Home > Relationships & Family > Communication > Interpersonal Communication > Couple Communication
Should a happy couple keep secrets from each other?
Results so far:
| Yes | 32% | 83 votes | Total: 261 votes | |
| No | 68% | 178 votes |
Yes
by Amelia Randall
Created on: November 30, 2010
When It comes to keeping secrets, we all have some to hide. Secrets are not always a bad thing. In some cases they can save someone from getting hurt. Secrets can come in many forms though and some people treat lies as secrets. Disguising a lie as a secret is wrong and deceiving. Harmless secrets are fine and we all have them, they can stem from embarrassed moments in our past, to secrets from a friend, which we pledge to keep quiet.
Imagine someone you know makes a pass at you and you sorted it by saying no and reminding them you are in a relationship. Your partner gets very angry and you fear that telling him will cause him to react in the wrong way and possible get himself in trouble and the other person hurt. Some people are very fast to react and even when there is no real need. Keeping this secret is not a bad thing, it is actually in the best interest of all party's.
If you have a secret from a mate and your partner is friends with her partner, you are going to have to keep secrets and again this is not a bad thing. They could be going through a bad time and she has confided in you her troubles and things that have happened. Your partner is going to want to know because he is looking out for his friend and if you tell him then you are not being a very good friend. These types of secrets can cause trouble, only if known. If you deny having any secrets, then he will be none the wiser and you will keep your friend and lover.
The only secrets you should not keep, are those directly about you. If you have done or suggested something and you know that it is wrong and you are saving yourself from getting any flack, then it is wrong and especially if they ask you outright and you still deny. It is like lying and that is not acceptable. If you have cheated in anyway, it is not a secret it is a wrong and should not be hidden, but admitted and dealt with. If you have hurt someone or you have been in trouble for something than again this should be spoken about. These are examples of serious things that should not be covered up or hidden but discussed honestly.
Learn more about this author, Amelia Randall.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No
by Pamela Smith
Created on: February 07, 2011 Last Updated: February 08, 2011
It isn't easy to find that "perfect someone". In fact, most of us never do, at least to start with. We are all our own people with our own thoughts and opinions. We have all made our own paths in life and are going down our own roads. That "perfect someone", who is heading down their own path as well, usually appears when we least expect it. We all start out in the honey-moon phase, when all is great and good, but if a relationship is to be made, a point is usually reached to where it starts getting tricky.
We must take it upon ourselves to find out the things that matter, before a serous level is reached in the relationship. We should know all the ugly truths and except them for what they are, especially if it all took place before meeting or becoming a couple. It is our responsibility to know when it's time to lay it all on the table, when its time to find out the things that may rise up in the future, such as ex partners, criminal history, religion, children, etc.
If we start out truly knowing each other and excepting each other for who we truly are, then we will live by that. We wont be afraid to ask the forbidden questions, we wont be afraid to answer the forbidden questions, nothing will be a secret. If you truly trust in your partner and are truly trustworthy yourself, secrets will never be an issue. If a point comes to where secrets enter your lives, even just one secret, trouble is moving in and it wont take long to become overwhelming. Trust and doubt are one of the hardest things to get rid of. It's much easier to get, than to rebuild after it is broken.
Secrets should never be kept in any form, in a healthy relationship. It's almost like telling a little white lie, the first one is the hardest, it keeps you up at night, you worry about the truth being found out. The second lie is a little easier to deal with because we use the tools that we came up with dealing with the first lie, then we add to it again. The same stands with secrets. The first lie paves the way for the next. The little white lies makes room for the bigger ones. Its a never ending cycle, in most cases and it is 100% preventable.
Learn more about this author, Pamela Smith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- Next Page >>
Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills
Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all
INFORMATION
Copyright © 2002-2012 Helium, Inc. All rights reserved.
Helium.com: A Service of RR Donnelley