Yes

by Patrick Sills

Created on: April 28, 2011

When determining whether or not a woman should make that “first move,“ we must question just what this entails. Are we talking about asking someone out on a date or does this refer to taking action on a date already in progress?

These questions serve a purpose. In heterosexual dating situations of days past, the man was expected not only to ask a woman out, but also to take that first plunge into the untested waters of physical contact. It was as if living in a specific time prevented anybody from stopping to think that males could be just as shy and/or fearful of rejection as their female counterparts. “No matter,” yesterday’s rather stuffy society proclaimed.

“The male is the traditional aggressor, and therefore he must be the one to take the lead.”

End of story.

Well, this may have rung true 50 years ago, but we live in a different time now. In this day and age, you will find few females who seek that rather child-like shelter of guidance or protection. And as for blindly obeying or appeasing every wish a man may request ? Forget it. Save for those who remain virtually imprisoned within the confines of a backward culture by a simple matter of fate, women have become independent and are perfectly capable of thinking for themselves.

That being the case, the old unwritten rule that the man must ask a woman out for a date no longer applies. If a woman is interested in dating someone, then there is no longer a valid reason why she shouldn’t approach the individual and make such an inquiry, particularly if the male in question would otherwise have no way of knowing she was interested in getting to know him on a more personal level. Truthfully, this makes the dating game much easier for the male, and here‘s why: First, it takes the pressure off the man who happens to be a bit shy, and secondly, a direct, to-the-point approach also leaves no doubt that the woman is genuinely interested.

Most if not all men simply do not possess or share the same intuitive traits as do females. Moreover, women have unquestionably mastered the art of sending mixed signals. Put simply, females are experts at providing false impressions that they are attracted to a specific person. This in turn puts the vulnerable male at great risk of not only feeling foolish or even cheated when he learns otherwise, but it also deflates the ego. However, when a woman asks a man out, such grief is pleasantly eliminated.

When it comes to the date itself, it’s a wonderful feeling when that first move is out of the way. A great weight is lifted off the figurative shoulders of the party that was too timid to initiate this task. Once that moment arrives, that instant your date places his or her arm around you or plants that first kiss, it’s time to relax. At last, you can be yourself, for you are now free of the inhibitions; released from the fear of a negative response if you had instead been the one who had to break the ice. And yes, males can find themselves in this situation just as easily as females.

With these thoughts in mind, there will certainly still be men who make that first move, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, many women prefer men who display that seemingly unending air of confidence. It’s just important to realize that some men simply are not as extroverted as society would lead one to believe. Conversely, some women have quite aggressive personalities.

In regard to these types, then yes, they should indeed make the first move.

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