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Should you return an engagement ring after a break-up?
Results so far:
| Yes | 73% | 509 votes | Total: 693 votes | |
| No | 27% | 184 votes |
Yes
by Timiarah A. Camburn
Created on: December 10, 2010 Last Updated: December 18, 2010
An engagement ring is like a golden promissory note for everlasting love and a life together. When a man bends down on one knee and hands a woman a sparkling gold and diamond ring, most of the time he is asking "Will you marry me?" at the same time. The ring is a symbol of his love for his woman. The gold represents what he sees her as. The diamonds represent his heart and soul. When a woman takes this ring and answers "Yes", she is promising to love, cherish, honor, and stand by this man for all of eternity. If for some reason a woman is not able to hold up to her end of the bargain, then the engagement ring should absolutely and positively go back to the man.
Sometimes things do not quite work out the way people want them to. Engagements may last so long that one part loses interest in the other. The two love birds may find that their dreams and visions of a happy life differ in too many ways. One may find that the other does not want to have children and this was a requirement or a deep desire for him or her. Fear of ruining a friendship may occur between two people who have been best friends forever. Cold feet could set in for a guy or a girl. Worse things may happen to end an engagement. After being engaged some couples could find that are really not compatible with each other at all and their reasons for marriage were not of love, but of insecurity, fear, and loneliness. The reasons for the death of an engagement may be abuse, infidelity, or just plain commitment phobia.
No matter what the reason is for the termination of the "intent to marry contract", once it is indeed terminated a woman must return the sign up bonus. A truly honorable ex fiance should give the man back his heart so that he may one day hand it to another who will appreciate it more. Using the same ring is not recommended, but perhaps he can get a refund and buy an equally stunning ring for his next wife to be. It is neither ethical nor honorable to keep an engagement ring after the engagement has been broken. Yes, some rings are very nice. There is something about the glistening diamonds that makes a girl feel like she is a queen. However, when an engagement is broken the queen must step down from the throne as she has now forfeited her position.
Learn more about this author, Timiarah A. Camburn.
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No
by Jonathan Victor
Created on: December 11, 2010
Why would anyone ask for an engagement ring to be returned to them after breaking up with their intended? An engagement ring symbolizes both a promise to commit to one another exclusively and also a unique moment in time for those two individuals. Is it practical to keep an engagement ring after a relationship has dissolved? Certainly not. Is it practical to ask for the ring to be returned? Yes, I suppose, if the person doing the asking is only focused on the financial aspect of the ring and not the symbolism.
What woman is going to ever want to wear an engagement ring that symbolizes a relationship that is no longer valid? Further, what woman is going to accept a used engagement ring in a new proposal? Not a lot of women would. Because the ring symbolizes a unique relationship. So if the man wants the ring back because he wants to get his money back, that is a very emotionally detached reason to require the return of a gift.
Because let's face it, the ring was a gift, after-all. It was not a loan. Gifts, no matter their intended meaning, are not meant to have conditions. Gifts should come sans strings attached. Because if you are giving that symbolic item to your love, you are in fact taking a gamble that things will not work out, much as you might wish them to.
Now, if a woman wants to give back her engagement ring after a break-up of a relationship, and it is willingly done, that is her own choice. Some people like to purge themselves of items that belonged to the person that they broke up with, in a way to cope with the relationship ending. Especially if it ended on bad terms. A lot of the time, items that have greater sentimental meaning, no matter their monetary value, hurt the most when a pair breaks up. It really does depend how the break-up went, in regards to trying to determine what is appropriate to return.
This is often especially hard with couples who begin to share all their possessions, joining their material worth into one union. But an engagement ring is certainly not something that one should feel pressured to return. To many, it is a sentimental symbol of a relationship that did exist at one time, but exists no longer. There is no use denying the relationship happened, and got to the point nearing a union in marriage. Something that important and strong should not be forgotten. And if a ring is a means to triggering an important memory, all the more reason to let the woman keep her engagement ring.
Learn more about this author, Jonathan Victor.
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