Join | Log in

Show All Channels Show All Channels
Debate_icon

Relationships & Family   >

Dating Psychology

Do nice guys really finish last?

Results so far:

Yes
36% 491 votes Total: 1362 votes
No
64% 871 votes
Yes

A lot of people have been posting bulletins, which honor the nice guys. I agree that the "nice guys" don't get enough credit, but I do have a theory on why. All the nice guys are insecure. You sit there whining about girls, or wondering what is wrong with you, or change your self to be more appealing according to your surroundings, or basically betray who you are because who you are hasn't worked for you. We all have insecurities, but isn't it getting out of hand?

What is attractive? CONFIDENCE! Yes it is cliche, but it is the harsh reality. A woman is attracted to a guy who is strong, funny, ambitious, smart, good looking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), and has confidence! How do you get confidence? Instead of looking at yourself and trying to improve all of the flaws you see (and no one else notices), look within yourself and pick out the good things about yourself. Convince yourself that you are worthy of love because you have a lot to offer to the right lady. Be choosy instead of waiting for the girl who will feel pity for you and date you for awhile.

Really, being labeled a nice guy is like death romantically. You know and I know that in that head of yours, you are eyeing down her cleavage when you think she's not looking. You're watching her hips shake when she walks away. Grow some balls and let her catch you admiring her! Women are insecure enough for the both of you anyway and she did not spend all that time getting ready to assure you all night that "everything is okay and she IS having a good time. It is a real turn off. A woman wants to feel special and not feel like you are settling for her because she has a vagina and was willing to go out with you. Oh, and too many sappy gestures and awkward cheesy pickup lines will make a girl run. Traditionally being chivalrous is awesome and shows you have respect for her, but when it goes to the point of doing too much too soon, she'll probably wonder how often you have done the same for other girls.

What I'm trying to say is that all you "nice guys" are not really "nice guys." You are just constantly second guessing your worth and in turn creating exactly what you fear! You are constantly trying to fine tune your "game," but we can see right through it. It's phony! You are too nice to the point of being a doormat for fear women won't like you. If you would just let go of the act and accept what you can not change. Learn to embrace who you are without constantly focusing on if there is something wrong with you.

Any girl would be lucky to have a guy who treats her right and makes her feel desired, but being polite ALL the time is boring. Show us that edgy bad boy every now and then, PLEASE! When you make-love to us, don't always make love! Make it raw and hardcore sometimes. When we think you are predictable, surprise us! Instead of the four star restaurant you keep trying to impress us with, go grab some nachos at the bowling alley. You get what I'm saying?

Good Luck "nice guys"

Learn more about this author, Lauren Blandino.
Contact this writer Click here to send Author comments or questions.

No

He rings the doorbell. You open the door and he tells you how lovely you are. Taking your hand, he escorts you to the car, opens the door, and makes sure your dress isn't in the way as he shuts the door. You think to yourself, it's refreshing to find men who still cares enough to go that extra mile. He's in that moment proud to be known as a,"Nice Guy" when you flash that kilowatt smile.

In this day and age of casual dating, it's still appreciated when a man acts like a gentleman. This nice guys finish last thought is bogus. Women, like men have preconceived ideas of the man they want to eventually marry, and most times it's a "Nice Guy" they want to create a home with.

Sure it's exciting when your in school to be seen with the coolest boy on campus. Whose heart doesn't flutter at the naughty boy image. Girls, like guys have that side to them which walks the line, but when it comes to the most important aspects of settling down into a serious relationship, a nice guy will usually win out over the wild and not so serious type.

A nice guy tends to think of the person he is with, more than the bad boy who thinks of self by delving into what it is he likes to do all the time. A nice guy, while maybe not so inclined to enjoy a night out at the opera, will forgo male ego and take his wife or date out so that he can enjoy the feeling of seeing his significant other happy. His joy comes from being the giver and not the receiver although, he isn't opposed to being on the receiving end of the nights ending when she thanks him profusely with kisses and a night of romance.

The days of chocolate, flowers, and holding hands are not outdated! I can feel the eyes of the men rolling about now and disagreeing with me, but women still like the thrill of receiving flowers and chocolates. It's those little things that "Nice Guys" do that stand out. This is even after years of being with someone married or not.

Sure the expectations of the sexes have changed, both male and female are constantly shifting the ideas of what they want in relationships. Yet, some things remain the same. Just as a man wants to take home a "Good Woman" to meet his mother, so too a woman wants to bring home a, "Nice Guy"

So do nice guys finish last? In my humble opinion, I don't think so. In the beginning it might seem that way, but it's usually the nice guy who is closing the door at the end of the day, as he and his woman walk into their home.

Learn more about this author, Melissa R. Bickel - Poetry Steward.
Contact this writer Click here to send Author comments or questions.

Difference of opinion? Debate now.
Dating Psychology
The metrosexual man versus the cowboy: What do women want?

What is Helium? | User Guide | Community | Link to Helium | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA