Parenting & Pregnancy >
After School
RSS FeedShould parents raise their children without television?
Results so far:
| Yes | 22% | 937 votes | Total: 4199 votes | |
| No | 78% | 3262 votes |
Yes
Write now
Print
Invite a writer™
Add to FavoritesI grew up in a home of avid... no, ferocious... television and movie watchers. In fact, until I got married, I thought "family time" was mostly composed of sitting down to a movie, MASH, Star Trek, or anything else that the could be watched on TV.
It is likely that this trend would have continued into my adult life had I not married Margie. In this respect, Margie was my polar opposite... she grew up without a TV. In the early days of our marriage I wondered why it was such a shock to her system when I constantly suggested that we spent "quality" time together watching something on TV or going to the movie.
It took her over 7 years to totally disconnect me. Regular TV programming went first and it went fairly early on. But plopping down in front of a movie on a regular basis, that was a bit harder to drag me away from.
Now, let's bring children into the discussion. You should know that we are the parents of 7 (almost 8) children. As my children started growing up, I noticed that they too were beginning to believe "quality" family time was sedately sitting in front of the TV.
I noticed something else as well: I noticed the impact of long-term, current programming on the minds, attitudes, behaviors and work ethic of other children who were several years ahead of ours. (Currently our oldest is 10yrs). In that observation, I saw a direct and powerful correlation between the parents who were constantly bemoaning behavior challenges with their children and the sheer volume of TV that their children digested.
Parents would say, "My child simply does not listen to me!" And then I would see the child absorbing "The Simpsons". Hummm... Interesting. I could go on, relating challenges with smoking, drug use, violent behavior, disrespect for authority, etc... and connect them to hundred of different TV and Hollywood programs that portray, perpetuate and popularize these themes.
It seemed to make sense - just like eating a steady stream of junk food will eventually take its toll on your physical body, consuming large quantities of corrupt information will inevitably reflect itself in your behavior.
Somewhere around the year 1000 BC, Solomon penned these words: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). In 1902, James Allen took that phrase and wrote a book called, "As a Man Thinketh", which detailed the vivid connection between the thoughts playing in our mind and the realities in the world around us.
Consider this quote from Mr. Allen in the opening chapter of his book, "A noble and Godlike character is not a thing of favor or chance, but is the natural result of continued effort in right thinking, the effect of long-cherished association with Godlike thoughts. An ignoble and bestial character, by the same process, is the result of the continued harboring of groveling thoughts."
Consider that in connection with the powerful principle of influence and persuasion that Dr. Robert Cialdini brings up in his book, "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion". In that book, he identifies the persuasion tactic of "Social Proof", that causes our minds to accept and then follow the behavior patterns of the sociality around us. He cites several examples. First, the brutal murder of Kitty Genovese in 1964 that occurred in broad daylight with dozens of witnesses looking on. How could she have been killed with so many people watching? It was a mystery to the nation.
Cialdini concluded that the murder occurred precisely because there were so many people. More than the murder, they each were observing that no one was taking action, and so, following the social cues from their fellow humans, they each resolved to not take action. Social proof gave their atrocious behavior license and validity.
His second example is a rehearsal of his attempts to teach his son how to swim. His efforts were met with stern resistance from a young boy who was apparently terrified of water. The resolution to the impasse came when his son went to summer camp and saw his best friends jumping in the water and having a great time. The power of the social proof that swimming was acceptable radically changed his behavior and gave him permission to accept swimming as a safe and enjoyable sport.
But Social Proof is not the only principle of influence at work in the debate of allowing our children to consume large doses of TV. The other factor is one of Authority.
Here again, Cialdiini draws on a significant study done in the mid 60's. Two volunteers were invited into a medical facility. One was actually not a "volunteer" at all, but a plant as part of the experiment. A "doctor" conducts the experiment that runs like this: One volunteer is strapped into a chair with electrodes connected to them. The other volunteer (the real one) is placed outside the room and given control of a machine that can deliver metered electric shocks to the other volunteer. The volunteer strapped into the chair is asked a series of questions. Each wrong question is rewarded with a shock that increase in voltage each time. Thus the experiment becomes increasingly painful as time goes on. In reality no one was getting shocked - the fake volunteer was simply acting out the part. The point of the experiment? It was to determine how much pain and suffering one person would inflict on another under the direction of a recognized "authority" - in this case the doctor who sat at the arm of the real volunteer demanding that he continue giving jolts to the other volunteer, even if they were screaming out in pain.
The results were stunning - over 90% of the real volunteers continue to inflict pain on the others simply because the "authority" demanded it.
