Women

by Dawn Pawz

Created on: June 10, 2010   Last Updated: June 11, 2010

Rape, the very word stirs any human being to the core.  It's the worst personal attack or invasion a person can possibly go through.  For men, it is extremely hard to deal with the idea that they fell prey to this type of violence.  More so than for women because of the way society has been structured.  Men defend, are the stronger of the sexes, but to become a victim of such an attack strikes at their very manhood, their need to provide and protect. 

For anyone who does go through the attack itself, they are left feeling as if they have walked out on a lonely, cold, frozen lake, suddenly the ice beneath them has broken and they are dropped into the frigid, jagged and dark underworld of the lake.  They are left gasping for air, struggling to find hope for the surface's light and warmth again.  They are left to reach out the one hand that will somehow reach them and pull them out of the cold.  Someone who can hear their muffled screams.  I say muffled screams, yells, for male victims, because it's an offense that many times goes unreported.  This is due to the fact that the person feels so defiled and incredibly injured, both physically and emotionally.   Yet, just because they don't outwardly yell, doesn't mean that they aren't holding a silent yell within their ripped hearts.  For males and females alike who do survive this insidious act of violence, the word, rape brings self contempt,and fear of how others will view them.  It is common for males to deal with more anger issues.

Males are fighting an uphill battle, both physically and emotionally.  One hospital reported in a study that followed the same number of female to male victims, that the males had more severe physical injuries and were much less likely to vocalize the extent of the injury.  Here again, it's really a matter of them struggling with the idea that they are the ones who are to be protecting females from rape and not the victims of it themselves.  To read more about the hospital study you can follow the link provided here:  Psychiatry Online.  They may have a harder time with anger issues due to the fact that men are culturally taught more aggression.  They can have feeling of guilt due to the fact that even though it is an attack of violence, they can still become hard.  More often than with females who are raped, males have multiple attackers and weapons are used.  They can be raped by females, but the statistics are low.  However, many more men do not report rape than women who don't report rape.  It's more common that others feel that the male wanted it anyway, more so than with a female victim.  Just as a female victim can respond physically.  It's hormone reaction and not the victim's fault.  This leads to undue guilt.

For those who have not been raped, the mere thought of it is almost all but forbidden.  Vocabulary becomes scarce.  It is a way to feel safer.  This violence can't happen if I am careful.  In fact, you can take preventative measures, but that doesn't mean that you will be able to stop an attack someday.  It is an attack of violence, sometimes planned,  sometimes unplanned.  You cannot always be prepared.  This is how victims get trapped in the feeling is was their own fault, is in this type of belief system. 

There needs to be more open dialogue regarding rape, so that it is not a taboo issue.  It needs to be more understood and this is accomplished by open conversations and communications.  Questions should be saved for the offender rather than the victims.  Let's focus on asking the offender, "Why did you feel you needed to be out and hurting someone else tonight?"  Our focus as a society really needs to change so we can better care for our truly injured.  Save only comments of concern for those who have suffered a dear and tragic loss.

Learn more about this author, Dawn Pawz.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.