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by Chelsea Crawford

Created on: June 06, 2011

The Feminist Movement has given way to many debates, including whether a woman should propose marriage or not. Traditionally, men are supposed to be the ones proposing marriage but today some people argue that this limitation denies women equal rights. This claim is irrational because the Equal Rights Amendment ensures everybody equal treatment by the law regardless of one’s sex. There is not a law stating that women cannot propose marriage, but the consequences of a woman proposing marriage can take a negative toll on the relationship and future marriage. So, sure, women can legally propose marriage but that doesn’t mean they should and here are several reasons why:

1. Women Proposing Marriage Defies and Confuses the Gender Roles

Many people bash the traditional gender roles as product of a chauvinistic society trying to push men and women into pre-set molds. They are totally against society’s concepts “maleness” and “femaleness” and the duties each gender specifically entails. However, have they considered that the majority of people fall within their respective “roles” naturally? Or how about the fact that civilizations have survived and prospered because men and women fulfilled their innate responsibilities?

Men, by nature, are leaders in their relationships while women graciously follow their guide. In particular, men, as leaders, are supposed to be the ones to propose marriage to begin a brand-new chapter of the couple’s life. This allows sexes to relate to one another in a smoother, more natural way than if the roles were switched. When a woman proposes marriage, however, she is taking on the role of the man and she becomes the leader of the relationship- a recipe for disaster because the man will grow to resent her.

2. Women Build a Habit of Always Being in Control

In addition, proposing marriage kick-starts a habit for the woman to always be in control of major decisions. Granted, women are in charge of some things and manage them very well. Why else would they make amazing moms, teachers, editors, lawyers, and doctors? However, there are just some things that men must have the ultimate say in such as where the couple lives, their monthly budget, and the number of desired children. If a woman is always taking charge in the relationship, one of two things will happen: 1) the man will grow resentful towards his wife or 2) the man will become complacent. Either situation is toxic for a relationship, so it is better if the man maintains leadership. If a couple really does love each other, they will be able to compromise and work on things together.

3. Women are More Often Ready for Marriage Before Men

Sometimes men just aren’t ready for marriage and need more time to become prepared. This statement has recently become fact in the past decade because studies have shown that men are developmentally two years behind women. In addition, women tend to be more romantic than men and dream of getting married from childhood, both qualities which further make women want to get married sooner. A good rule of thumb for a marriage is that if a man is ready and wants get married, then he will propose. However, if a woman proposes before a man is ready or wants to get married then she risks scaring him and making him more unlikely to pop the question sooner.

Conclusion

Men and women share equal value but have different roles, especially when it comes to marriage. Men are the leaders of the relationship and, therefore, are the ones that are supposed to propose. If a woman proposes, it causes confusion, future problems, and, ultimately, fear on the man’s part. Society allows women more flexibility than ever in the workplace and the media, but is best for the couple that relations remain traditional in marriage.

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