No

by Lolito Tampus

Created on: August 29, 2010   Last Updated: April 15, 2011

Not everything is shared with a partner. Some are left for unexpected opportunities and surprises. Others are kept when changes of the heart and mind occur anytime in a minute or two. Leaving some things for us understands the situation that there's a rare place for permanence like a relationship. Keeping something for us knows the fact that each partner is unique with an element of individuality that is respected. Hiding something for us acknowledges that any partner is a struggling being that cannot fully decipher personal intricacies. We keep something for us because each one cannot completely read others. We keep things because every partner cannot not even fathom childhood, which was shaped to become adults. We preserve treasures in us because each one cannot account a life even in the presence of loved ones. Keeping things in us agrees that there is an endless mission to know oneself as Plato recommended. Furthermore, we are aware that: " Every moment is a trying and changing moment."

We have the innate nature to be dissatisfied with everything. We are doomed to eternally search for a perfect relationship. In most cases, we find it hard to find. We are in a difficult position to pretend that we have an open heart and have a discerning mind. We face the usual glimmer of hope to perfectly identify ourselves. We strive to worthily share ourselves with a partner. We need privacy at times and the independence to do whatever we want and need. Because of these, we're always misconstrued and misunderstood.  And that's why we experience separation and divorce.

We may think that there are no complications to share things with our loved ones. Mostly we presume that they are on common interests to achieve a common goal. But we cannot gauge for how long. We have the feelings that can change too. We cannot rely on our individuality. We cannot fully comprehend the past, the present and the future. We may assume that some among us can do it. But again we cannot determine for how long. We cannot fully say till death do us part. Yes, we have some relationships that last because a partner has no more option and there's  no one to turn to. We have noticed that In the course of time, someone is blinded, dependent and helpless. Nevertheless in many instances, we fail to grow as individuals.

The lives of most celebrities like those in Hollywood, are worth scrutinizing and reflecting upon. Hitting a tenth year of their marriage is already an eternity for them. Because of the nature of work, their individual desires are not fulfilled and completed. Most of them possess egoism and star complex personalities that are hard to get through. Different relationships, separation and divorce have become an ordinary culture and tradition among them. In reality, their lives can happen to ordinary couples too. Maybe, they slightly differ in the length of time.

Men and women alike are by nature have the tendencies to be selfish, polygamous and erratic. They lack goals for clear and strong relationships. They know that each one must ready at all times for eventualities. They have the right to secure a portion for ourselves on any conjugal resources like savings, properties and extra income. In case of emergency, they have something to lean on, and to stand up again for another journey in life. They do not wait for that time when they plead and appear as the underdog. Everything must be shared and divided equally.

Sharing and dividing of parts are almost synonymous. They matter on time when sharing becomes a temporary habit. They give opportunities at the onset, when the couple can agree that not everything can be divulged. They give an idea that there must be no doubt of cheating and secrecy. They also clarify that If there is an agreement and consideration on the foregoing matter, the relationship can last longer. Sharing and dividing impel that there's no space to hurt the other in the long run. They point out that there is no time for other people to be involved in the crossfire, especially the children. They give a leeway that whatever is the decision, the off springs can be accommodated by any party.

 In concluding,  it's best to leave a portion for oneself in order to graciously survive later. It is an assurance of peace and security when the situation finally comes, to say goodbye.

Learn more about this author, Lolito Tampus.
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