How does this relate to the debate? In our homes, many of us would never permit our children to use foul and abusive language, perform acts of violence on friends and siblings, consume drugs and alcohol, or indulge themselves in immoral behavior. We tell our children that these things are wrong and will lead to painful results. Yet, in the same breath we turn the TV on or rent a DVD that portrays this exact type of behavior and often times from people that are their peers. In effect, we are communicating to them that while we verbally disapprove of this behavior, in deed and action we exercise our authority as parents and actually encourage our children to participate. This is especially true of young children who still look to their parents as the primary authoritative figure in their lives. If such actions are truly wrong, they should be wrong all the time, in all circumstances.
Let me conclude with this personal example.
Almost 5 years ago, my wife and I made a made a bold move and turned off the TV - we unplugged everything for the entire summer. At first there were some grumbling. But in the end, it turned out to be the very best summer we ever had. It forced us to come closer together as a family, become more creative in our activity efforts, more cordial in our interactions, and more loving in our words and actions... because no one wanted to be miserable all summer.
For the most part, the TV has been off ever since. When a VERY good movie comes along, one that emphasizes the values and principles we love and strive to live in our home, we will sit down and view it together. Otherwise we enjoy time in the yard, board games, ping pong, horseshoes, family outings, etc...
Everyday we see more and more the beautiful fruits of the decision to turn the TV off. More than that, as they have grown, we see the stark contrast between them and their peers. Their minds are not filled with inappropriate images and confusing thoughts. They are able to reason better, think clearer, and learn more quickly. Their friendships run deeper and their love of family, authority, and educators is incredible. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, they have reverence for sacred things with a vein of spirituality running through them that is undimmed by the ghastly images and behaviors portrayed in on TV.
In the end analysis, at least for our family, the effort to sift and sort through the good that is in the media did not deliver a positive return on investment. Our answer was to unplug from the TV and plug into the lives of our children. Borrowing from the poet Robert Frost, we have taken the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.
Learn more about this author, Joshua T. Boswell.
Click here to send Author comments or questions.
No
There is little doubt that we are plunging deeper into the information technology revolution. Mobile phones, ipods and the Internet, amongst countless other devices have cemented there place in our daily lives. In the backdrop of this exponential growth there is one device, the television, that has been here for over half-a-century. Television serves many roles, and has a different importance to different people. Essentially, the television serves as a common medium through which the vast and ever-growing information of our world is portrayed to those who chose to observe. To deny the kids access to television is to deny them access to a valuable, information-rich medium and surely no parent wants that for their children.
Few can deny the importance of kid's educational shows. These teach our kids simple things such as the alphabet and counting, as well as the basic elements of reading and identifying objects, animals and colors. These are targeted programs, which aim to convey important information in a fun, interactive and kid-friendly manner. Parents can join in and help their young viewers to complement their school-based learning. Pictures speak a thousand words - seeing a tiger run can teach a lot more than reading about it. Television also provides an alternative source of knowledge to that given in schools, perhaps more attractive to a child. Even simple things that we take for granted, such as knowing what time on the clock the show begins, what button to press on the remote and controlling volume imprint valuable concepts into the young child's brain. To take your kids out of this environment is to rob them of a rich learning experience.
Films are also a great learning experience. Much like reading a novel, but not to replace reading, films allow our children to follow a story line and to make logical connections between events. Fairies, space and time travel, wizards and the concept of flying expand our children's imagination, fostering creativeness and even philosophy. Think of the kid you see impersonating Batman and playing out storylines, or the one sitting quietly in the corner enthralled in the latest Harry Potter epic, seeing their beloved characters brought to life and complementing their knowledge from the books. Films also allow children to see the consequences of certain actions, such as falling onto the ground or getting hit by a ball. Such images allow children to avoid these dangers in reality and also to predict the likely outcomes of actions that they take on the school playground or elsewhere. Kids can actually 'picture' or visualize what will happen as they've seen it on TV. TV also exposes kids to emotions - they see people cry over losses and love, they see happiness over winning the soccer game, and anger over being lied to or manipulated. With the infinite variety of settings and storylines that films portray, they are equally as dynamic in the learning experience they provide.
Cartoon series offer a deeper level of imagination. Cartoons allow animals to come alive and speak, expressing their view of the world. They give children the opportunity to see things that are not possible in the real world, such as 'fireballs', transforming robots and energy shields, encouraging them to think laterally and creatively. They also serve as colorful, fun and energetic vehicles to educate children on basic but important concepts, such as good versus evil. Cartoons serve as illustrative examples of reality and beyond, and educate children on different characters and relationships in a more kid-friendly manner.
