Yes

by Emma Lions

Created on: August 19, 2011

There was a time when the response to this question was a simple 'YES'. Back in the day children knew that listening to and showing respect to their parents was a must. Children went to school, came home to do chores, went to church on Sundays and did as they were told. 

Today many children do not listen to their parents, nor do they show any respect either to their parents, their belongings or to other people. Society has changed, in some cases for the worse, and so have our methods of parenting. While it is easy to point fingers and blame working mothers, this issue is more complicated than that. I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and a strict dad who believed children should be seen and not heard. For many years I believed that I would raise my own children in a similar way - until I had them. Although they are only young (four years, and 18 months), I allow my children much more freedom of expression than I had. But it does mean that they don't always listen.

My four year old is at a stage where he says no to every request. While I believe in spanking, it only occurs in our house when it is deemed absolutely necessary (i.e. touching a hot stove). Therefore I am finding other ways to make my son listen. It's not easy but I believe it is necessary that he learns that when myself or my husband speak, it is his job to listen and response, not brush us off because it doesn't suit.

Obviously there are periods when children of all ages refuse to listen to their parents and will deliberately disobey them. I certainly tried but I also knew when to stop pushing. As a mother I believe it is my duty to teach my children the importance of respect for others even if I choose to do so differently to my parents. Children need to learn to listen to all people, to pay attention, and to be respectful. Many children today it seems are no longer taught the importance of respect. The current punishment for my son when he refuses to listen or do as he is told is to switch off his favorite TV show and/or take away a favorite toy. This always ends in tears. He has not yet declared his 'hatred' of me for doing so but I know that at some point in the near future the words 'I hate you mommy' will spill from his lips. Does this bother me? No. Because while I both love and like my children and enjoy being their friend, I am foremost their mother. I am here to teach them. That said, I would prefer they listen to me as they friend because I know as an adult we are more likely to listen to our friends than our parents. At the same time however, I hope they will learn to listen out of respect for me as they mother as well as their friend.

By teaching children to listen to their parents, we are teaching them the importance of listening to people with authority, people who are wiser, and people who have their best interests at heart. Sadly many children today do not come from homes in which their parent care enough to 'lay down the rules'. While I am certainly much easier on and less strict with my children than my parents were with me (a fact my parents like to remind me of), there are rules in our house which must be obeyed - either for safety, respect or for order. For certain issues there is simply no discussion (e.g. hitting each other, swearing, deliberately breaking things due to anger etc).

While times have changed and it is tempting to 'go easy' on children today, respect is still important. In my opinion, listening to your parents as a child is a sign of respect and is a lesson that must still be taught to children. While many people will most likely say no to this question, my answer is a definite 'YES'. Children should listen to their parents.

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