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Add to FavoritesA COLOR TO WEAR WITH PRIDE (2ND EDITION OF ARTICLE)
Here in Australia those who are over 40 are often referred to now as The "Grey Army" - a humorous name for those whose hair is more likely to be grey than any other colour. Some may still have a lot of their youthful colour left in their locks - but you usually won't have to look too far to find a few grey hairs here and there.
A recent successful business initiative making its presence felt in Aussie society even calls its mature-aged employees "The Grey Army". The over-40s are becoming a force to be reckoned with. As our population ages we are coming to realize that being older doesn't have to mean we are wearing out. We don't have to feel negative about aging. Being older can mean all sorts of positive things - like being wiser, more experienced, more mellow, more tolerant. It can mean not fretting over trivial things we used to be paranoid about when we were younger, being more contented, having lots of memories to reflect on (and just dwelling on the good ones). It can mean you don't feel the need to work so many hours - or indeed it can even mean early retirement with many golden years stretching ahead of you if fate is kind.
Being part of the so-called "Grey Army" ought to attract greater respect and, if ripening has made us sweeter, then hopefully it will mean younger people will enjoy our company, look to us for friendship, advice and support - and aspire to be like us.
So what's wrong with being grey? It's part of the big picture. Why should you have to cover up the fact that you've come this far? It doesn't have to mean you're over the hill - well not the last one anyway. Hopefully there are still many gently-rolling hills ahead - just as long as there aren't any that are too steep!
Grey hairs should be a status symbol - a trophy of God's grace in your life. After all, when people get really ancient - like over 80, 90 and 100, they are really proud of their age. It's like when you ask a child how old they are and they tell you they are "nearly 10" - when they may actually only be 9 years and 8 months. When people get to be, say 94 years and 8 months old they make sure you know about the 8 months as well as the 94 years. Or else they tell you they will be 95 in four months' time. You certainly don't have to twist their arm to tell you their age.
So why is it that we who are in between don't take pride and pleasure in declaring every extra year we've managed to stay alive when so many people tragically don't make it? My little girl passed away a week before Christmas. She was nine years and nine months - way too short of the ten years we had so dearly hoped she would attain. Definitely far too short of the 48 years I've managed so far. To say nothing of the afore-mentioned 94 years and nine months - or the 104 a good friend of ours managed. I wish she could have lived a long, healthy life and got to have grey hair. Her hair was her crowning glory and I'm sure it would have looked beautiful in a soft silvery colour as much as it did in a sort of strawberry blonde shade.
Yes, we need to get things into perspective. Grey hair should be something to celebrate. We have it all wrong when we bemoan it. Of course most of us loved our hair when we were younger. It was a vital part of our identity then - but it remains part of our identity as its colour changes with our maturation - like a good wine. Older wines are the most valuable wines - and so our value increases too in many ways as we age and turn grey.
Of course, that's not to say there's anything wrong with having a change of colour occasionally. Variety is the spice of life and it can give a person a lift to just have a new hairstyle and/or a different colour. But young people do that too. It should be something that's done just for a bit of a change - not because we have a hang-up about grey hair. It's rather sad if a person feels they have to deny the reality about their age and the hair colour that goes with it. It really doesn't change what's underneath. If we are trying to deny where we are at in life by covering up the grey then we need to see things differently. It's a healthy, positive thing to be real and natural.
It has to be said too that colouring one's hair all the time isn't really good for it. Dyes will make hair dry, brittle and lifeless if they are used continually. If you want your hair to be soft and healthy you need to give it a chance and keep it free of chemicals a lot of the time.
Grey hair can be very becoming - particularly if it's silvery or even more inclined to be white. Men in particular can look very distinguished with grey hair - and women too can look very sweet and stylish - especially if they have a really attractive hairdo. When I think of some of the older women who have been really special to me down the years, I really can't imagine them looking so endearing with their hair coloured. It just wouldn't match their face or look right somehow. They were beautiful just as they were at that state of life.
These days one can hope for many years being grey. Statistically more people are living longer - and having better quality of life on the whole. They aren't sitting around rusting out and waiting for their number to be called.
With many people retiring earlier, they are often heading off on all kinds of adventures. Many retirees here in Australia take their caravans and go on extended trips around our wonderful wide country. In many cases it will be something they have always dreamed of doing. The latest joke is that these people are spending their kids' inheritance. Well good on them! They are still young, fit and strong enough and have lots of energy and enthusiasm to do all these exciting things they were too busy to do when they were younger.
So when a person starts finding grey hairs, they really shouldn't groan. Joining the ranks of the "Grey Army" can be a grand milestone to reach in life in these times. So why not relish that classic symbol of getting older - grey hair! Wear it with pride. You've worked hard for it! It represents all you've achieved so far and all the privileges and honours that ought to come with being one of the seniors in the school of life.
I love colour - but when I look in the mirror from now on, I think my motto must be, "Hooray for Grey!" May the force be with us who qualify for the "Grey Army" of the 21st century - and may every grey hair represent a victory in life!
Learn more about this author, Ruth Woodhouse.
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Dye it
A few weeks ago, my husband and I treated ourselves to a day at the spa. As I was climbing into the red clay mud bath, a woman remarked to me, "I love the color of your hair, is it your natural color?" I explained that it was as close to my natural color as I could remember, since I have been coloring my hair for decades. She wanted to know if I knew the name of the color my hairdresser was using, and was shocked to know that the gorgeous red she was complimenting came from a box. I gave her the brand, and the name of the color. She had one more question, does it cover gray? I smiled and replied that I am 60-70% gray, and she gasped.
While the decision to dye or go gray is very strictly a personal one, and having toyed with the idea of halting my coloring regimen (every 4 weeks, mandatory), every time those silvery strands peek out at my temples and part-line, I run for the box!
The conversation I had with the lady at the spa is not unusual. I have been complimented many times about my hair color. I experiment with different brands and different shades, always keeping to reds and auburns. In the summer, I go with lighter tones and in the winter, darker ones. I have never had a professional do it, having developed a routine to ensure good coverage, and as the years go by, it becomes more and more of a challenge. At my temples, the hair is almost completely gray, so if I don't do it carefully, I can miss gray at the hairline, and with a fresh dye-job, that can look worse than just the roots showing!
I have known many women who look wonderful with a head of silvery-gray hair. I had a high school teacher who, in her fifties, had a gorgeous head of gray, cut in a short pixie. My hair at the time was a natural auburn, and I received many compliments. In the few years after the birth of my first child, I noticed something alarming. My hair had lost some of it's color, turning to a more brown shade. I had a few grays, but they were not as noticeable as the fact that hair was not the same rich auburn as it had been. The first hair color I tried was henna, and was I hooked! Not only did it give me back that color and depth, but my hair had life again!
When I got pregnant with my son, I let my hair grow out. Experts said at the time that coloring your hair while pregnant was inadvisable. I have learned since that due to fluctuating hormones, you can't count on a result, even with a tried and true product. In seeing what my natural color had become, I couldn't wait to get back to the box! During my third pregnancy, I again stopped coloring. I had problems during that pregnancy, so photos of me are of a pale, tired looking woman, with mousy brown hair.
During the last five years, the gray growth has accelerated, so maybe as I approach my 50th birthday, I will have the guts to see if I can carry off an "au-naturale" look. Till that time, hand me my gloves, I'll be in the bathroom for awhile!
Learn more about this author, Lynda Chitwood.
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