TV shows offer further wisdom for our children. Following daily or weekly sitcoms allows children to learn the dynamics of key characters and learn about different types of people. They follow individuals in their daily lives, which may be someone in Australia or the USA, thus gaining knowledge about lifestyles in other parts of the world. They are introduced to new ideas and activities that they may not have been exposed to, such as rollerskating, sailing or diving. Children learn about the different forms of relationships, ranging from a girlfriend or boyfriend, best friends, someone a character acquaints but doesn't trust through to worst enemies (e.g. Superman, Lois Lane and Lex Luthor). Sitcoms, with their various levels of comedy, encourage children to have a sense of humor and educate kids on various social skills. Furthermore, if a number of kids follow the same TV show then they are likely to talk about it at school the next day, thus training their ability to discuss a point and communicate ideas and opinions to others. The characters in the show often have different jobs, thus exposing our children to various professions and to the concept of work for money. So you see TV shows act out many social situations in a time-concentrated manner, many of which children haven't been exposed to.
Documentaries contribute immensely to children's factual knowledge. Images of the wonders of the world, underwater environments, dinosaurs, history... the list is very long... provide insights and knowledge to a degree and richness that no other media can. They excite senses that books cannot. Kids get to hear the roar of lion and see the magnificence of the Antarctic. Documentaries can get kids thinking, "Is there life on Mars?", "Do people live underwater?", etc. They are also exposed to new words, expanding their vocabulary. Documentaries allow kids to appreciate the great diversity that exists in our world - the people, the places, the wondrous creatures. Children are encouraged to ask questions, "Mom, what's that horse with stripes?" This allows important interactions between parent and child, and can facilitate educational discussion or even prompt the child to 'look it up on the net' or in a book.
For the older children, TV news presentations provide a quick and summarized means to keep up-to-date with local and global issues. Awareness of global warming, current events and perhaps controversially terrorism, allows our children to discuss on a simple level these issues with their parents, teachers and friends.
Sporting events dominate our TV screens, and these too are important for our children. First of all, children begin to understand rules and fair play so they can follow a game. Second of all, children soon idolize their favorite sport star(s) giving them someone to look up to and emulate. Role models are important for children, and the sporting field is a great place to find one. Thirdly, exposure of kids to active young athletes can encourage them to go out and participate, making them healthier and happier. Teams sports encourage working together and identifying each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Those on the other side of the equation who believe TV can be harmful for children put forward several arguments. Some say that TV can ruin a child's social skills. However, as I've mentioned extensively above, TV fosters imagination and encourages children to discuss ideas and storylines. Cartoons and sitcoms encourage a sense of humor, cartoons and films exercise the imagination, and sporting events encourage get-togethers for a game. It is possible that too much television exposure can have negative effects, but parents can monitor this. Others cry: "There's too much violence, sex and bad language on television for kids." These days, though, TV shows come with classifications and warnings so parents can keep track of kids shows and viewing times to minimize such negative exposure. Cartoon violence is a separate and contentious issue not for full discussion here. I'll mention that the violence in cartoons is imaginary and known to TV programmers, but they are still broadcast possibly because children need to have some degree of appreciation about harm and how it not favorable to receive or inflict. A different angle postulates that advertising campaigns, particularly of junk food, is targeted to children and can contribute to childhood obesity. This is in fact a good argument, and measures are just recently being implemented to ban such devices. In a short time, this will no longer be seen. Another argument states that TV is rife with bad role models - sporting stars who take drugs and the size nothing ladies. Again, this is a good argument, but these make up only a minority of people on TV. If such role models are seen, then the opportunity for parents to discuss the relevant issues with the kids in created. Finally, there are some who believe that books and school teachers can compensate for the learning bestowed by TV. This is a fool's argument. As described above, TV excites many senses all at once and is another medium through which much of the same information is repeated, and although I don't recommend that TV replace an organized learning curriculum, TV can be an important complement to lessons learned in school or on the playground.
To raise children without exposure to television is to deprive them of a rich and valuable learning tool. TV provides a concentrated diversity of exposures in an efficient and user-friendly manner. In the current information revolution of generation Y, we must let go of our old-fashioned ideals of our children solely absorbed into books. The world is gradually becoming smaller and our knowledge is rapidly growing, so let's not allow our kids to fall behind. Parents I plead: Please allow your kids to sit in front of the TV for a few hours a day, so they may become competent and informed human beings ready to inherit our planet.
Learn more about this author, Jengy Pie.
Click here to send Author comments or questions.
