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Add to FavoritesOh fer cryin' out loud, of course you should spank your child. We should also put a scarlet "A" on bad girls and put troublemakers in stocks.
At one time stocks and public humiliation were very effective methods of getting people to conform to societies expectations. But it was only effective for a small window of time and in a limited segment of our population. In today's society we've found different (better, some might argue) ways of convincing people to behave themselves.
The same is true with spanking. There is a time-a very small window in a child's life-where spanking is effective discipline. It really only works well when children are non-verbal-between the time he toddles about and about 2 1/2 to three years of age. Once a child is old enough to express his wishes and convey an understanding of cause and consequence, then a parent should implement reasoning, time-outs, restraint and other non-physical forms of discipline.
Its application should be limited to times when a child's safety is at stake or when the child is defiant. When a child is running into traffic or sticking a fork into the plug outlet, it's really impractical to expect mommy to explain why she doesn't want sweetie electrocuted and wait for sweetie's cooperation. When a child's safety is at stake the lesson needs to be taught and taught NOW. When a small one is in a defiant mode, when she looks straight at you and drops the glass after you asked her to give it to you, then the parent's reaction needs to be swift and sure and unmistakably linked to the defiance.
Spanking by itself is never effective. You should use it only to get the child's attention, then make it clear that he has crossed a line, one that had already been clearly taught to him. You should explain what he did to earn the spanking and tell him to never do it again. And, once you've gained the child's attention with a swift swat (one swat only, never more than two) and she understands your expectations, please take the time to comfort her, hug, cuddle and kiss her to reassure her that you still love her.
Just as the stocks and scarlet letters quickly lost their effectiveness, so it is with spanking. Used injudiciously or too frequently, spanking inures the child to all forms of discipline. If you find you are spanking more than once or twice a day, you are not helping the child curb his impulses nor learn cause and consequences. And there is never any reason to spank a child after he is fully verbal and able to respond to other forms of discipline and reason. By age four or five spanking will teach a child more about humiliation and coercion than it will discipline and self-control.
Discipline is about helping our children learn society's expectations, beginning with parents' expectations. It's about learning to control ones own impulses and rein in desires. A child who cannot conform to his parents' boundaries will not feel confident with the boundaries of the larger world nor be able to safely realize his own dreams and desires. If we do our job right, we will have happy, well-mannered, even-tempered and confident children.
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No
The use of corporal punishment as a means to discipline children is one of the most controversial forms of parenting. It's use in the United States, however, cannot be ignored. Research indicates that 94% of parents today use corporal punishment as a means of discipline, especially spanking (Smith, Lindsey, & Hansen, 2006). In the U.S. it has been reported that 74% of parents with children 17 years old or younger spank their children as a disciplinary technique (Benjet & Kazdin, 2003). Obviously, corporal punishment is being used in many American homes, but can these behaviors be justified?
It is difficult to dispute the use of corporal punishment when the law actually protects parents from physically punishing their children. In fact, in the U.S. corporal punishment is legal in all 50 states. Moreover, the U.S. is one of only two UN member countries to reject the ratification of the Treaty on the Rights of Children, legislation that aims to protect children from all forms of physical or mental violence (Ripoll-Nunez & Rohner, 2006). U.S. legislation thus claims that hitting a child is an acceptable form of child rearing.
The use of corporal punishment also has religious roots. Proponents of corporal punishment often sight the biblical quote, "spare the rod, spoil the child" to justify its use (Ripoll-Nunez & Rohner, 2006). Evangelical Christians believe that spanking is necessary to instill in children a sense of respect for authority figures. Moreover, it is believed that refraining from spanking can have negative consequences on a child, causing them to act in uncontrollable or disrespectful ways. Fundamentalist Protestants also hold similar religious beliefs. They believe that it is their Godly and societal duty to exert their authority over their children, even if it means using physical force. In fact, Fundamentalist Protestants view corporal punishment positively regardless of the frequency or harshness of the behavior.
While corporal punishment is rooted both in religious doctrine and U.S. legislation, many scholars argue that the negative impact of abuse in children can have long-lasting, detrimental effects. An analysis of corporal punishment by Gershoff (2002) found overwhelming evidence to this theory. Gershoff argues that while corporal punishment may stop behaviors at specific instances, it does not help children morally internalize right from wrong; it's only a quick fix. Gershoff also found that the use of corporal punishment was found to increase aggression in children, especially in children aged 10 to 12, and increase delinquent and antisocial behaviors in children as well as decrease their mental health well into adulthood. Lastly, adults who were hit as children were found to be more likely to be involved in crime and abuse their own children or spouses in adulthood.
In light of existing research and personal beliefs I am a firm opponent of corporal punishment. Instead of protecting a parents right to hit their children, legislation should protect children. In fact, seventeen countries worldwide Austria, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Hungary, Israel, Iceland, Italy, Latvia, Norway, Portugal, Romania, Sweden, and Ukraine - have created legislation against the use of corporal punishment (Douglas, 2006). Sweden and Finland even accompanied their laws with a national campaign to teach parents alternate discipline techniques (Ripoll-Nunez & Rohner, 2006). The U.S. should follow suit and begin taking strides to end corporal punishment here as well, especially because the link between corporal punishment and physical abuse is so strong.
Although corporal punishment has been proven to increase compliance among children there are alternative ways of achieving this goal. For example, instead of spanking or hitting a child when they misbehave, parents can use a Time-Out system. If children are aware of the consequences of their bad behavior, they will be less likely to behave in this manner. If a Time-Out system is ineffective parents can take away privileges (i.e. watching TV, playing outside, canceling play dates) to reinforce the idea that their behaviors have consequences. It is also important to be consistent and reward children when they are behaving well so that they are aware of the difference between right and wrong.
Lastly and most importantly, the use of corporal punishment should be avoided as a means to discipline children because it teaches children that violence is acceptable and can be used as a means to change people's behavior. This is a dangerous life lesson for children to internalize. When confronted with a problem, children who are hit at a young age will reason that violence is an appropriate solution. Therefore, while some agree that corporal punishment is an effective means of parenting, it is clear that hitting a child has the potential to leave lasting and significant scars on a child's life.
References:
Benjet, C. & Kazdin, A.E. (2003). Spanking children: the controversies, findings, and
new directions. Clinical Psychology Review, 23, 197-224.
Douglas, E. (2006). Familial Violence Socialization in Childhood and Later Life
Approval of Corporal Punishment: A Cross-Cultural Perspective. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 76 (1), 23 30.
Gershoff, E.T. (2002) Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors
and Experiences: A Mata-Analytic and Theoretical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 128 (4), 539579.
Ripoll-Nunez, K.J. & Rohner, R.P. (2006). Corporal Punishment in Cross-Cultural
Perspective: Directions for a Research Agenda. Cross-Cultural Research, 40 (3), 220-249.
Smith, M.S., Lindsey, C.R., & Hansen, C.E. (2006). Corporal Punishment and the
Mediating Effects of Parental Acceptance-Rejection and Gender Empathy in a Southern Rural Population. Cross-Cultural Research, 40 (3), 287-305.
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