to keep it alive. Behavior is contagious. Courtesy breeds courtesy. Don't let chivalry die. A little courtesy never hurt anyone.
Learn more about this author, R. W. Ley.
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Yes
Chivalry - the bold, gallant and courteous behavior associated with knights and knighthood.
Many, many years ago, long before Barbie and Bratz pushed them into the adult world of models and makeup, little girls lived in the world of fairy tales. They dreamed of the day a gallant knight would rescue them from a tall tower guarded by a fearsome dragon or a handsome prince would sweep them away from a life of domestic drudgery.
For thousands of years women knew their place in the world. In the natural scheme of things, men were the hunter-gatherer's, women were the child bearers and nurturers. To keep this balance, men were physically strong, dominant and inherently protective of their women. Women were mentally strong, producing offspring for the continuance of the male line and taking pride in providing for his comfort.
Then came the World Wars, two in fairly quick succession. Men were needed to fight and in their absence, women had to move from their domestic role into the role of men.
Whilst the male population was being slaughtered on the battle fields, women worked on the land and in the factories, they protected their homes and their children from enemy...and they came to know their own strength.
When the men came home, diminished in numbers and damaged physically and mentally, they also faced an economic depression. They were unable to work, provide for their families and they also realized they had failed to protect them at home whilst fighting abroad. Food and provisions were scarce, houses were destroyed, families were killed.
The consequences of war had changed the dynamics of the male/female roles forever. No longer was the male the strong, powerful provider. The females saw their former selves as weak and subservient and realized that they had the ability to be an equal.
Woman began to demand equal rights, they became angered when men treated them differently than they would one of their mates. They looked on chivalry as a weapon man had used to keep them in their subservient role and responded accordingly and men, bewildered and hurt by their rejection, withdrew.
Chivalry (as such) has no place in an equal society. Maidens will slay their own dragons, and girls will walk out on domestic drudgery and get a job.
Good manners, however, should still stand. Males and females can open doors for each other, pay for each other's meals and help out when needed.
I suspect though, in every women's heart, there is a secret place that still feels a thrill when a knight in shining armor comes chivalrously to her aid.
Learn more about this author, M.E Ashdown.
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