Yes

by Carolyn Gibson Cpm

Created on: February 17, 2011

It still takes a village to raise a child, and that village is still the stay at home parent. He or she has the responsibility for raising a child or children from new-birth to college age. It is a multi-tasking job with transferable skills that deserves the respect equal to a parent who works outside of the home and gets paid a salary.

Ever since the feminist movement denigrated housewives for staying at home and not ‘work’ for a living, stay at home mothers and now fathers have been criticized for their career choice. The housewife or househusband has been considered something less than a person who works outside of the home. The title of ‘stay at-home parent’ is what has cheapened the parental position and status in the home. If work is valued by the tasks completed, then a stay at home partner certainly should be considered a highly skilled professional. Working at home should be considered at least the same as having a white or blue collar job.

Our society likes to tag titles on people in the work force. To that end, Family Coordinator or Household Coordinator is good names for a stay at home person. A live-in position, it is expected to be performed on a 24-hour basis, with limited time off. It does not require a degree, though experience through the years should be attributed toward the upbringing of a young life to maturity. If a Family or Household Coordinator had a job description, it would have to include the following duties:

•     Allow the outside parent to go to work by taking care of the minor children (Day Care Worker);

•     Read to the children daily for spelling and reading competency, and provide arts, crafts, books, songs, etc for the child’s education (Teacher);

•     Potty trains the child, do laundry, dishwashing, teach the child how to dress, and keep the child clean as well as teach him or her to clean themselves (Personal Care Attendant);

•     Cook all meals for the family, introducing new and nutritional foods (Chef);

•     Complete all duties within the household budget (Financial Manager); 

•     Provide a daily exercise routine through play dates, field trips and games (Personal Trainer);

•     Take care of the health needs of the children during sickness. Take children to hospital and dentist for regular check-ups. Make sure the children have their vaccinations on schedule (Nurse);

•     Get the children to and from elementary school through high school. Escort them to play dates and school plays, and teach them how to take public transportation (Chauffeur);

•     Purchase, prepare and maintain the furnishings for the home (Interior Decorator); Get bids and work with outside vendors to complete repairs for the home (Contractual Supervisor);

•     Responsible for educating the children to sociological and cultural behaviors, including etiquette (Disciplinarian);

The list is extensive and can grow longer with the age of the children. The job requires the parent to have the ability to multi-task, learn quickly, have an open mind, a sense of humor, attention to detail, and compassion among other attributes.

In a way, a stay at home parent really is paid for the work performed. Just not with a paycheck with state and federal deductions taken out. Whether called an allowance, given cash or a joint checkbook, or the use of a credit card for purchases, the parent must use financial acumen to ensure that the monthly budget is not exceeded. The stay at home parent shares the salary of the person who works outside of the home. In some cases, it is cheaper to have a parent stay at home than pay for day care. They are both responsible for making ends meet, working as a team.

As in other professions, one must be good at their job. Even though a parent must perform on-the-job training, the success or failure of the job depends on the parents’ skills, whether learned or trained. Failure to do so will cause an employee to be fired. Similarly, if a Family Coordinator does not do his or her job well, the penalty could be the removal of the child from the home.

We must throw out old terminology that serves to demean the value of the stay at home parent. To elevate the stay at home parent to a professional level we must elevate our thought process to acknowledge the many tasks inherent in being a parent that works in the home.

Anyone can say a stay at home parent is not an occupation. In fact, a stay at home parent works as hard as anyone with an outside job. The position of Family or household Coordinator should not be devalued. Our society must learn to give the respect that is due to those at the front lines of child-rearing.

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