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Are virtual relationships taking precedence over real life relationships?
Results so far:
| Yes | 55% | 553 votes | Total: 998 votes | |
| No | 45% | 445 votes |
Yes
by Lynette Bell
Created on: January 06, 2010
Speaking from experience, I would have to say yes, virtual relationships can take precedence over real life relationships. No matter what the situation in our real life home or work place, our true virtual home is lived in the mind, and it is within this virtual home, that a virtual online relationship can slowly and easily begin to take precedence in our reality, many times unknowingly. Even if our daily reality is a happy and well rounded one with no apparent missing pieces, the virtual mind can compartmentalize the online relationship just by virtue of it's physical absence alone, and slowly but surely grow it's roots into our daily reality, and, before it is realized, choice's can begin to be made influenced by the growing virtual life online.
The virtual realm of the computer is very similar to the virtual mental realm of the mind. What we perceive in both realms takes place within a virtual reality that cannot be seen in the physical life we lead everyday. And, more times than not, what goes on in the virtual reality of the mind is what guides our life's path. Our secrets, hopes, dreams, memories and goals all dwell within the confines of our virtual home of the mind, and it is from these perceptions and influence that many of our daily choice's are made into reality.
So, it is no wonder that a virtual relationship began online can be an even more insidious influence on our daily reality than we are aware and even begin to take precedence within it. The mind has a natural built in awareness with those we have daily interactions with but not so with the seemingly innocent virtual lives we are growing online daily.
Life is not as cut and dry as the material world would have us think. The virtual world is as real as the material world to the mental mind, and we would be better equipped to handle it if we were more aware of this fact. Possibly, many heartaches and relationships destroyed by online relationships, could be circumvented by this knowledge and awareness. In the meantime, one way we can personally take action in becoming more aware of a virtual relationships influence, is to begin to be more open and honest with our loved ones about the connections we are growing online. After all, if we have already put in the time, effort and hard work growing our current lives, we owe it to ourselves and our families to nip the virtual relationships influence in it's virtual bud. If we are having problems at home or in the work place, honesty with out loved ones or coworkers is still the best policy.
This is not to say we shouldn't grow relationships online. Many wonderful lifetime relationships have been grown in this virtual environment, including many helpful networking relationships that eventually lead to bigger and better things. But, red flags and caution signs should be popping up in our mental radar screens if we have already begun to compartmentalize and live double lives with our virtual "friend" whom we have kept secret from our loved ones. If you are on this road already, please be forewarned, it is a dangerous road and should be taken as seriously as a real life relationship...after all, your mind already has.
Learn more about this author, Lynette Bell.
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No
by Deborah Henry-Pollard
Created on: November 13, 2007
I don't think that virtual relationships are taking precedence, just adding another layer to how you meet people, and creating opportunities to be in touch with people who you otherwise would not get to meet. Through the internet, I have been able to keep in touch with my friends in Germany, France, Greece, Canada and Australia, as well as through the UK, friendships which may well have begun to peter out if left to just communicating through cards at birthday and Christmas. We can write each other quick notes or substantial emails, depending on how long we have in front of the computer, but whatever the length of the communication, it creates that wonderful bond.
Through a networking website, I have made several very good friendships, which haven't just remained in cyberspace. As one example, I saw the page for a lady called Vanessa and she had similar tastes in music to me. I asked her to be my "friend" and we exchanged email messages and got a good vibe about each other. Then she mentioned a concert in London (where I live) by a singer we both liked. She was coming down from Nottingham for it and when she suggested meeting up for this gig, I thought why not? We spoke very briefly on the phone to make arrangements a couple of days beforehand and both came away thinking that our instincts were right and that we would get on well. This was indeed the case as on the day, having exchanged texts about what we would be wearing just to avoid any embarrassing confusion, the first thing we did on meeting was fling our arms around each other! It just seemed like the most natural thing to do after swapping girly banter over the web! I felt I knew her so well that it seemed odd halfway through the evening to suddenly be discovering surnames. We have met up several times since, whilst still keeping up our cyberspace contact.
On networking sites, you can make new friends who you would otherwise never "meet" and it makes the world seem pleasingly small and cosy. I've been in touch with singer I've never met, but whose work I've loved for decades. I've finally been able to tell her how much her songs have meant to me, which was, judging by her reaction, as much a treat for her as for me. I've also had an email from another singer who read a review I had written on my blog of his show. I am a 48 year old woman, but I have a lot of 20-something friends over the web with whom I discuss indie music. I wouldn't imagine that I could walk into a club and get talking to these younger people face to face, but over the web, it is our common interest which is important. Once you have made the contact, however, it is no problem to meet up with them at a gig to which you are both going.
I wouldn't be without my virtual friends, if only because so many of them become "flesh and blood" friends!
Learn more about this author, Deborah Henry-Pollard.
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