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Should couples live with their in-laws?
Results so far:
| Yes | 12% | 13 votes | Total: 109 votes | |
| No | 88% | 96 votes |
Yes
by Jordan Millsap
Created on: March 13, 2012
We have heard the jokes and seen the movies of the evil in-laws. And some people actually have some that are less than appealing, while some are lucky with delightful in-laws that they actually befriend. However, if your spouses mother or father needed to live with the two you should you or shouldn't you allow it? Or what if the couple need a place to stay? Putting all negative or positive feelings aside, couples should sometimes live with their in-laws, and sometimes they have no choice. But there is a negative and positive side to it.
Growing up we finally gain independence away from our parents. We are free to do as we please, make our own decisions, and become our own person. And as years go by, we get use to this independence and freedom, and get set in our ways. Also, as you grow their may be a significant other brought into the picture, and the two start a life together. It would be hard to let a third wheel in that would be with you 24/7 and they made you change your way of life and relied on you. Or perhaps you had to rely on them for some reason, because you couldn't support yourself? Both situations would be hard.
Any of those situations would be hard, because both parties would have to change and make sacrifices. And it also has to do with both parties mind sets. If one or the other doesn't like each other then there are bound to be problems along the way. Mother-in-laws can't be controlling and manipulating their sons and starting fights, spouses can't be rude and mean to the in-laws because they don't like how they do something it's a give and take relationship. And sometimes you are in a situation that you have no control over. An in-law is ill and can't take care of themselves anymore and they come to live with you. It will be hard, especially if you don't like that person. But we all have to do things we don't like. And will it put stress on a relationship, yes, but there are ways to work around that stress and find an understanding that will work for both parties.
The point is, should couples live with the in-laws their entire lives? Probably not. But are there situations that may require to live with and deal with their in-laws? Yes. It can be a good or bad experience depending on how you make it. But in-laws are part of your family, and if you're in need they should lend you a helping hand, and you should do the same for them. That is what families do. They help and love one another.
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No
by David Geddis
Created on: July 31, 2011
Better not to live with in-laws.
Living with in-laws can cause major problems between couples. Couples nowadays have to have independence from their parents so that they can make their own decisions for their own futures. Making their own decisions will also cut down on arguments if there are any problems with the decision. However, the advice that we receive from our parents is very valuable. Living with in-laws is a terrible idea for any married couple.
With independence comes freedom of thought. Living with in-laws creates the illusion of freedom. One side of a married couple will obviously be influenced by their parents, whether it be consciously or subconsciously. Parents will always try to protect their own children, and when it comes to a married couple trying to make a decision; the in-laws will have their views which they will pass onto their child to try and influence the overall decision, hence creating the illusion of freedom of thought. So, this will obviously create a large void between the married couple, and eventually it will lead to arguments in the future between the couple.
Making your own choices will subside arguments. When couples have decisions to make that account for their family's future; it is always the best option that the decision be your own. If problems were to arise because of a decision made between a married couple, then the couple would have no one to blame except themselves, and that would make it a lot easier to deal with the problem. However, if the problem arose because of outside interference, then everyone involved would start pushing the blame around to each other. This would in turn lead to many arguments between the couple and their families. So, when living with in-laws and having to make decisions then it is always best for a married couple to be independent from the in-laws. The only way to actually achieve this independence is to be living separate from the in-laws.
However, parents advice to their children is obviously very important, as they have already lived through everything that their children are living through. Even if a decision has to made and the children are living away from any of the in-laws; an obvious suggestion is that the couple seek the advice from both sets of in-laws, and compare each suggestion to find the happy medium. This will help with making the best decision, and it shall not be made on the choice of one set of in-laws that would in the future cause arguments.
Living away from in-laws is the best option for any married couple. The independence that you gain from living as your own family is a lot more beneficial to the family than having someone interfere with your lives. Arguments shall be decreased especially if you are making your own mistakes. However, in-laws to any family are always important, because they have a lot more knowledge that you can obtain evenly. Overall, a family living independently from their in-laws helps a family to have a better chance of survival within days like these.
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