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Age matters in romantic relationships

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Agree
41% 48 votes Total: 116 votes
Disagree
59% 68 votes

Agree

by Sharilee Swaity

Created on: September 29, 2011

Age matters when it comes to relationships. It's a nice idea to think that anyone can marry anyone but two partners need to have a certain degree of commonality to make it work. If two people are extremely different in age, there is a built-in difference that is almost impossible to overcome.

The year that we were born determines so much about who we are and how we see the world. It affects the world events that we remember, the music we heard on the radio and style of clothing that we wore growing up. People from one generation can only relate so much to those of another and that is what we call a “generation gap.” Kids love their parents but their parents can never completely understand them. And those same kids can never really understand the ones that gave them life.

It is for this reason that age matters when it comes to relationships. What generation a persson is from determines so much about them. If a man marries a woman 20 years older than him, they can never catch up encough to have anything in common. Marrying someone that is more a decade or so older is like marrying your mother or father! Two people from two generations can love one another but they cannot be partners. They will always see things differently. Very differently.

Another reason that age differences are a potential problem in relationships is that age determines the life stage a person is currently at and what they expect out of life. Life has its stages. Of course, we don't all fit in them to an exact degree but the general idea still applies to most of us.

In our twenties, we pursue our schooling and get started in a career or even start a family. In our thirties, we are getting more established in what we are doing. By our forties we are usually going strong in our chosen profession or family situation. And in our fifties, we are in a mature position and usually more secure in life. And from the sixties on, we are looking towards retirement and even estate planning.

What happens when you marry someone that is at a different life stage? How do you live your life when one partner is secure and the other is just getting started in getting to know themselves? What happens when one of you is wanting to retire and travel while the other person is just getting going in their career? How do you deal with these very fundamental questions within the relationship? It's fine to say, “it will all work out,” but these are very practical questions that must be answered. At times a marriage done in haste may be regretted when the full implications of this decision are realized.

No, age does matter when it comes to relationships. Of course it does.

Someone with a different point-of-view might argue that some people do make it work, pointing to this or that example from the media or their own personal lives. We can always find someone to support our argument if we try. And without a doubt, there are a few that will make it work in spite of all the obstacles. That said, however,they still have work hard to overcome the inherent problems found in May-September romance. Because, ultimately, age does matter.

Learn more about this author, Sharilee Swaity.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Disagree

by Alana Sekiguchi

Created on: January 19, 2012

How can the amount of candles on top of a birthday cake possibly give society a right to judge what's "appropriate" for a relationship? If a couple has enough power to ignore criticism then they themselves have already prove more willpower than half the couples in the world merely fitting themselves to a magazine perfect mold. 

Many may argue the different life stages of 2 people may cause quite a lot of problems but whose to say what age we have to slip a ring onto our finger and nurse a crying infant? Quite a lot of these relationships form because many want to be reminded or live a part of their life they didn't have a chance years before or in contrary learn the wisdom of years. Opposites attract doesn't just define personalities but can very well work for age as well. How can the exact people who watch and support the cliche Hollywood Rich and Poor based films be against something as insignificant as number?

Even if the numbers are to say a 20 year gap, the benefits from each generation to teach the one before or after can affect personal perspectives tremendously. Say a single father raising a 12 year old daughter might have a younger dating partner lending a hand teaching why Taylor Swift is such a necessity to a preteen girl's life. That's not to say a 70 year old lonely pedophile can "date" an underage minor as that isn't forming a relationship but more of statutory rape. A big stereotype many traditional individuals believe are age gap relationships are based on sexual and physical needs.

Which obviously is a false assumption but it's unrealistic to think sex isn't an obvious factor to most adult relationships. So why is it such a big target for judgement in these unique situations? There are arguments saying only an exceptional few who make it aren't worthy enough examples for this side of the argument and are simply over looking those "exceptional few" are like any other couples. Only roughly a handful of marriages survive till "death do them apart" these days due to distance, financial struggles, loss of flame, etc. and their own personal reasons, just like the way any failed marriage or relationships end and age having nothing to do with closure.

So rather than doubting about age, couples should be focusing on other changeable factors to make a healthy relationship continue. In the end whispers at a cafe or odd glances from strangers will affect nothing as long as a couple has successfully transitioned from a petty teenage image of fairy tale romance and into the adult world of realities. Realistically, age just doesn't matter.

Learn more about this author, Alana Sekiguchi.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.


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